Dr.Pepper and I just stabbed my toe...
To A point I'm confused, But I'm pretty sure that I'm at the point where I don't care. I should care. I just don't expect that I'll ever have a happily ever after, especailly not this time. But do I want a happily ever after this time?...I would much rather stay at home and waste away watching movies and reading books, but also I'd rather avoid staying at my dads house, so I'll make plans. I should have a social life at 16 though anyways, right? Too bad I'm anti social and hate being around that family, not to be confused with my family, more than I hate being around people in general. Maybe I should just live with mother, but, how long have I been saying I'm moving in with my mom? Lets face it, those threats are empty, I don't have the heart. Last year I might have been able to pack my stuff and go, but then again, I didn't...
I can't help but miss some people, not the people you would expect I would be missing. I found myself not thinking about you(s), I dont think I should miss you, you certainly don't miss me. That's okay. I'm starting to see all the reasons I shouldn't miss you. All the reasons I should have seen before, I probably did and just ignored them, I'm a wishful thinker. I shouldn't be by now, but things can always change.
I hate change.
I hate when things don't change.
I hate when I don't know if things will change.
I hate when I don't know if things will stop changing.
That was a little bi-polar.
I think...I just hate the unknown...and I don't know alot..and I hate it..
What I would love right now, is some jack daniels..but, I have Dr.pepper, thats good enough for me..
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone, it makes sense to me, and it is my journal after all....
You can sin or spend the night all alone....If you let me have my way I swear I'll tear you apart