Attack against marriage
Okay so I write a lot, but usually I don't share my writings. But my friend Julian inspired me. Julian's been a friend of my husband and I since high school. Yep, we go that far back. But like most high school friends we catch up when we can and now being out on our own, it's getting harder and harder to do just that.
So Julian's on the "never getting married" boat. What can I say? It's not surprising. I find that the more and more of my friends and family are refusing to get married. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe because so many of my friends have families that are so whacked out. My families crazy, but that's for a later day. We were raised in society where divorce was the norm and taught that work makes us who we, are not another individual.
How did I take this path? My parents are still together...but is it the healthiest of relationships? Fuck no. Healthy is the last word to describe it. I'd describe it more as an addiction to each other. Seriously, they're addicts. They know that the other is bad for them, but they stay together because that's all they know - each other.
Believe me this scared -ahem- scares me. But I met someone who makes me question everything I learned about marriage. Patience. Trust. Compromise. Three things my parents rarely did. So the real question is, why are 20 and 30 somethings fearful of something that has it's benefits?
Benefits. I forgot to mention those. Let's see...oh! When I'm scared by some spooky movie I watched or if Ghost Hunters captures something really eerie I can crawl into bed with Bry and think, "if that fucking thing is out to get me, it has to get through Bry first." Or if I'm really drunk and we're driving home and we get the munchies, Bry can stop by McDonald's and order my favorite meal and drink without me being conscious.
And some days, this is realllly cutesy so get your puke buckets ready, anyway some days when I'm having a horrible day. I'll get home, peeling off the pounds of stress from work and such, and he'll have a bubble bath ready, with candles and a glass of wine nearby. Seriously, it's like having your own personal Alfred, I mean butler for those of you who are blanking on the Batman ref.
But I can see why getting married could seem like the kiss of death for some folks, (I'm not calling you out Julian, I'm just sayin). It takes a lot to open up to someone who you want to see nekkid, and then you have to see that person age, see things you never wanted to see in the first place. Then there's "repeating what my mom/dad" syndrome. That's when you believe that your marriage will be the same as your parents, that you will morph magically into your mother, I mean I got her freckles, and her crusty feet, and her smile and don't forget her temper, the next step has to be her condescending tone!
And compromise is a big thing. I mean I want to sit in my hair rollers, granny panties while munching on popcorn and watch horror movies on the boob tube til I'm so paranoid that I lock myself in the closet with a chef's knife. But I don't. Cuz Bry has to watch his food porn and you don't keep a good man from his food porn. It makes him horngry. You dig?
Marriage isn't the easiest thing, I'm a pro by the way I got 3 years under my belt, but it is rewarding. And I wouldn't change a thing...okay ladies, it's true they do leave socks everywhere, it has to take planning on Bry's part to leave socks BETWEEN the couch cushion because there's not even a penny there, but some chunky funky socks? Yep they're there.
What was I saying? Marriage. I would change a few things, (those damn socks!), but I'd do again in a heartbeat. It's not every day you meet a man you want to spend the rest of your life with and possibly give birth to his big headed babies that could split a watermelon in two.
Peace homies.
So Julian's on the "never getting married" boat. What can I say? It's not surprising. I find that the more and more of my friends and family are refusing to get married. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe because so many of my friends have families that are so whacked out. My families crazy, but that's for a later day. We were raised in society where divorce was the norm and taught that work makes us who we, are not another individual.
How did I take this path? My parents are still together...but is it the healthiest of relationships? Fuck no. Healthy is the last word to describe it. I'd describe it more as an addiction to each other. Seriously, they're addicts. They know that the other is bad for them, but they stay together because that's all they know - each other.
Believe me this scared -ahem- scares me. But I met someone who makes me question everything I learned about marriage. Patience. Trust. Compromise. Three things my parents rarely did. So the real question is, why are 20 and 30 somethings fearful of something that has it's benefits?
Benefits. I forgot to mention those. Let's see...oh! When I'm scared by some spooky movie I watched or if Ghost Hunters captures something really eerie I can crawl into bed with Bry and think, "if that fucking thing is out to get me, it has to get through Bry first." Or if I'm really drunk and we're driving home and we get the munchies, Bry can stop by McDonald's and order my favorite meal and drink without me being conscious.
And some days, this is realllly cutesy so get your puke buckets ready, anyway some days when I'm having a horrible day. I'll get home, peeling off the pounds of stress from work and such, and he'll have a bubble bath ready, with candles and a glass of wine nearby. Seriously, it's like having your own personal Alfred, I mean butler for those of you who are blanking on the Batman ref.
But I can see why getting married could seem like the kiss of death for some folks, (I'm not calling you out Julian, I'm just sayin). It takes a lot to open up to someone who you want to see nekkid, and then you have to see that person age, see things you never wanted to see in the first place. Then there's "repeating what my mom/dad" syndrome. That's when you believe that your marriage will be the same as your parents, that you will morph magically into your mother, I mean I got her freckles, and her crusty feet, and her smile and don't forget her temper, the next step has to be her condescending tone!
And compromise is a big thing. I mean I want to sit in my hair rollers, granny panties while munching on popcorn and watch horror movies on the boob tube til I'm so paranoid that I lock myself in the closet with a chef's knife. But I don't. Cuz Bry has to watch his food porn and you don't keep a good man from his food porn. It makes him horngry. You dig?
Marriage isn't the easiest thing, I'm a pro by the way I got 3 years under my belt, but it is rewarding. And I wouldn't change a thing...okay ladies, it's true they do leave socks everywhere, it has to take planning on Bry's part to leave socks BETWEEN the couch cushion because there's not even a penny there, but some chunky funky socks? Yep they're there.
What was I saying? Marriage. I would change a few things, (those damn socks!), but I'd do again in a heartbeat. It's not every day you meet a man you want to spend the rest of your life with and possibly give birth to his big headed babies that could split a watermelon in two.
Peace homies.