They Killed Kenny!
And here I bring you a few days in the life of Sim Kenny.
And this is Kenny. Outside of his crappy apartment, with a dead tree. But hey, it's not a shack, now is it?
Good morning Kenny. Ready for disappointment and blow jobs?
Canned soup for breakfast, yum. It's cold, by the way since either A, Kenny was too lazy to heat this up, or B, his power was shut off.
Video games! No need to actually get dressed yet.
Because you're a poor piece of shit, all of the things you own are pieces of shit. Just try getting that dresser to open.
He does manage it in the end, but ends up on his ass.
Pay those bills. Like a boss. Your own boss; because you have no job. Time to fix that.
Look at who has a job at the local stripclub. Hey, bills to be payed. Food to be bought, water and electricity to be had.
Talk to yourself, lonely motherfucker. Or are you talking to Mr. Ducksworth of Bathington? Either way, you seem kinda... not sane.
Starving! Food! YES, THERE IS ACTUALLY FOOD. FUCK YEAH!
And back to bed, you lazy bastard.
Time to get up. You've been sleeping for ever.
It took ages to get him out of bed. Like pulling teeth.
Shower, you dirty, dirty boy.
Reading? Reading?!
Don't have a heart attack anyone, it's "erotica". Also known as "porn".
And after the fap session, off to work in your co-workers crappy car. But at least he has a car, Kenny.
RUN, FUCKER, RUN OR YOU'LL BE LATE. AND YOUR BOSS WILL FIRE YOU.
Made it. This time. But they'll be waiting...
Waffles for breakfast. Blackened, charred waffles. Yum. Retry y/n?
Hopefully second time's the charm. Can't afford to make this many waffles.
There was success.
You don't need to know what his hands are doing here.
After a quick shower to wash off the evidence there, we discover that his cheap-ass shower is broken. Damn.
Pickin' up chicks at the bar. She's hot. Boobs, ass. Name?
Come a little closer there... *wink* So, wanna have a good time tonight?
She didn't, but hey, you have her number.
But this isn't it. This is a phone sex line.
And this is work. The guy in the bed, by the way, is Kenny's boss. He didn't end up getting that fucking bonus, though.
Goddamnit.
Trying to pick up guys this time. More luck? No. Not even a number this time.
No, Kenny, hitting on the bartender won't get you free drinks. You've had enough of them anyways, I'm pretty sure. You also don't have the money to buy more.
Yes, you're sexy. Now get off the bar and go home. You're drunk Kenny, and this isn't a strip-club. It's just a regular club. Go home.
Really... go home, Kenny.
And this is Kenny. Outside of his crappy apartment, with a dead tree. But hey, it's not a shack, now is it?
Good morning Kenny. Ready for disappointment and blow jobs?
Canned soup for breakfast, yum. It's cold, by the way since either A, Kenny was too lazy to heat this up, or B, his power was shut off.
Video games! No need to actually get dressed yet.
Because you're a poor piece of shit, all of the things you own are pieces of shit. Just try getting that dresser to open.
He does manage it in the end, but ends up on his ass.
Pay those bills. Like a boss. Your own boss; because you have no job. Time to fix that.
Look at who has a job at the local stripclub. Hey, bills to be payed. Food to be bought, water and electricity to be had.
Talk to yourself, lonely motherfucker. Or are you talking to Mr. Ducksworth of Bathington? Either way, you seem kinda... not sane.
Starving! Food! YES, THERE IS ACTUALLY FOOD. FUCK YEAH!
And back to bed, you lazy bastard.
Time to get up. You've been sleeping for ever.
It took ages to get him out of bed. Like pulling teeth.
Shower, you dirty, dirty boy.
Reading? Reading?!
Don't have a heart attack anyone, it's "erotica". Also known as "porn".
And after the fap session, off to work in your co-workers crappy car. But at least he has a car, Kenny.
RUN, FUCKER, RUN OR YOU'LL BE LATE. AND YOUR BOSS WILL FIRE YOU.
Made it. This time. But they'll be waiting...
Waffles for breakfast. Blackened, charred waffles. Yum. Retry y/n?
Hopefully second time's the charm. Can't afford to make this many waffles.
There was success.
You don't need to know what his hands are doing here.
After a quick shower to wash off the evidence there, we discover that his cheap-ass shower is broken. Damn.
Pickin' up chicks at the bar. She's hot. Boobs, ass. Name?
Come a little closer there... *wink* So, wanna have a good time tonight?
She didn't, but hey, you have her number.
But this isn't it. This is a phone sex line.
And this is work. The guy in the bed, by the way, is Kenny's boss. He didn't end up getting that fucking bonus, though.
Goddamnit.
Trying to pick up guys this time. More luck? No. Not even a number this time.
No, Kenny, hitting on the bartender won't get you free drinks. You've had enough of them anyways, I'm pretty sure. You also don't have the money to buy more.
Yes, you're sexy. Now get off the bar and go home. You're drunk Kenny, and this isn't a strip-club. It's just a regular club. Go home.
Really... go home, Kenny.