Sick of awnsering the question.
where is nicole?
i dont know okay?
well i probably know but thats not the point.
Saturday morning me and nicole had a talk and ended it.
it was very civil.
It was something i knew was coming so i kind of broached the subject.
I was getting the cold shoulder for a week or so and i was starting to hate it.
I made her upset in everyway managable i suppose.
I would try to make plans then something would always come up, wich i do/did =\ tottaly understand. I guess some of my coments after these letdowns got to her more then i knew, and had i known i never woulda made them.
But its dissapointing when u feel s0 much for somone and time and time again shit gets fucked up. I shoulda have handled that better and for that im sorry but its something i never had to deal with before. Once me and her unleased our feelings it was hard for me to reign them in, and easier for her i suppose.
I dont resent or hate her, but sometimes i wish i did, it would make this alot easier.
I dont want anyone else, to me anyone else would just be like a gdam substitue for what i really want.
Like oh great i got a maragrine girl but gdammit i prefer butter.
Or eh i have this carabe but i use to have chocolate.
i dunno im rambling.
it just sucks i cant turn my feelings off, and she seems to be fine with it all.
Maybe someday i can get her back, but i doubt it. Shes amazing she will find somone better/smarter/more sucsesful/ more attractive within no time if she wants.
Me? she was my end. iknow some of you are thinking but u didnt date that long but the thing is i wanted her since i first saw her. first kissed her yada yada.
Its like i had my goal and i somohow fumbled on the 1 yard line.
ok enough with the gay methapors.
ill be ok.
its just hard to be single and free to do what you want,but at the same time in love and not able to do the only thing u want to do.
I have gotten over girls before, (not to this magnatude though) and can do it again.
I just dont want to.
im not being emo either just expressing my feelings. i just wanted to put my feelings all down on paper.
er text
whatever.
So before you ask i know ill be ok.
and before any of u attempt to bad mouth her stop in your tracks because its not something that could be helped i suppose.
She seems to be alot happier since it happend, and thats good. It should just enforce to herself that she was right and is doing the right thing.
I just wish i fealt the same.
It does feel like a little weight has been lifted of my shoulders,
sucky thing is now its hovering over my heart.
if that makes any sense as well.
So i wish her the best, and i hope she remember the good times, me being there through her hormone rages (god i dont miss that, yet i do lol ) and when mason was born and the spark, the flame and the pashion of the first few weeks we where dating.
Thats what id try to concentrate on, if i wasnt trying to tottaly repress it all at this point.
I had all the bases loaded and i struck out. Choked in the clutch part of the game.
I miss her allrady.
I dont wanna lose her forever.
But i feel like i allready have.
ok im at work enough of this.
just had to get it down so i dont have to awnser any more questions i can just link them.
How Come
----------------------------------------------------------------------
How Come.. we don't even talk no more
And you don't even call no more
We don't barely keep in touch at all
And I don't even feel the same love when we hug no more
And I heard it through the grapevine.. We been beefin now
After all the years we've been down.. ain't no way no how
This bullshit can't be true
We family.. ain't a damn thing changed.. unless it's you
( lyrics not to be taken litteraly 100percent)
i dont know okay?
well i probably know but thats not the point.
Saturday morning me and nicole had a talk and ended it.
it was very civil.
It was something i knew was coming so i kind of broached the subject.
I was getting the cold shoulder for a week or so and i was starting to hate it.
I made her upset in everyway managable i suppose.
I would try to make plans then something would always come up, wich i do/did =\ tottaly understand. I guess some of my coments after these letdowns got to her more then i knew, and had i known i never woulda made them.
But its dissapointing when u feel s0 much for somone and time and time again shit gets fucked up. I shoulda have handled that better and for that im sorry but its something i never had to deal with before. Once me and her unleased our feelings it was hard for me to reign them in, and easier for her i suppose.
I dont resent or hate her, but sometimes i wish i did, it would make this alot easier.
I dont want anyone else, to me anyone else would just be like a gdam substitue for what i really want.
Like oh great i got a maragrine girl but gdammit i prefer butter.
Or eh i have this carabe but i use to have chocolate.
i dunno im rambling.
it just sucks i cant turn my feelings off, and she seems to be fine with it all.
Maybe someday i can get her back, but i doubt it. Shes amazing she will find somone better/smarter/more sucsesful/ more attractive within no time if she wants.
Me? she was my end. iknow some of you are thinking but u didnt date that long but the thing is i wanted her since i first saw her. first kissed her yada yada.
Its like i had my goal and i somohow fumbled on the 1 yard line.
ok enough with the gay methapors.
ill be ok.
its just hard to be single and free to do what you want,but at the same time in love and not able to do the only thing u want to do.
I have gotten over girls before, (not to this magnatude though) and can do it again.
I just dont want to.
im not being emo either just expressing my feelings. i just wanted to put my feelings all down on paper.
er text
whatever.
So before you ask i know ill be ok.
and before any of u attempt to bad mouth her stop in your tracks because its not something that could be helped i suppose.
She seems to be alot happier since it happend, and thats good. It should just enforce to herself that she was right and is doing the right thing.
I just wish i fealt the same.
It does feel like a little weight has been lifted of my shoulders,
sucky thing is now its hovering over my heart.
if that makes any sense as well.
So i wish her the best, and i hope she remember the good times, me being there through her hormone rages (god i dont miss that, yet i do lol ) and when mason was born and the spark, the flame and the pashion of the first few weeks we where dating.
Thats what id try to concentrate on, if i wasnt trying to tottaly repress it all at this point.
I had all the bases loaded and i struck out. Choked in the clutch part of the game.
I miss her allrady.
I dont wanna lose her forever.
But i feel like i allready have.
ok im at work enough of this.
just had to get it down so i dont have to awnser any more questions i can just link them.
How Come
----------------------------------------------------------------------
How Come.. we don't even talk no more
And you don't even call no more
We don't barely keep in touch at all
And I don't even feel the same love when we hug no more
And I heard it through the grapevine.. We been beefin now
After all the years we've been down.. ain't no way no how
This bullshit can't be true
We family.. ain't a damn thing changed.. unless it's you
( lyrics not to be taken litteraly 100percent)