Still dont know what I was waiting for...
I met someone.
Well, that makes it sound like I am going to throw Theo over for someone and that is certainly not the case. I don't go for blondes... especially blonde women. Though I'm sure she's a very attractive individual... if you can get over the woman part.
Anyway - I think I may have met a 'friend'. One who hasn't known me since I was a child. One without prior cause to be my friend for any other reason that that she wants to be. I think she wants to be.
It was all comfortable and I may have let a few things slip when I shouldn't have. That right there tells me I should run far away from this friendship. Though... I DID have her backgrounds looked into (Note to self: Remember to keep things like that for when Theo isn't home. I'm quite sure it may have creeped him out a little bit last night). After reading about her past, I think I can guess where her leanings lie and I think she made be safe. It was horrible. No one should have to...
Things are changing. And as much as I am afraid of these changes, it seems I won't be able to stop them. I'm not blind enough not to know that most of the crowd I associate with put up with me because I'm their 'little sister'. Little Tracey who must be taken care of and who can be tolerated for shorter and shorter periods of time and bought off with jewellery (but it was so so pretty - but that's not the point).
I can't stop Blaise from consorting with his Mudbl- with his perfectly nice blonde girlfriend who he never would have looked at twice before when we were young. I can't keep Greg from becoming self-destructive or evasive. He's never going to tell me the truth about anything... oh no... it might hurt his precious Maeve. I'd really like to meet this perfect woman he seems to think I am. But yeah - whatever! I'm becoming less and less important in their lives. It isn't fair to think that I have to sit at home moaning over the loss of my family.
Who decided that friends have to be our family anyway? You love your family even when you may not like them. I'd actually like a friend who likes me. The real me.
I'm going to owl her.
Well, that makes it sound like I am going to throw Theo over for someone and that is certainly not the case. I don't go for blondes... especially blonde women. Though I'm sure she's a very attractive individual... if you can get over the woman part.
Anyway - I think I may have met a 'friend'. One who hasn't known me since I was a child. One without prior cause to be my friend for any other reason that that she wants to be. I think she wants to be.
It was all comfortable and I may have let a few things slip when I shouldn't have. That right there tells me I should run far away from this friendship. Though... I DID have her backgrounds looked into (Note to self: Remember to keep things like that for when Theo isn't home. I'm quite sure it may have creeped him out a little bit last night). After reading about her past, I think I can guess where her leanings lie and I think she made be safe. It was horrible. No one should have to...
Things are changing. And as much as I am afraid of these changes, it seems I won't be able to stop them. I'm not blind enough not to know that most of the crowd I associate with put up with me because I'm their 'little sister'. Little Tracey who must be taken care of and who can be tolerated for shorter and shorter periods of time and bought off with jewellery (but it was so so pretty - but that's not the point).
I can't stop Blaise from consorting with his Mudbl- with his perfectly nice blonde girlfriend who he never would have looked at twice before when we were young. I can't keep Greg from becoming self-destructive or evasive. He's never going to tell me the truth about anything... oh no... it might hurt his precious Maeve. I'd really like to meet this perfect woman he seems to think I am. But yeah - whatever! I'm becoming less and less important in their lives. It isn't fair to think that I have to sit at home moaning over the loss of my family.
Who decided that friends have to be our family anyway? You love your family even when you may not like them. I'd actually like a friend who likes me. The real me.
I'm going to owl her.