Apr 21, 2005 15:03
Saturday was definitely a success for parents and kids alike. It was gorgeous outside. We played beer pong, sat on couches outside, ate amazing food and I got my mom and my brother wasted. It was really fun to hang out with everyone's families, and it's odd that there are that many of us in one group of friends whose parents are still married (as sad as that is to say). My mom pretty much forced my 19 year old brother to do a beer bong and while he was doing it yelled "They dont do this at OCC Rob!" She also told Heidi and I that we should marry for money and not love like she did (or at least marry some OLD rich guy). When Heidi had mardi gras beads on my mom asked her if that meant that she had been showing her boobies, and told her that next time she did she should wait for a cuter necklace. I guess my mom would say stuff like that when she was sober.... but it was amusing nonetheless.
The East Lansing Police once again proved their worthlessness when 3 cars showed up and made us all go inside (even though it was blatantly a bunch of 21 year olds with their parents).
In other news, Im pretty sure that I had another panic attack yesterday. It's the most uncomfortable feeling I could describe. For seemingly no reason my heart just started racing, I got all shaky, couldn't breathe and felt completely nauseous, I couldn't decide if I wanted to lay down or get out of the house and run 20 miles. In the past when I had panic attacks I didn't know what was happening and I felt like I was going to die or explode or something. This time it was very minor because I I had the presence of mind to be outside of myself as it was happening and to say "OK this is a panic attack". Quitting my medication in December seemed like a good idea at the time, and I've been doing really well, but I guess I shouldn't be messing with this chemical imbalance/anxiety bullshit. I hate not being able to control it and I hate it that there is no real reason for it. I just don't want to have to deal with it anymore.