I hate it when girls break your heart and then you're the bad guy
Sport10013: u leaving again?
XAntiSerumX: nope wassup
XAntiSerumX: im chillin wiht drew
XAntiSerumX: playing pool
Sport10013: 2 exams down, one to go
Sport10013: i mean 2
Sport10013: just took my english
XAntiSerumX: coo
XAntiSerumX: u coming down for the summer?
Sport10013: do you ever listen to anything i tell you????
Sport10013: i told you several times im not coming home until august
XAntiSerumX: oh, im sorry
Sport10013: im taking summer semester at fsu, and i told you i got into the new dorms on campus there
XAntiSerumX: i know
XAntiSerumX: chill
XAntiSerumX: my bad
Sport10013: nvm dave, sorry i imed you
XAntiSerumX: why are you always getting so pissed at me
XAntiSerumX: im sorry it slipped my mind
XAntiSerumX: im human oyu know
Sport10013: not that it matters, but you are never ready to listen to me
Sport10013: if i were someone you had a crush on
Sport10013: or if i were leah, or andrea
Sport10013: maybe you would take more of an interest
XAntiSerumX: thast not true
Sport10013: yes it is,
Sport10013: once i ended us going out how long did it take for you to talk to me?
XAntiSerumX: i was hurt
Sport10013: and how much have we talked in the last few months?
XAntiSerumX: not much
Sport10013: im just not in any part of your life anymore
Sport10013: thats it, its a fact
XAntiSerumX: im not part of yours either
XAntiSerumX: just becaue of that doesnt mean we're not friends
Sport10013: you could of been if you didnt call me when it was convenient for you, i mean ive posted on your journal
Sport10013: it kind of does
Sport10013: a friend doesnt flake out on someone that much
XAntiSerumX: im not flaking out we live in 2 different cities
XAntiSerumX: and i called you that one time and you spent the whole time talking to joe
Sport10013: honey how much did we talk when i loved like 3 thousand miles away in nyc??
Sport10013: like almost every day
Sport10013: dont pull that we live in diff cities bs
Sport10013: you talk to andrea how much?
Sport10013: shes in a diff city too
XAntiSerumX: exaclty, but we were together, now we're friends, its different
XAntiSerumX: i barely talk to andrea
XAntiSerumX: that doesnt mean we're not friends
Sport10013: what is a friend to you?
Sport10013: were more like vague acquaintences at best
XAntiSerumX: someone that you care for, you dont necesarily talk to them everyday, but if you needed anything they would be there for you as they would be there for you
Sport10013:
XAntiSerumX: as you would be there for them i mean
Sport10013: i dont know dave
Sport10013: i havent felt like your friend since we broke up
XAntiSerumX: well why do you think that is?
Sport10013: bc youve distanced yourself from me so much
Sport10013: its like you got what you wanted by dating me for a while, and that was it
Sport10013: you were done with me
XAntiSerumX: oh really? and what did i get out of dsating you?
XAntiSerumX: you broke up with me remember?
