(no subject)
Everyone needs a solid belief or idea to stand on. Not because there is some actual truth but because in order to function you need a reason. Its not impossible to go without one but its much more difficult.
I would prefer to create my own than to subscribe to one that has
already been established and regulated because I don't think that any
precedented idea is going to satisfy me.
Or maybe I'm just a lazy piece of shit.
I think that I'm going to write a manifesto...about what?
I have no specific interests, just vague ideas of how the
world/life/people work logistically.
And who the fuck am I to say?
Maybe I'll write Common Sense 2. Score.
But first I'm going to clean my room.
I took three xanex and a vicaden as soon as I woke up. I think that's
all I took.
I never ever thought that I would, ever ever ever, miss school...but I
do. I need structure. I need self discipline. I wish I could skip this.
No one has called me and I haven't called anyone. I think that all of
my friends are apprehensive about hanging out here because of the
general disorder of everything, and I freak them out because I'm a constantly incoherent. And my academic efforts are fruitless, and too little too late. I don't really want to be one of the kids that hang out on the front porch with beers and worry about cops and their parents and getting arrested and shit...
I don't want to end up the parent of one of those kids.
I don't want to end up like my mom, although I'm in no danger of that.
Most of all I just don't want to be completely invalid.
And I can't tell where I stand or fit or whether I'm wanted or not.
At least there's music. I couldn't live without it.
I got my wisdom tooth and another one on the left side removed. First
trip to the dentist sense the eighth grade when I got half a root canal
and then never went back. I love the dentist. The waiting room had the
most comfortable couch I've ever sat on, they were nice to me and
convincingly pretended to be sympathetic as opposed to condescending, and
then numbed my mouth and gave me nitrous oxide. I loved it. I want to get
all of my teeth taken out. Then they gave me legal drugs.
And one of the oral surgeons was cute as hell. And nice.
Oi vey.
I'm off to make nothing of myself...
peace.
I would prefer to create my own than to subscribe to one that has
already been established and regulated because I don't think that any
precedented idea is going to satisfy me.
Or maybe I'm just a lazy piece of shit.
I think that I'm going to write a manifesto...about what?
I have no specific interests, just vague ideas of how the
world/life/people work logistically.
And who the fuck am I to say?
Maybe I'll write Common Sense 2. Score.
But first I'm going to clean my room.
I took three xanex and a vicaden as soon as I woke up. I think that's
all I took.
I never ever thought that I would, ever ever ever, miss school...but I
do. I need structure. I need self discipline. I wish I could skip this.
No one has called me and I haven't called anyone. I think that all of
my friends are apprehensive about hanging out here because of the
general disorder of everything, and I freak them out because I'm a constantly incoherent. And my academic efforts are fruitless, and too little too late. I don't really want to be one of the kids that hang out on the front porch with beers and worry about cops and their parents and getting arrested and shit...
I don't want to end up the parent of one of those kids.
I don't want to end up like my mom, although I'm in no danger of that.
Most of all I just don't want to be completely invalid.
And I can't tell where I stand or fit or whether I'm wanted or not.
At least there's music. I couldn't live without it.
I got my wisdom tooth and another one on the left side removed. First
trip to the dentist sense the eighth grade when I got half a root canal
and then never went back. I love the dentist. The waiting room had the
most comfortable couch I've ever sat on, they were nice to me and
convincingly pretended to be sympathetic as opposed to condescending, and
then numbed my mouth and gave me nitrous oxide. I loved it. I want to get
all of my teeth taken out. Then they gave me legal drugs.
And one of the oral surgeons was cute as hell. And nice.
Oi vey.
I'm off to make nothing of myself...
peace.