Comments | traceroo: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy on "Rich Dad, Poor Dad," and Personal Attractiveness

traceroo

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy on "Rich Dad, Poor Dad," and Personal Attractiveness

Nov 28, 2007 09:10

Reading, Learning and Teaching
I finished reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad last night and I am now officially part of its cult. It was enormously inspiring! I'm even thinking of rereading it right away before I return it to the library. I openly recommend this book to everyone. Wow! It's also given me a list of new reads I want to sink my teeth into, and ( Read more... )

personal finance reading, personal finance, what i'm reading, authenticity

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Pretty Is as Pretty Does nighthob November 28 2007, 15:41:42 UTC

I'm terrible about having a negative reaction to attractive women. And I'm fully aware that my reaction is based on my own insecurities and envy. On the other hand, my experience with very attractive women is that they do tend to be shallow. (There are obvious exceptions - awesome people like suibhne, birdofparadox, and my friend Genevieve, among others.) I equate beauty with bitchy, and it seems like most of those beautiful, dreadful, bitchy girls from high school become beautiful, dreadful, bitchy adults. So I'm often predisposed to dislike women who I think are attractive ( ... )

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does traceroo November 28 2007, 16:16:06 UTC

I find it interesting that you remark entirely on women in this. What about men who pretty-up?

T.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does nighthob November 28 2007, 16:56:43 UTC

Pretty much the same reaction, actually. I find myself giving some eye-rolling over men who pretty-up too much. I like it when men do the basics of being shaved, bathed, and wearing clean clothes. But a guy who uses a bunch of hair product or looks like he spends time primping strikes me as being shallow.

Then again, I tend to be attractive to men who aren't conventionally "hot," so maybe I'm a poor judge. "Hot" guys intimidate me.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does traceroo November 28 2007, 17:19:15 UTC

Why do hot guys intimidate you? Do you feel judged by them?

T.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does nighthob November 28 2007, 18:15:30 UTC

Yes, I assume that they'll judge me. And I instantly feel like the unattractive, geeky girl from high school all over again when I'm around them.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does traceroo November 28 2007, 18:16:05 UTC

Even if they're physically attractive, but big choads?

T.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does nighthob November 28 2007, 19:30:05 UTC

Once the asshattery begins, they cease to be hot to me and I no longer feel insecure. But I get very shy and tongue-tied around attractive men at first. And if they don't display choadishness, I'm likely to remain someone insecure. For example, Roger wasn't even all that hot, and I continued to feel insecure around him the whole time we dated.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does traceroo November 28 2007, 19:59:11 UTC

Huh.

So - asshatery can make someone appear no longer even physically attractive to you. Does it work the same way in reverse? Can someone totally cool become hot in your opinion over time?

T.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does nighthob November 28 2007, 20:28:04 UTC

Oh, yeah. Totally.

I never thought Dude was particularly hot when I knew him years ago, but getting to know him now and him being as awesome as he is makes him super hot and sexy to me. More than once, I've had a male friend that I didn't feel a spark for until I got to know him, and then started noticing attractive qualities about him. Chad became way more attractive once I got to know him, and I still think he had the most beautiful, soulful eyes I've ever seen.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does traceroo November 28 2007, 20:50:56 UTC

I think that speaks enormous volumes to how cool YOU are, and how shallow you aren't.

T.

And by the way... traceroo November 28 2007, 20:52:52 UTC

If you know someone cool, and they become physically attractive in your eye over time - are you then intimidated by them? Or do you have to find them hot to start out with to feel that sense of intimidation?

T.

Re: And by the way... nightcrawler88 November 29 2007, 00:11:19 UTC

I've heard it described thusly-

Men grow to love those they're attracted to, women grow attracted to those they love.

Girls, is this accurate? Simplistic, to be sure, but something about it seems true in a sense.

Re: And by the way... traceroo November 29 2007, 00:21:29 UTC

I'm the oddball here. I can easily differentiate between a hot loser and the frog prince. I don't think my opinion here is what I'd call typical.

T.

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does v4vagina December 1 2007, 15:37:11 UTC

I am the same way about that but also with guys who work out all the time. In my mind's eye I see them spending hours in front of the mirror flexing and kissing their biceps

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does v4vagina December 1 2007, 15:36:14 UTC

I am the same way about the "pretty people". In my younger days when I was slim, fit and attractive, I took it for granted. I was flirted with constantly but actually I thought that happened to everyone. I learned to ignore it. I also know by experience that they get away with murder because of their looks. Today I feel resentful for that but I also feel pity because I have grown so much on the inside and many pretty people I meet have never had the amazingly deep and meaningful relationships that the plainer people had to work for and earn. They never had to work for it ( ... )

Re: Pretty Is as Pretty Does traceroo December 1 2007, 16:18:01 UTC

This is what fascinates me so much about this topic. We who were raised after the Civil Rights movement grew up with so much influence teaching us that racial prejudice is wrong, maybe cultural or religious prejudice is wrong (although I'll bet each of our families have the "except..." categories there) -- but culturually, we don't think much about the prejudice of physical attractiveness.

Now that I've asked this question, I find it so interesting that many of us form these judgments and prejudices. And it's not always a pretty picture for pretty people. It seems they can be as much resented as they are admired. It sure makes me reconsider the appearance I want to project to others -- and I don't mean that as an empty philosophical platutude. I really am considering it!

T.

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