Sport10013: if sex is all you think you need to get out of a relationship than thats pretty fucked up dave
XAntiSerumX: i didnt say that
XAntiSerumX: obvisouly thats your perception of what i think
Sport10013: ok then
XAntiSerumX: i want you to tell me what it is i got out of you
Sport10013: you ask what you got out of it
Sport10013: ill give you a little insight
Sport10013: i was faithful for the months that we were together when i lived in a dorm in nyc
XAntiSerumX: so wa si
Sport10013: thats a damn long distance
Sport10013: we each had the proper titles
Sport10013: if its what you claimed you had been after since freshman year
Sport10013: then you got me lock stock and barrel for the time we actually were togethetr
Sport10013: i really enjoyed it
XAntiSerumX: i ahevnt seen that movie
Sport10013: but it was a huge mistake bc look at where we are now
Sport10013: im not talking about the f'in movie
XAntiSerumX: well everythign was fine and dandy right? and then you broke up with me because i was too affectionate to you , that was BS , definitely a sound reason to break up with me, you could have just talked to me
XAntiSerumX: and now youre saying that i wanted sex out of you
Sport10013: i had been
XAntiSerumX: i dont care about that shit
Sport10013: i tried dave
Sport10013: but then you would try to be all kissy
Sport10013: i had a nervous breakdown in nyc
XAntiSerumX: i didnt go out with y0ou because of your appereance or sex, i wanted you because i thought ui were an awesome person
Sport10013: i would come to my dorm room and talk to you everynight
Sport10013: that would make my day so much better
Sport10013: maybe i realized we were more dynamic as friends
Sport10013: bc what i thought we could have romantically wasnt what happened
Sport10013: the way you were that night when i left in august was how i thought you would be when i got home
Sport10013: it was the opposite, i understand you were happy to see me
XAntiSerumX: well i would have been
Sport10013: but at the same time i had a lot of shit going on
XAntiSerumX: maybe i should have played it more cool
XAntiSerumX: well we all have shit going on jess
Sport10013: no kidding dave
XAntiSerumX: and yeah maybe i camne on a little strong when you came down
XAntiSerumX: but im human i make mistakes
Sport10013: i know that
Sport10013: but why did you have to cut yourself in front of me?
XAntiSerumX: you should hjave known how i was , i was your friend and just 3 days were enough for you to think iwas a different person
Sport10013: tahts where you really hurt me
XAntiSerumX: i explained the whole balance scenario
XAntiSerumX: thats why i went in the bathroom
Sport10013: for you to appear that needy
XAntiSerumX: away from you
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt about you
Sport10013: doesnt that make my reason more plausible?
XAntiSerumX: it was about my life being shitty at the time and the one good thing in it being you
Sport10013: oh, then why did you do it so near to the breakup?
XAntiSerumX: and then having that thing taken away
Sport10013: i understand that dave
Sport10013: but nobody is ever worth taht much
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt oyu the person
Sport10013: you could of asked my reason for doing it a little diff then how you did
XAntiSerumX: it was the symbol of happiness that you represented
Sport10013: see, it wasnt even me that you were upset to love
Sport10013: lose
Sport10013: it was the metaphysical me
Sport10013: i was never even involved in all that
XAntiSerumX: yeah you were
Sport10013: so you dated the thought of me for 2 months
XAntiSerumX: it was teh symbol of happiness that made me cut myself though
XAntiSerumX: dont you think i look at the scars on my arms and regret them?
Sport10013: dave i cant look at your livejournal without regret
XAntiSerumX: regret for what?
Sport10013: everytime i look at it its like a slap in the face
Sport10013: regret for dating you, and letting down my guard
Sport10013: i let you have a bit of what you thought you wanted
Sport10013: but i didnt consider that you only wanted to date me
Sport10013: not befriend me
XAntiSerumX: now that is not true
Sport10013: and after we broke up i realized we would never be the same
XAntiSerumX: because i was still your friend at the times i didnt like you
Sport10013: and our friendship would never be mended
Sport10013: i dont think so dave
Sport10013: a friend does not tell the whole class about me losing my virginity
Sport10013: after i whispered it to you in confidence
Sport10013: you thought i was a joke
XAntiSerumX: i dind tsay it to the whole class
XAntiSerumX: no i was just jpoking around
XAntiSerumX: you always take things the wrong way
Sport10013: oh you just said it to the kid with the biggesat mouth
XAntiSerumX: i didnt emant to hurt you, if you know me you would know that
Sport10013: its not taking it the wrong way when you ask the person not to say anything
Sport10013: and they do the opposite right in front of you
Sport10013: see there you go with the if you knew me you would know that
Sport10013: dammit dave if that is the real you why have you never let me see that side???
Sport10013: i have always been upfront with you
Sport10013: you always mask yourself from me
Sport10013: and act like someone else
Sport10013: if i dont know you than its your fault for not showing me
XAntiSerumX: how do i mask myself?
