Words can't describe my feelings right now
Wanna start off on a happy note:
Auto response from qtshorty788 (7:59:44 PM): Wahoo...
Aleks whats your ideal guy...
And aleks says... A VERDI!
(not just one ALL OF THEM!)
*Alek... EWW NO!*
*Auto response from Krilun (8:03:07 PM): Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
*Ahh I <3 u Kenny!
ACRDUFF (8:08:52 PM): all I really have to do is show up to my exams to graduate
ToxicLove26 (8:09:05 PM): i dont have those
ACRDUFF (8:09:11 PM): yeah...you suck
ToxicLove26 (8:09:26 PM): i heart u!
ACRDUFF (8:09:35 PM): I heart u too
ToxicLove26 (8:09:40 PM): :-D
*At least someone does!*
Well this weekend kinda blew. Well it went from really awesome to omg i wanna kill myslef between Thursday and Friday and then back to being ok on Saturday and Sunday was just kinda there. And today isn't bad, but isn't good right now. So lets start with Thursday shall we..!?
*Thursday: Today was the first day that I could actually sleep in without getting yelled @ for not going to Senior Search! How awesome is that. And today was the last official day of classes for Seniors! So everyone was happy. The carpet people finally showed up and we got new carpet in our dining room, living room and the stairs going upstairs/the hallway. It actually looks good... lol it looks like the stuff that was already there. Then my mom and I went shopping for something to wear under my gown for Graduation. I found 2 really cute skirts @ Wet Seal and my shirt. I was excited! Then Justine calls me and I went over Bobby's for a cookout! OMG it was so much fun! lets see it was me, Stine, Andrea, Jenn, Angela, Jessica, Lisa (but tehy left early), Jenna, Ally, Lisa, Tina, Bobby, Joey, Brian, Kenny, Dylan, Phil, Conor, Nick, Steve, TJ, Kyle, Tony and I think that was it. We had so much food, and we were playing , in the words of Lisa, THE BIRDIE GAME!!! LoL. O man. And yes Ally, Lisa and I killed u and Stine, even though u hit me in the neck with the birdie and made it look like i had a hickie... ALLY! We also had an awesome game of four square going on in Bobby's driveway. Well it was more like 8 square cause everyone had 2 squares. Phil was almost killed by an old guy on a bike, it was pretty funny. Then Jenn scared the shit out of me with ther store about a clown and then the raping dead guy. eww I don't even wanna think about those. Ally and I took a nice little walk... it was fun. Then Ben called me and I talked to him for like 10 seconds. And then Mrs. Tannous came home and told us that there was a Tornado warning or something liek that, so people started to leave. Well needless to say that Ally, Stine, Angela, Bobby, Steve, Conor, Tina and someone else stayed. We sat out in the rain till I decided that I should go home and take a shower and try to straighten my hair for Honors Day. So I went home
*Friday: Today had to be one of the worst days I've had in a while. It just sucked. Honors Day sucked. The picnic sucked. I went to the Captains Game and it was freezing! And then that night I went to a party and that sucked cause I spend most the night crying in ym car because of how much I was hurt. Don't ask I dont wanna talk about it. Ben, please just don't do that again. And I wont do ne thing again. I ended up called Meggo @ like 2 in the morning balling my eyes out because I had no idea what to do/think, till Ben came out and talked to me... still really didn't make things better, but I just was so blah. Dude when your drunk and your balling your eyes out, u tell me how u feel. JUST BE HONEST WITH ME! NO MATTER WHAT IT HAS TO DEAL ABOUT! CAUSE I'M MORE AFRAID OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU LIE AGAIN THEN WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOUR HONEST WITH ME! It just was a really bad night. But the people @ the party were so nice to me and helped me out so much!! That made me happy.
