Just wish that I didnt feel like there was something I missed...
Had to call off lunch with Pansy today. I've been curled up in bed all day with Wollstonecraft. I feel like fucking shite. I suppose it's a good thing that I do... (Note to self: Get in to see Professor Snape before we slip up and next month I DON'T feel like rubbish!)
I'm trying to stay away from people anyway. After the ball... I just can't believe that such a beautiful night was ruined by the death of such a wanker. Could whoever was inspired to murder the bastard not have waited until after my event?
Theo is a lot more upset than I am. He never liked the man, but he feels that this is a disastrous shake-up for the government. When I muttered that I thought perhaps the administration needed a bit of a shake up he looked at me like he'd never seen me before.
What is it with all the men in my life and their preconceived notions about who and what I am? What with Theo, Draco and Val - and no doubt Blaise (who I'm assuming is currently brooding and not speaking to me over an off-handed comment I made weeks ago) it's a wonder that I don't have multiple personalities or something. I never thought I was hiding who I was from them... I thought they KNEW me - but now it seems I have to hide at least part of me.
I can't see any of them being overly supportive of the Liberi. Draco might have understood once... but not now that he's carved his arm to pieces. At least I have Simone... and now Cormac? That was an interesting (yet terrifying) thing to find out. I asked him not to tell Pansy about me... but I can hear him now, "Pansy, darling - you know that silly little friend you have - the one who can't possibly take care of herself? I think she's jumped in with a new crowd that might be a little to hard-core for her. You should gather all her respective keepers and force her to behave." - Hopefully I've shown him that I'm not just a silly little bint - but who knows? All I know is that there is another person in the world other than S who can hurt me with the people I love if they say anything. I trust Simone... but I don't know Cormac enough to trust that he wouldn't do it if it were something that would benefit him. I'll have to see about that... maybe another lunch would be in order...
I'm trying to stay away from people anyway. After the ball... I just can't believe that such a beautiful night was ruined by the death of such a wanker. Could whoever was inspired to murder the bastard not have waited until after my event?
Theo is a lot more upset than I am. He never liked the man, but he feels that this is a disastrous shake-up for the government. When I muttered that I thought perhaps the administration needed a bit of a shake up he looked at me like he'd never seen me before.
What is it with all the men in my life and their preconceived notions about who and what I am? What with Theo, Draco and Val - and no doubt Blaise (who I'm assuming is currently brooding and not speaking to me over an off-handed comment I made weeks ago) it's a wonder that I don't have multiple personalities or something. I never thought I was hiding who I was from them... I thought they KNEW me - but now it seems I have to hide at least part of me.
I can't see any of them being overly supportive of the Liberi. Draco might have understood once... but not now that he's carved his arm to pieces. At least I have Simone... and now Cormac? That was an interesting (yet terrifying) thing to find out. I asked him not to tell Pansy about me... but I can hear him now, "Pansy, darling - you know that silly little friend you have - the one who can't possibly take care of herself? I think she's jumped in with a new crowd that might be a little to hard-core for her. You should gather all her respective keepers and force her to behave." - Hopefully I've shown him that I'm not just a silly little bint - but who knows? All I know is that there is another person in the world other than S who can hurt me with the people I love if they say anything. I trust Simone... but I don't know Cormac enough to trust that he wouldn't do it if it were something that would benefit him. I'll have to see about that... maybe another lunch would be in order...