just one of those days....that a girl goes through
do you ever just have those days when every lil thing becomes too much...thoughts you've been holding back, work you've put off, friends you miss hanging out with...the list goes on...today was def one of those days for me...camp is winding down..and tomorrow is the last day...which made it even more crazy than normal...it was fun...but just took so much out of me...its so hard to explain to ppl just how tired i really am at the end of a day there..its one of those things you just have to experience on your own to understand...i feel bad declining offers...but i cant help the way i feel..not only were the kids crazy today...but in the middle of the day another staff member in my pod randomly came back after going to the outhouse with two kids and was like can someone just go out there with them...i need to take a break now..and she left the cabin...she has NEVER taken a break in the six weeks we've been there so i got really scared..i went to watch the two kids and as i was bringing them back she was passing us with her bag she brings...and she's like im leaving but ill be back tomorrow..and her eyes were watering so i was like what happened? and she said her friend jsut died in a car accident...i didnt know what to do or say!! my eyes started to water just thinking about it..she's 20...and it was just a really scary moment...i dont even know what's REALLY bothering me lately...im just having a hard time dealing wtih stuff.im hoping that its just because of being overtired from the camp...let's see what sleep does for me...then again my next 4 weeks consist of summer projects...with the next two weekends being booked...which are 6 days i desperately needed..i get myself into way too much and i can never get out of it..i hate that in myself...i can never just say no...because i dont want to hurt ppl's feelings...or i dont want ppl to be mad at me....i dont know....ahhhhh i think i just need a PERSONAL day....just me...alll day...no interruptions...i think i would use it to sleep...i dont see that in the near future tho :(