Sport10013: drugs, friends, strories
Sport10013: stories
Sport10013: you never shared anything about what you read in books with me
Sport10013: i love to read
Sport10013: did you not notice that weekend i came down the shock on my face when you said that eng book was yours?
Sport10013: i had no idea
XAntiSerumX: yeah i know
Sport10013: you never let me see it
XAntiSerumX: i enjoy things
Sport10013: then by knowing that why didnt you say something???
XAntiSerumX: but its not in my personality to talk about books and readings and deep stuff like you said all teh time
Sport10013: did you not think that maybe those things you kept hidden from me were the things i found most attractive in you?
XAntiSerumX: most of the time i just want to be a kid and have fun
Sport10013: im not saying all the time
XAntiSerumX: but those times didi come
Sport10013: you NEVER did
Sport10013: not with me
XAntiSerumX: but you cant just force them out of me
XAntiSerumX: not if you pressured me
Sport10013: im not forcing anything
XAntiSerumX: or maybe you didnt ask the right way
Sport10013: but if you knew i was into those things why didnt you take it upon yourself to implement those things into the convos every once in a while to make me happy?
Sport10013: why do you think i talked about my networking class so much?
Sport10013: for your benefit bc you said you enjoyed it
Sport10013: and i shouldnt have to ask
Sport10013: if you truly care about the person
Sport10013: its your own initiative taht brings these subjects to life
Sport10013: you ever had fun doing something nerdy?
Sport10013: and dont say no i know you have
Sport10013: you can have fun, in the kids sense, and do other things
Sport10013: its called choice
Sport10013: and this revelation you had about your life
XAntiSerumX: i know
Sport10013: i discovered that months ago
XAntiSerumX: what revelation>?
Sport10013: when i decided to recognize that happiness isnt getting drunk with everyone
Sport10013: its making yourself happy first
Sport10013: thats why im not dependent on anyone
XAntiSerumX: thast good
Sport10013: yes i smoke still every once in a while
Sport10013: but i know what makes me happy
Sport10013: if what makes you happy is partying all the time then so be it
Sport10013: there are plenty of other things you can be doing with yourself that can be fun
XAntiSerumX: i knwo that
XAntiSerumX: i dont do drugs barely anymore
Sport10013: i just dont get you
XAntiSerumX: and im ahppy now
XAntiSerumX: what do you want out fo me, thats what i want to know
XAntiSerumX: i told you what my definition of friendship is, i consider you a friend
XAntiSerumX: yeah it hurt me how we broke up buit im totally over that
Sport10013: if i didnt care about you i wouldnt try so hard to rationalize everything that has happened and is happening
Sport10013: im not over what happened in oct
Sport10013: it ruined us dave
Sport10013: you killed a bit of me
Sport10013: im glad youre over it though
XAntiSerumX: and you shattered my heart
Sport10013: dave im here and always will be, but like i said before you showed me that you were only one dimensional
Sport10013: that brain you have you hid from me
Sport10013: when you knew how much i admired it
Sport10013: you never fully gave yourself to me
Sport10013: how many convos from new york to fl did we go through where i did most of the talking
Sport10013: doesnt that tell you something?
Sport10013: where whose interest was ?
XAntiSerumX: dont say that you ahd mroe interest than i did
XAntiSerumX: i liked you so much
XAntiSerumX: even after you left i had the pictures we took on my wall
XAntiSerumX: i stiall have them up some of tehm
Sport10013: i know that, but how can you date someone where you do all the talking?
Sport10013: unless its all physical
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt physiscal at all
XAntiSerumX: thats the point im trying to make
Sport10013: youre not getting what im saying
Sport10013: could you date someone where you hear only yourself talking when youre out with each other?
Sport10013: or over the phone?
