fitting in.
not that i appreciate stereotypes, but sometimes, when eating dinner alone in dewick and observing all the different groups of people, i wonder what "group" i tend to associate with. i'm not exactly of the uber-nerd type here, that like all of these science fiction movies and novels. i'm def. not in the 'pretties.' i'm not in frats/sorors or spends every night at a frat crowd. i'm not in the jocks. my friends and i are somewhat dorky, but don't exactly bridge the normal dorky people here. we draw aspects from everywhere. i suppose that's kind of proving my point that stereotypes are pointless, but i do sometimes wonder what category people might put me in, if they were forced to do so. i fear that perhaps i am the forgotten. i notice in social situations, i am just a spectator to the conversations of others. i have trouble even poking my words into their normal banter, since it's so far from the things i'm interested in. sure, i can mesh into molds and pretend like i'm interested, but mostly, i'm not. i find that i have a lot in common with Katie, including our inclination to be antisocial. However, she can definitely mesh into social situations where I find myself not welcome. This has left me rather alone, but...I don't know. I find that at home, people respect me. I can say what I want and people will listen to me. If I say something here, people stare at me like I'm some kind of freak and then "put our conversations on hold [and never come back to them]" if someone else has something more interesting to say. Seriously, some girl did that to me yesterday. I just don't know what either makes me appear standoffish or unworthy to people. I keep trying to identify it, but it's not there, and so, my days are mostly spent alone.
♥ melissa
♥ melissa