venting. go ahead and keep scrolling
For some reason I don't get Pms. There is no PRE in there for me. I just get moody and emotional during that time of the month.
I hate this so much. I was having a great day until I came home. Both the plays today were awesome. Everyone signed my show shirt and I laughed and smiled. Then I come home to this. The computer reorganized probably by no one other than that fucking mom. She made everyone in the house their own desktop, but locked the owner one and restriced the others, so now I can't get to ANY of my music or pictures or anything. The good news is now I can log into things and stay logged in. I wonder how long this will last.
But anyways. I'm just sick of my mom all together. No one in my family is really dependable and everyones to selfish and wrapped up in their own lives. All last week for hell week I think April picked me up everyday cept Monday. No one would come pick me up because they were off either shopping, bowling or belly dancing. I just think it's crap that my mom, grandma and everyone one would be willing to leave me stranded till who knows what time of the night because they are busy doing luxury things. Especially my mom. The only person she seems to care about is herself. April is even fed up with my mom putting her life in front of her childrens. She told me that she wants me to move in with her and my dad because shes just sick of me having to rely on unreliable people. I don't know what to do. I really want to move out, but there is something that is stopping me from leaving and I don't know what it is. It used to be that I wouldn't leave because of my cats, but my moms getting rid of one of them anyways so now there is nothing holding me back. I know my life isn't that bad compared to others lives, but I guess I'm not as strong as those people who go through worse than me. All I want is just to have a mom that actually cares. It would be nice to be able to say "oh, my moms home." instead of "oh my god why the hell is she home?!" and then start crying.
Another thing is I miss being in love. Everytime I seem to like someone a lot of other people like them too and I know I don't have a chance with the person when everyone else wants them. Sometimes I wish I had horrible taste in guys instead of such "in common taste"
infinite love,
chelsea