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt all you
Sport10013: you never told me what was going on IN your classes
Sport10013: i did
Sport10013: you encouraged me to, but you didnt care to talk about it
XAntiSerumX: im sorry i was ussually not in the oood
Sport10013: well isnt that nice
Sport10013: i guess i just wasnt in the mood to date someone who only cared about "having a good time"
Sport10013: and "just being a kid"
XAntiSerumX: well tehn what are you complaining about
XAntiSerumX: listen jess i love you you are my friend , you need to get over thate fact that we dated, realize youre the one that broke up wiht me and i ahd to deal wit thatnb and get over it
XAntiSerumX: that is why i am at teh stage i am now
Sport10013: its not worth it dave, you dont understand what im saying and maybe never will
XAntiSerumX: then tell me flat out
XAntiSerumX: what are you saying no beating around the bush
XAntiSerumX: ina few sentences
XAntiSerumX: say it
Sport10013: im not over the face that you are the way you are about only certain things
Sport10013: lol say what?
XAntiSerumX: what you want me to getr
Sport10013: that you cant take people for granted
Sport10013: like you have been
Sport10013: knowing drugs are bad for you is nothing you didnt already know
Sport10013: your priorities are so askew
XAntiSerumX: so you think i take you for granted
Sport10013: yep
XAntiSerumX: im sorry i dont call youeveryday
XAntiSerumX: but the phone works both ways
Sport10013: oh geez
XAntiSerumX: so its not entirely my fault
Sport10013: i dont need you to call me everyday
Sport10013: but likewise
Sport10013: you fucking moved
Sport10013: how the hell am i supposed to reach you?
XAntiSerumX: ive had my cell phone for months
Sport10013: you called the number where im staying before
Sport10013: you always use that as an excuse
Sport10013: nm just forget about this convo, youwill in 20 minutes anyway
XAntiSerumX: stop it
XAntiSerumX: 754-368-7984
XAntiSerumX: now you have my number
Sport10013: either that or you will write me off in your head as something that isnt significant
Sport10013: or im just a bitch
XAntiSerumX: no thast not it
XAntiSerumX: i dont get why youre coming at me wiht all of this when to me we're cool
XAntiSerumX: but obviosuly to you we arent
Sport10013: yeah like the night we had broken up you flaunted leah in front of me
Sport10013: you hurt me to help yourself feel better
Sport10013: and in turn you created something else out of it
Sport10013: friends dont do that
Sport10013: thats why i dont know if i consider you a friend
Sport10013: that was childish
XAntiSerumX: it was but i was hurt
XAntiSerumX: it isnt an excuse i know
XAntiSerumX: it was just a reaction
Sport10013: i know that
Sport10013: but you just went from there
Sport10013: and it never got better from how you started treating me that night
Sport10013: like when i came down in feb
Sport10013: you only were happy to hear from leah
Sport10013: you were terrible with me
Sport10013: obviously i was happy to see you
XAntiSerumX: it was awkward
Sport10013: and you showed me nothing
Sport10013: then why offer to pick me up?
XAntiSerumX: well what did youwant me to do
XAntiSerumX: go back as if nothign ahd happened and be like i was before i left?
XAntiSerumX: maybe if you hadnt given me such a bullshit excuse and not been secure enough as to why i liked you so much then you would have hurt me as you did
Sport10013: yes, look at it that way
XAntiSerumX: wouldnt*
Sport10013: beautiful
Sport10013: thats perfect
Sport10013: maybe we shouldnt talk anymore
Sport10013: like ever
XAntiSerumX: stop it
XAntiSerumX: why are you being like that
XAntiSerumX: cant we look past waht happened before and start freshg?
Sport10013: yeah ive tried that before
Sport10013: you have to be willing though
Sport10013: and i dont think you ever will
XAntiSerumX: i am
XAntiSerumX: i told you already
XAntiSerumX: im over it , done wiht thenpast and the crappy shit in it
Sport10013: thats good for you
Sport10013: room for new friends
Sport10013: goodbye dave
XAntiSerumX: im happy you can just throw away 4years of hgh scholl like that
XAntiSerumX: high school
XAntiSerumX: bye bye
Sport10013: out of high school you see what people are really like
Sport10013: i loved you as a friend
Sport10013: i hate what youve become
Sport10013 signed off at 7:40:41 PM.
