Thinking of You
Title: Thinking of You
Written by: Traciaknows
Rating for Chapter: T
Main Characters: Elena/Damon/(Stefan)
A/N: This has not been betaed. Any and all mistakes are mine.
A little something for the delightful badboy_fangirl.
Title from Katy Perry’s Thinking of You.
Summary: Taken from this prompt from Candy:
"He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh! He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself 'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you"
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. No copyright infringement is intended.
She knows his body like her own. This is what she wanted. Stefan, holding her, kissing her. Stefan looking into her eyes, asking questions without words, questions that she should have easy answers to.
Under the surface of their relationship, those questions are waiting to strike in those quiet moments of self-doubt, or worse, honesty. They’ve never been good at honesty, but they have always been good with don’t ask, don’t tell, so that pattern continues. She doesn’t allow herself think about that too often. With so much chaos, it’s just easier to go through the motions of the choice she’s made. Stefan is a safe harbor in the dangerous sea that is her life. And Damon? He’s still Damon and as ever, the idea of him is too big for her, so she turns away from him to something that should be simple, what is known.
She breathes in Stefan’s scent and its warm, familiar, and should be perfect. Her hands run over his arms, climbing to his shoulders, and she waits for the rightness of his presence that just doesn’t come. The ache of loss she’s not ready to understand spreads throughout her chest, but she presses his mouth to his anyway, and tries not to think about the last time she was really, truly kissed.
A simple “why not?” had been enough to push her over the edge of reason and into Damon’s embrace, and then ultimately between him and a hard place.
Damon is the one who is good with honesty. She knows he uses it as a weapon, especially against her. He is impulsive, dangerous, and wants parts of her she’s not even sure that she has. But when the Denver night was cool on her skin and his mouth was hot on hers, it was as close to perfect as she’s ever known. As Stefan deepens their kiss now, she hates herself. Frantically, she tries to focus on what she’s doing, on Stefan, and the fact that this is what she wants.
Sliding her mouth against his, searching for the memory of them, moving her fingers into his hair, doing her best to ignore that she now knows the difference in the weight and texture of his and Damon’s. Knows the harm that would be caused if Stefan knew her thoughts, and it’s too much. She’s not ready to fly without any type of net. When she feels Stefan start to pull back some, it’s the first time she’s ever been glad that she kisses with her eyes closed.