To help us. Not to, fuck us up.
My friend in-name-only, soopageek, is one of those cyclical types who should serve as a shining example to those who aren't serious about backing up data. Every few years, his storage fails and he has to go back to his tapes to upload his 30 or so TB of goatse and robot porn. Discontent and aimless while awaiting this lengthy backup procedure, and unable to devote processor time to his Leisure Suit Larry addiction, he reappears in this place, blogging a dead horse, extolling the virtues of adding boring people you've never met to the boring people already on your friends list, and looking through his albums trying to decide what cock photos are a mere few entries into the future.
And so it's happened once again. I always feel compelled to join him in this temporary iterative pointless exercise, until his disgraceful and illegal files are reinstated and he can crawl back to his virtual grot hole. Why? Perhaps it is because of our shared backgrounds in pointless academia and the transport industry. Perhaps it is because we are both published authors held in high regard. Perhaps it is because I am avoiding work and am not sleepy enough for a nap.
I myself believe this is an outdated form, like Audiogalaxy, or those pages that used to say "Best viewed in Internet Explorer 4.0". It reminds you of a different time, but so what? In popular triumph, I famously got the chick, so why would I want to hang around at the dating site? If I wanted to read the tedious random thoughts of a bunch of sad loners, bereft of humour and inspiration, I would simply unfilter all my friends' status updates on my Facebook page.
The only reason I never gave much voice to my opinions in this area is because I live in e-fear of being mistaken for circa-2004 lossfound who, despite having the best userpics that I can remember, would punctuate his rambling entries on fuel efficient motoring and broken 1970s music gear with Mussolini-esque rants about how LJ was finished, nobody was reading his shit, and nobody cared about anybody else, immune to the irony that 35 people then responded. This was of course in contrast to his other posts, which nobody read or can remember.
I live in a city where you simply cannot take for granted that two people travelling in different directions on a ten metre wide footpath will not collide, exchange insults, or otherwise negatively interact, since the majority of them are self-absorbed, sub-intellectual fuckwits who are only vaguely aware that others are around them. I address this by seething in anger most of my waking hours, and wearing noise-cancelling earphones.
Recently I was waiting at a corner for the lights to change when an elderly guy with a cane approached me, as I observed him approaching others from the other side of the street. He, presumably, mumbled something about could I give him some money. I have a policy on this. Every month, I give part of my salary to charitable causes that interest me. I am therefore not interested in unsolicited requests so, for example, when She needs five bucks for aspirin because she has a headache, she should have thought of that when walking past the ATM near the chemist.
Because I am not a complete bastard I paid him the courtesy of tapping my left earphone and saying "I can't hear you." Inexplicably, he kept speaking, slower and louder, so I tapped my left earphone again, slower this time, and in a louder voice, repeated, "I. CAN'T. HEAR. YOU." The lights changed and I crossed the street.
A woman who was watching this encounter took umbrage, I think, with what she percieved to be my rudeness and addressed me while crossing the street with some sentences that contained the word "selfish" and "rude". When she had stopped talking, I tapped my right earphone this time and enquired "Were you fucking listening? I. CAN'T. HEAR. YOU."
See? Sub-intellectual fuckwits.
And so it's happened once again. I always feel compelled to join him in this temporary iterative pointless exercise, until his disgraceful and illegal files are reinstated and he can crawl back to his virtual grot hole. Why? Perhaps it is because of our shared backgrounds in pointless academia and the transport industry. Perhaps it is because we are both published authors held in high regard. Perhaps it is because I am avoiding work and am not sleepy enough for a nap.
I myself believe this is an outdated form, like Audiogalaxy, or those pages that used to say "Best viewed in Internet Explorer 4.0". It reminds you of a different time, but so what? In popular triumph, I famously got the chick, so why would I want to hang around at the dating site? If I wanted to read the tedious random thoughts of a bunch of sad loners, bereft of humour and inspiration, I would simply unfilter all my friends' status updates on my Facebook page.
The only reason I never gave much voice to my opinions in this area is because I live in e-fear of being mistaken for circa-2004 lossfound who, despite having the best userpics that I can remember, would punctuate his rambling entries on fuel efficient motoring and broken 1970s music gear with Mussolini-esque rants about how LJ was finished, nobody was reading his shit, and nobody cared about anybody else, immune to the irony that 35 people then responded. This was of course in contrast to his other posts, which nobody read or can remember.
I live in a city where you simply cannot take for granted that two people travelling in different directions on a ten metre wide footpath will not collide, exchange insults, or otherwise negatively interact, since the majority of them are self-absorbed, sub-intellectual fuckwits who are only vaguely aware that others are around them. I address this by seething in anger most of my waking hours, and wearing noise-cancelling earphones.
Recently I was waiting at a corner for the lights to change when an elderly guy with a cane approached me, as I observed him approaching others from the other side of the street. He, presumably, mumbled something about could I give him some money. I have a policy on this. Every month, I give part of my salary to charitable causes that interest me. I am therefore not interested in unsolicited requests so, for example, when She needs five bucks for aspirin because she has a headache, she should have thought of that when walking past the ATM near the chemist.
Because I am not a complete bastard I paid him the courtesy of tapping my left earphone and saying "I can't hear you." Inexplicably, he kept speaking, slower and louder, so I tapped my left earphone again, slower this time, and in a louder voice, repeated, "I. CAN'T. HEAR. YOU." The lights changed and I crossed the street.
A woman who was watching this encounter took umbrage, I think, with what she percieved to be my rudeness and addressed me while crossing the street with some sentences that contained the word "selfish" and "rude". When she had stopped talking, I tapped my right earphone this time and enquired "Were you fucking listening? I. CAN'T. HEAR. YOU."
See? Sub-intellectual fuckwits.