XAntiSerumX: nope wassup
XAntiSerumX: im chillin wiht drew
XAntiSerumX: playing pool
Sport10013: 2 exams down, one to go
Sport10013: i mean 2
Sport10013: just took my english
XAntiSerumX: coo
XAntiSerumX: u coming down for the summer?
Sport10013: do you ever listen to anything i tell you????
Sport10013: i told you several times im not coming home until august
XAntiSerumX: oh, im sorry
Sport10013: im taking summer semester at fsu, and i told you i got into the new dorms on campus there
XAntiSerumX: i know
XAntiSerumX: chill
XAntiSerumX: my bad
Sport10013: nvm dave, sorry i imed you
XAntiSerumX: why are you always getting so pissed at me
XAntiSerumX: im sorry it slipped my mind
XAntiSerumX: im human oyu know
Sport10013: not that it matters, but you are never ready to listen to me
Sport10013: if i were someone you had a crush on
Sport10013: or if i were leah, or andrea
Sport10013: maybe you would take more of an interest
XAntiSerumX: thast not true
Sport10013: yes it is,
Sport10013: once i ended us going out how long did it take for you to talk to me?
XAntiSerumX: i was hurt
Sport10013: and how much have we talked in the last few months?
XAntiSerumX: not much
Sport10013: im just not in any part of your life anymore
Sport10013: thats it, its a fact
XAntiSerumX: im not part of yours either
XAntiSerumX: just becaue of that doesnt mean we're not friends
Sport10013: you could of been if you didnt call me when it was convenient for you, i mean ive posted on your journal
Sport10013: it kind of does
Sport10013: a friend doesnt flake out on someone that much
XAntiSerumX: im not flaking out we live in 2 different cities
XAntiSerumX: and i called you that one time and you spent the whole time talking to joe
Sport10013: honey how much did we talk when i loved like 3 thousand miles away in nyc??
Sport10013: like almost every day
Sport10013: dont pull that we live in diff cities bs
Sport10013: you talk to andrea how much?
Sport10013: shes in a diff city too
XAntiSerumX: exaclty, but we were together, now we're friends, its different
XAntiSerumX: i barely talk to andrea
XAntiSerumX: that doesnt mean we're not friends
Sport10013: what is a friend to you?
Sport10013: were more like vague acquaintences at best
XAntiSerumX: someone that you care for, you dont necesarily talk to them everyday, but if you needed anything they would be there for you as they would be there for you
Sport10013:
XAntiSerumX: as you would be there for them i mean
Sport10013: i dont know dave
Sport10013: i havent felt like your friend since we broke up
XAntiSerumX: well why do you think that is?
Sport10013: bc youve distanced yourself from me so much
Sport10013: its like you got what you wanted by dating me for a while, and that was it
Sport10013: you were done with me
XAntiSerumX: oh really? and what did i get out of dsating you?
XAntiSerumX: you broke up with me remember?
