Knight Rankings
Taking a minute out of my post-Alternative Press Expo catchup to post something that, as usual, is strictly for my own amusement.
I think I've gotten everything I need out of Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, but having read the beginning and end of the book, I'm still slogging my way through the very tedious middle section. (Nominally this revolves around the adventures of Sir Tristram, but as far as I can tell it consists entirely of jousting.) As of this moment, here's a snapshot of my impressions of some major Arthurian characters.
Accolon: Surprisingly sympathetic.
Agravain: Gawain's least memorable brother.
Alisander: A chump.
Arthur: Just wants to be liked. Slightly pathetic.
Balin le Savage: My favorite.
Breuse Saunce Pite: Best name.
Dinadan: Apparently more accomplished as a satirical poet than as a knight.
Gaheris: Gawain's second least memorable brother, distinguished by Oedipal murder of mommy.
Galahad: A fucking bore.
Gareth: Of the beautiful hands. Really gets a raw deal at the end of the story.
Gawain: Flawed and fascinating. Probably the most developed character in the whole sorry saga.
Guinevere: Kind of a bitch. A character ripe for reimagining.
Isolde: Passive trophy girl.
Kay: Kind of a bumbling dick, and thus funny.
Lamorak: One of the three great knights of the Arthurian era, but now completely forgotten.
Lancelot: A problematic example of greatness. I'll never forgive him for killing Gareth.
Lynette: The bitchiest damosel in the world. A pity she didn't end up with Gareth.
Merlin: Weirdo.
Morded: Craven opportunist.
Morgan le Fay: Kind of awesome. A rock 'n' roll femme fatale who gets away with it.
Morgause: Unhappy ending to an undistinguished career.
Nimue: Also kind of awesome, and apparently super hot. Serves Merlin right.
Palomides: The Good Saracen. Highly entertaining.
Pellam: The Fisher King, and a dick.
Pellinore: Another favorite. Mighty giant, hopeless pursuer of Questing Beast, apparently killed offscreen by Gawain's posse.
Percival: Yeah, whatever.
Questing Beast: Surreal awesomeness!
Sagramore le Desirous: Second best name after Breuse Saunce Pite.
Tristram: If you ask me, a raging asshole.
Granted, King Mark of Cornwall is such a mustache-twirling villain that you can't really root for either side in his extended Saul-versus-David feud with Sir Tristram. But I'm finding myself surprisingly sympathetic to the vendettas that Gawain and his brothers wage against the other great knights of the Arthurian era.
I think I've gotten everything I need out of Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, but having read the beginning and end of the book, I'm still slogging my way through the very tedious middle section. (Nominally this revolves around the adventures of Sir Tristram, but as far as I can tell it consists entirely of jousting.) As of this moment, here's a snapshot of my impressions of some major Arthurian characters.
Accolon: Surprisingly sympathetic.
Agravain: Gawain's least memorable brother.
Alisander: A chump.
Arthur: Just wants to be liked. Slightly pathetic.
Balin le Savage: My favorite.
Breuse Saunce Pite: Best name.
Dinadan: Apparently more accomplished as a satirical poet than as a knight.
Gaheris: Gawain's second least memorable brother, distinguished by Oedipal murder of mommy.
Galahad: A fucking bore.
Gareth: Of the beautiful hands. Really gets a raw deal at the end of the story.
Gawain: Flawed and fascinating. Probably the most developed character in the whole sorry saga.
Guinevere: Kind of a bitch. A character ripe for reimagining.
Isolde: Passive trophy girl.
Kay: Kind of a bumbling dick, and thus funny.
Lamorak: One of the three great knights of the Arthurian era, but now completely forgotten.
Lancelot: A problematic example of greatness. I'll never forgive him for killing Gareth.
Lynette: The bitchiest damosel in the world. A pity she didn't end up with Gareth.
Merlin: Weirdo.
Morded: Craven opportunist.
Morgan le Fay: Kind of awesome. A rock 'n' roll femme fatale who gets away with it.
Morgause: Unhappy ending to an undistinguished career.
Nimue: Also kind of awesome, and apparently super hot. Serves Merlin right.
Palomides: The Good Saracen. Highly entertaining.
Pellam: The Fisher King, and a dick.
Pellinore: Another favorite. Mighty giant, hopeless pursuer of Questing Beast, apparently killed offscreen by Gawain's posse.
Percival: Yeah, whatever.
Questing Beast: Surreal awesomeness!
Sagramore le Desirous: Second best name after Breuse Saunce Pite.
Tristram: If you ask me, a raging asshole.
Granted, King Mark of Cornwall is such a mustache-twirling villain that you can't really root for either side in his extended Saul-versus-David feud with Sir Tristram. But I'm finding myself surprisingly sympathetic to the vendettas that Gawain and his brothers wage against the other great knights of the Arthurian era.