What should I talk about?

[traceo]

I haven't updated in quite a while. It's strange, you'd think that the more stuff that happens in my life the easier it would be for me to update this thing. But it seems to work the opposite, the more shit that goes on in my life, the less I update. But dissecting my updating habits is boring so on to something else. But what? I just have so much I could talk about. How about starting with this. Between my last entry and this one I have gone out with Lauren and then broken up with her. Now this is kinda strange, but since we've broken up, nothing has changed between us, absolutely nothing. The point of the break up, I have no idea. She wanted it, said she still wasnt ready for a boyfriend. Well that is just a word, and I don't known if she's realized it yet, but just because we aren't "boyfriend and girlfriend" doesnt mean that we're not gonna be that close. She has a chance of getting hurt either way, and so do I, and the only difference between us going out and not is that when we're going out I can call her mine and she can call me hers. Why do I want that? Most likely because I'm insecure about everything and feel more comfortable that way. I just want this girl so bad and to be able to have her would put me in absolute ecstasy. But dont get me wrong, this isnt something im worrying about. I'm done with worrying, done with stressing, its made a complete mess of me. Do I think about it? Most definitely, but not stress. I'm happy the way things are now, I would just be happier the other way, but im not gonna fuck this up just to try to get instant gratification. The reality of the situation is that I love her and love being around her, and I know for the most part she feels the same way. So I'm just gonna let things play out, not stress, not worry, not force anything, just let time pass and see what happens. Atlanta should be interesting.
Now see what happens when I update, I just go on these uncontrollable rants.
Whatever.