Sport10013: if sex is all you think you need to get out of a relationship than thats pretty fucked up dave
XAntiSerumX: i didnt say that
XAntiSerumX: obvisouly thats your perception of what i think
Sport10013: ok then
XAntiSerumX: i want you to tell me what it is i got out of you
Sport10013: you ask what you got out of it
Sport10013: ill give you a little insight
Sport10013: i was faithful for the months that we were together when i lived in a dorm in nyc
XAntiSerumX: so wa si
Sport10013: thats a damn long distance
Sport10013: we each had the proper titles
Sport10013: if its what you claimed you had been after since freshman year
Sport10013: then you got me lock stock and barrel for the time we actually were togethetr
Sport10013: i really enjoyed it
XAntiSerumX: i ahevnt seen that movie
Sport10013: but it was a huge mistake bc look at where we are now
Sport10013: im not talking about the f'in movie
XAntiSerumX: well everythign was fine and dandy right? and then you broke up with me because i was too affectionate to you , that was BS , definitely a sound reason to break up with me, you could have just talked to me
XAntiSerumX: and now youre saying that i wanted sex out of you
Sport10013: i had been
XAntiSerumX: i dont care about that shit
Sport10013: i tried dave
Sport10013: but then you would try to be all kissy
Sport10013: i had a nervous breakdown in nyc
XAntiSerumX: i didnt go out with y0ou because of your appereance or sex, i wanted you because i thought ui were an awesome person
Sport10013: i would come to my dorm room and talk to you everynight
Sport10013: that would make my day so much better
Sport10013: maybe i realized we were more dynamic as friends
Sport10013: bc what i thought we could have romantically wasnt what happened
Sport10013: the way you were that night when i left in august was how i thought you would be when i got home
Sport10013: it was the opposite, i understand you were happy to see me
XAntiSerumX: well i would have been
Sport10013: but at the same time i had a lot of shit going on
XAntiSerumX: maybe i should have played it more cool
XAntiSerumX: well we all have shit going on jess
Sport10013: no kidding dave
XAntiSerumX: and yeah maybe i camne on a little strong when you came down
XAntiSerumX: but im human i make mistakes
Sport10013: i know that
Sport10013: but why did you have to cut yourself in front of me?
XAntiSerumX: you should hjave known how i was , i was your friend and just 3 days were enough for you to think iwas a different person
Sport10013: tahts where you really hurt me
XAntiSerumX: i explained the whole balance scenario
XAntiSerumX: thats why i went in the bathroom
Sport10013: for you to appear that needy
XAntiSerumX: away from you
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt about you
Sport10013: doesnt that make my reason more plausible?
XAntiSerumX: it was about my life being shitty at the time and the one good thing in it being you
Sport10013: oh, then why did you do it so near to the breakup?
XAntiSerumX: and then having that thing taken away
Sport10013: i understand that dave
Sport10013: but nobody is ever worth taht much
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt oyu the person
Sport10013: you could of asked my reason for doing it a little diff then how you did
XAntiSerumX: it was the symbol of happiness that you represented
Sport10013: see, it wasnt even me that you were upset to love
Sport10013: lose
Sport10013: it was the metaphysical me
Sport10013: i was never even involved in all that
XAntiSerumX: yeah you were
Sport10013: so you dated the thought of me for 2 months
XAntiSerumX: it was teh symbol of happiness that made me cut myself though
XAntiSerumX: dont you think i look at the scars on my arms and regret them?
Sport10013: dave i cant look at your livejournal without regret
XAntiSerumX: regret for what?
Sport10013: everytime i look at it its like a slap in the face
Sport10013: regret for dating you, and letting down my guard
Sport10013: i let you have a bit of what you thought you wanted
Sport10013: but i didnt consider that you only wanted to date me
Sport10013: not befriend me
XAntiSerumX: now that is not true
Sport10013: and after we broke up i realized we would never be the same
XAntiSerumX: because i was still your friend at the times i didnt like you
Sport10013: and our friendship would never be mended
Sport10013: i dont think so dave
Sport10013: a friend does not tell the whole class about me losing my virginity
Sport10013: after i whispered it to you in confidence
Sport10013: you thought i was a joke
XAntiSerumX: i dind tsay it to the whole class
XAntiSerumX: no i was just jpoking around
XAntiSerumX: you always take things the wrong way
Sport10013: oh you just said it to the kid with the biggesat mouth
XAntiSerumX: i didnt emant to hurt you, if you know me you would know that
Sport10013: its not taking it the wrong way when you ask the person not to say anything
Sport10013: and they do the opposite right in front of you
Sport10013: see there you go with the if you knew me you would know that
Sport10013: dammit dave if that is the real you why have you never let me see that side???
Sport10013: i have always been upfront with you
Sport10013: you always mask yourself from me
Sport10013: and act like someone else
Sport10013: if i dont know you than its your fault for not showing me
XAntiSerumX: how do i mask myself?
