A story.
I worked as a priest downtown for 58 years. I tell you, no matter how long it gets, you never get over the sob stories. Never forget all the heartache people gave to you.
It's good though. Their stories are between them and God now.
I remember this one. Guy comes into the confessional. You can always tell when they're new at this. Clearing the throat, looking around nervously.
"Tell me, my son, what troubles you?" I ask.
With that, he kindof breaks down. I could live to be a hundred and I'll never forget what a grown man crying looks like. The sobs that come out from deep.
Women... they cry over a lot of things. But when men cry... it's pain.
"Father... it's my girlfriend. I just don't know anymore. It seems like things are getting worse. We're planning on getting married in 2 months, but things..."
"Tell me everything. Take your time."
Over the course of an hour, he spilled it out. Guy meets girl. Girl is his first love, best love. They do everything together, plan their lives out. Marriage planned, family planned.
Life happens. She starts doing things that don't make sense.
"Like smoking. She was always against it, you see? I never touched a cig in my life, but she always hated it. One day I came home and there she was. Burning cigarette in one hand. Half a pack left on the table. I watched that smoke curl uptowards the ceiling. Felt like my dreams."
What could I tell him? People change. Maybe she wasn't the one? I told him to pause the plans. Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong.
Sometime's God's book doesn't answer these things.
---
A couple months later he comes back. He looks like hell. I can feel his pain when he sits down, exhaustion leaving as he fell into the seat. Looking over at me, tears stained his eyes.
"Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession." he began.
I knew something was wrong moreso by the fact that he knew the words. It was planned. Practiced. He probably spent days going over what he was going to say.
This never bode well.
I had this younger lady come in, maybe 17 at the oldest. She gave the line and the confession like a robot. No emotion.
She killed herself a day later.
"I tried slowing things down. Tried my hardest to explain to her what was wrong. She didn't get it. We argued. Screaming, slamming doors... I didn't know what to do.
I live alone now. I'm just starting to think that maybe there might be a good future for me.
But then I saw her, father. I saw her on the street next to this guy. He was everything wrong for her. Everything she said she hated. I just kind of broke, you know?
She replaced me with him. Everything about me that she told me she loved... she just gave it up.
I don't know what to do...?"
I sat and thought about this one. I had to give the right advice. He was on the edge and looking back one last time.
"She still loves you, my son. Anything like you she can no longer stand. If she picked up another guy like you, it would be like dating you. So she picked someone else. Someone different."
"But she's going to get hurt. I'm not going to be there to help her!"
"That may be. But it's her choice. Maybe God doesn't want you two together. Maybe he does. You can't rush his plan. Only go along with it."
I pushed him off that ledge. It wasn't what he wanted to hear.
He was found dead the next morning.
Even now, some 50 years later, I won't even forget him. There isn't much I can forget anymore.
-T.R.Jay
It's good though. Their stories are between them and God now.
I remember this one. Guy comes into the confessional. You can always tell when they're new at this. Clearing the throat, looking around nervously.
"Tell me, my son, what troubles you?" I ask.
With that, he kindof breaks down. I could live to be a hundred and I'll never forget what a grown man crying looks like. The sobs that come out from deep.
Women... they cry over a lot of things. But when men cry... it's pain.
"Father... it's my girlfriend. I just don't know anymore. It seems like things are getting worse. We're planning on getting married in 2 months, but things..."
"Tell me everything. Take your time."
Over the course of an hour, he spilled it out. Guy meets girl. Girl is his first love, best love. They do everything together, plan their lives out. Marriage planned, family planned.
Life happens. She starts doing things that don't make sense.
"Like smoking. She was always against it, you see? I never touched a cig in my life, but she always hated it. One day I came home and there she was. Burning cigarette in one hand. Half a pack left on the table. I watched that smoke curl uptowards the ceiling. Felt like my dreams."
What could I tell him? People change. Maybe she wasn't the one? I told him to pause the plans. Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong.
Sometime's God's book doesn't answer these things.
---
A couple months later he comes back. He looks like hell. I can feel his pain when he sits down, exhaustion leaving as he fell into the seat. Looking over at me, tears stained his eyes.
"Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession." he began.
I knew something was wrong moreso by the fact that he knew the words. It was planned. Practiced. He probably spent days going over what he was going to say.
This never bode well.
I had this younger lady come in, maybe 17 at the oldest. She gave the line and the confession like a robot. No emotion.
She killed herself a day later.
"I tried slowing things down. Tried my hardest to explain to her what was wrong. She didn't get it. We argued. Screaming, slamming doors... I didn't know what to do.
I live alone now. I'm just starting to think that maybe there might be a good future for me.
But then I saw her, father. I saw her on the street next to this guy. He was everything wrong for her. Everything she said she hated. I just kind of broke, you know?
She replaced me with him. Everything about me that she told me she loved... she just gave it up.
I don't know what to do...?"
I sat and thought about this one. I had to give the right advice. He was on the edge and looking back one last time.
"She still loves you, my son. Anything like you she can no longer stand. If she picked up another guy like you, it would be like dating you. So she picked someone else. Someone different."
"But she's going to get hurt. I'm not going to be there to help her!"
"That may be. But it's her choice. Maybe God doesn't want you two together. Maybe he does. You can't rush his plan. Only go along with it."
I pushed him off that ledge. It wasn't what he wanted to hear.
He was found dead the next morning.
Even now, some 50 years later, I won't even forget him. There isn't much I can forget anymore.
-T.R.Jay