Big brown pressure
I had a bad dream about my mother a few nights ago. I and W searched for her with "no good reason" after she'd gone hiking solo, and found her with a broken and mangled leg in an off track area. I was so incredibly relieved to find her. I woke up from that dream and clung shivering and limp to W for about an hour and a half before my alarm went off. I got up, began my normal morning routine, got most of the way through it then climbed back into bed with W and kept clinging some more until he got up an hour later. So, two and a half hours of clinging. I felt better for it, but still upset.
The problem was just stress from the current stage of the projects I'm managing. I was lying there in the dark with it feeling like a big brown pressure in the back of my head. The tricky thing was that that big brown pressure was spread out enough to stretch across the clear place in the back of my head where I get the useful pictures and information coming through. So I had this really strong feeling of impending doom and really bad stuff about to happen coming through on that channel as well, and I couldn't tell if this was cause or symptom. That was irritating. Especially as I couldn't second-guess it, and none of my "is this real" checks would differentiate between the two scenarios. So I got to just shrug and wait. Thankfully the day progressed as best it could, and nothing major went seriously wrong anywhere. It will all work out. And that feeling of impending doom faded once I got over the stress-shivers and got working again, so I figured I could put it down to just work stress, and the feed on that other channel as just a symptom and not a cause. Thank goodness.
The problem was just stress from the current stage of the projects I'm managing. I was lying there in the dark with it feeling like a big brown pressure in the back of my head. The tricky thing was that that big brown pressure was spread out enough to stretch across the clear place in the back of my head where I get the useful pictures and information coming through. So I had this really strong feeling of impending doom and really bad stuff about to happen coming through on that channel as well, and I couldn't tell if this was cause or symptom. That was irritating. Especially as I couldn't second-guess it, and none of my "is this real" checks would differentiate between the two scenarios. So I got to just shrug and wait. Thankfully the day progressed as best it could, and nothing major went seriously wrong anywhere. It will all work out. And that feeling of impending doom faded once I got over the stress-shivers and got working again, so I figured I could put it down to just work stress, and the feed on that other channel as just a symptom and not a cause. Thank goodness.