Sport10013: drugs, friends, strories
Sport10013: stories
Sport10013: you never shared anything about what you read in books with me
Sport10013: i love to read
Sport10013: did you not notice that weekend i came down the shock on my face when you said that eng book was yours?
Sport10013: i had no idea
XAntiSerumX: yeah i know
Sport10013: you never let me see it
XAntiSerumX: i enjoy things
Sport10013: then by knowing that why didnt you say something???
XAntiSerumX: but its not in my personality to talk about books and readings and deep stuff like you said all teh time
Sport10013: did you not think that maybe those things you kept hidden from me were the things i found most attractive in you?
XAntiSerumX: most of the time i just want to be a kid and have fun
Sport10013: im not saying all the time
XAntiSerumX: but those times didi come
Sport10013: you NEVER did
Sport10013: not with me
XAntiSerumX: but you cant just force them out of me
XAntiSerumX: not if you pressured me
Sport10013: im not forcing anything
XAntiSerumX: or maybe you didnt ask the right way
Sport10013: but if you knew i was into those things why didnt you take it upon yourself to implement those things into the convos every once in a while to make me happy?
Sport10013: why do you think i talked about my networking class so much?
Sport10013: for your benefit bc you said you enjoyed it
Sport10013: and i shouldnt have to ask
Sport10013: if you truly care about the person
Sport10013: its your own initiative taht brings these subjects to life
Sport10013: you ever had fun doing something nerdy?
Sport10013: and dont say no i know you have
Sport10013: you can have fun, in the kids sense, and do other things
Sport10013: its called choice
Sport10013: and this revelation you had about your life
XAntiSerumX: i know
Sport10013: i discovered that months ago
XAntiSerumX: what revelation>?
Sport10013: when i decided to recognize that happiness isnt getting drunk with everyone
Sport10013: its making yourself happy first
Sport10013: thats why im not dependent on anyone
XAntiSerumX: thast good
Sport10013: yes i smoke still every once in a while
Sport10013: but i know what makes me happy
Sport10013: if what makes you happy is partying all the time then so be it
Sport10013: there are plenty of other things you can be doing with yourself that can be fun
XAntiSerumX: i knwo that
XAntiSerumX: i dont do drugs barely anymore
Sport10013: i just dont get you
XAntiSerumX: and im ahppy now
XAntiSerumX: what do you want out fo me, thats what i want to know
XAntiSerumX: i told you what my definition of friendship is, i consider you a friend
XAntiSerumX: yeah it hurt me how we broke up buit im totally over that
Sport10013: if i didnt care about you i wouldnt try so hard to rationalize everything that has happened and is happening
Sport10013: im not over what happened in oct
Sport10013: it ruined us dave
Sport10013: you killed a bit of me
Sport10013: im glad youre over it though
XAntiSerumX: and you shattered my heart
Sport10013: dave im here and always will be, but like i said before you showed me that you were only one dimensional
Sport10013: that brain you have you hid from me
Sport10013: when you knew how much i admired it
Sport10013: you never fully gave yourself to me
Sport10013: how many convos from new york to fl did we go through where i did most of the talking
Sport10013: doesnt that tell you something?
Sport10013: where whose interest was ?
XAntiSerumX: dont say that you ahd mroe interest than i did
XAntiSerumX: i liked you so much
XAntiSerumX: even after you left i had the pictures we took on my wall
XAntiSerumX: i stiall have them up some of tehm
Sport10013: i know that, but how can you date someone where you do all the talking?
Sport10013: unless its all physical
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt physiscal at all
XAntiSerumX: thats the point im trying to make
Sport10013: youre not getting what im saying
Sport10013: could you date someone where you hear only yourself talking when youre out with each other?
Sport10013: or over the phone?
XAntiSerumX: it wasnt all you
Sport10013: you never told me what was going on IN your classes
Sport10013: i did
Sport10013: you encouraged me to, but you didnt care to talk about it
XAntiSerumX: im sorry i was ussually not in the oood
Sport10013: well isnt that nice
Sport10013: i guess i just wasnt in the mood to date someone who only cared about "having a good time"
Sport10013: and "just being a kid"
XAntiSerumX: well tehn what are you complaining about
XAntiSerumX: listen jess i love you you are my friend , you need to get over thate fact that we dated, realize youre the one that broke up wiht me and i ahd to deal wit thatnb and get over it
XAntiSerumX: that is why i am at teh stage i am now
Sport10013: its not worth it dave, you dont understand what im saying and maybe never will
XAntiSerumX: then tell me flat out
XAntiSerumX: what are you saying no beating around the bush
XAntiSerumX: ina few sentences
XAntiSerumX: say it
Sport10013: im not over the face that you are the way you are about only certain things
Sport10013: lol say what?
XAntiSerumX: what you want me to getr
Sport10013: that you cant take people for granted
Sport10013: like you have been
Sport10013: knowing drugs are bad for you is nothing you didnt already know
Sport10013: your priorities are so askew
XAntiSerumX: so you think i take you for granted
Sport10013: yep
XAntiSerumX: im sorry i dont call youeveryday
XAntiSerumX: but the phone works both ways
Sport10013: oh geez
XAntiSerumX: so its not entirely my fault
Sport10013: i dont need you to call me everyday
Sport10013: but likewise
Sport10013: you fucking moved
Sport10013: how the hell am i supposed to reach you?
XAntiSerumX: ive had my cell phone for months
Sport10013: you called the number where im staying before
Sport10013: you always use that as an excuse
Sport10013: nm just forget about this convo, youwill in 20 minutes anyway
XAntiSerumX: stop it
XAntiSerumX: 754-368-7984
XAntiSerumX: now you have my number
Sport10013: either that or you will write me off in your head as something that isnt significant
Sport10013: or im just a bitch
XAntiSerumX: no thast not it
XAntiSerumX: i dont get why youre coming at me wiht all of this when to me we're cool
XAntiSerumX: but obviosuly to you we arent
Sport10013: yeah like the night we had broken up you flaunted leah in front of me
Sport10013: you hurt me to help yourself feel better
Sport10013: and in turn you created something else out of it
Sport10013: friends dont do that
Sport10013: thats why i dont know if i consider you a friend
Sport10013: that was childish
XAntiSerumX: it was but i was hurt
XAntiSerumX: it isnt an excuse i know
XAntiSerumX: it was just a reaction
Sport10013: i know that
Sport10013: but you just went from there
Sport10013: and it never got better from how you started treating me that night
Sport10013: like when i came down in feb
Sport10013: you only were happy to hear from leah
Sport10013: you were terrible with me
Sport10013: obviously i was happy to see you
XAntiSerumX: it was awkward
Sport10013: and you showed me nothing
Sport10013: then why offer to pick me up?
XAntiSerumX: well what did youwant me to do
XAntiSerumX: go back as if nothign ahd happened and be like i was before i left?
XAntiSerumX: maybe if you hadnt given me such a bullshit excuse and not been secure enough as to why i liked you so much then you would have hurt me as you did
Sport10013: yes, look at it that way
XAntiSerumX: wouldnt*
Sport10013: beautiful
Sport10013: thats perfect
Sport10013: maybe we shouldnt talk anymore
Sport10013: like ever
XAntiSerumX: stop it
XAntiSerumX: why are you being like that
XAntiSerumX: cant we look past waht happened before and start freshg?
Sport10013: yeah ive tried that before
Sport10013: you have to be willing though
Sport10013: and i dont think you ever will
XAntiSerumX: i am
XAntiSerumX: i told you already
XAntiSerumX: im over it , done wiht thenpast and the crappy shit in it
Sport10013: thats good for you
Sport10013: room for new friends
Sport10013: goodbye dave
XAntiSerumX: im happy you can just throw away 4years of hgh scholl like that
XAntiSerumX: high school
XAntiSerumX: bye bye
Sport10013: out of high school you see what people are really like
Sport10013: i loved you as a friend
Sport10013: i hate what youve become
Sport10013 signed off at 7:40:41 PM.