*Saturday: I worked 10-4. O boy... not good specially when I got Ben's voicemail. I started crying again and they made me go on my break because of how badly I was shaking! But when I was done I went out to my car and Meggo made me a card with like a bunch of cut outs on it from like magazines and stuff.... it made me happy!! But other then that, it just was a really suckie weekend! I was just scared cause of how much Ben means to me. I dont wanna lose him, even though he might be hiding something from me, I sitll trust him, I just hope I dont lose that trust! I just dont think he feels the same about me ne more then what he did. I just wanna think nothing bad is going to happen cause I honestly don't think it's going to, but I just hope nothing will (if that makes sense)! Ahhh I just dont wanna think about this ne more. Well that night was ok, I bought him chips and dip (he was craving them so I bought them for him) and things got better!! At least I think they did!! Yeah, they did! LoL
*Sunday: OMG I HAD TO WORK SO EARLY!! AND WE WERE JAMMED WITH PEOPLE! I wanted to cry cause of how many people tehre were. Once I was done in bakery, I went over and did line set-up. Haha Becky gave me a sticker cause I did such a good job! I was so proud! Then It was Kyle and myself on line. That was it. And we kicked ass! I actally had a good day @ work! Plus, Irene and Ryan and Carla were working so that made my day! Then Meggo came in and sawed me! LoL. After work I went home and to my surprise, my grandma was there and she was cleaning. It was funny! I watched Mona Lisa Smile (WHAT A GOOD MOVIE!!!) and Jeepers Creepers 2 (It was also good but I liked Mona Lisa Smile better!) My dad then made me go take Pepper for a walk, I saw Jen and Jill, and then we walked. It was a much needed walk! LoL! Then later that night I went to the movies! We saw The Day After Tomorrow. It was pretty good! The filming of it was amazing. LoL I dunno how to decribe it. It was a good movie! Go and see it! When I talkd to Ben, he told me that he's going to become a trainer @ work! I'm so excited for him, and plus he put in for a raise and he should get one! YAY! And there was something else, I just don't remember! LoL but I was so happy for him! Tehehe!
Today: Well I slept till like 1ish! It was nice! But then my mom came and work me up. I must have had a really bad nose bleed last night cause I woke up and there was dried blood on my face/pillow/blanket. Not good. And it looks like a really bad one too! I also woke up in one of those cold sweats.... not good. But then again, I really didn't have happy/good dreams last night! O boy! LoL. Well I dunno whats going on for the rest of the day, so yeah I'll update this later! Bye ya'll!
*Memory By Sugarcult:
this may never start
we could fall apart
and not be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can now be your memory
so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like i imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this may never start
i'll tear us apart
could now be your enemy
losing half our years
waiting for you here
i'd be your anything
so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like i imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this could never start
tearing out my heart
and id be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings disappear
can not be your memory
so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like i imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this could never start
we could fall apart
and id be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can not be your memory
can not be your memory
Auto response from qtshorty788 (7:59:44 PM): Wahoo...
Aleks whats your ideal guy...
And aleks says... A VERDI!
(not just one ALL OF THEM!)
*Alek... EWW NO!*
*Auto response from Krilun (8:03:07 PM): Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
*Ahh I <3 u Kenny!
ACRDUFF (8:08:52 PM): all I really have to do is show up to my exams to graduate
ToxicLove26 (8:09:05 PM): i dont have those
ACRDUFF (8:09:11 PM): yeah...you suck
ToxicLove26 (8:09:26 PM): i heart u!
ACRDUFF (8:09:35 PM): I heart u too
ToxicLove26 (8:09:40 PM): :-D
*At least someone does!*
Well this weekend kinda blew. Well it went from really awesome to omg i wanna kill myslef between Thursday and Friday and then back to being ok on Saturday and Sunday was just kinda there. And today isn't bad, but isn't good right now. So lets start with Thursday shall we..!?
*Thursday: Today was the first day that I could actually sleep in without getting yelled @ for not going to Senior Search! How awesome is that. And today was the last official day of classes for Seniors! So everyone was happy. The carpet people finally showed up and we got new carpet in our dining room, living room and the stairs going upstairs/the hallway. It actually looks good... lol it looks like the stuff that was already there. Then my mom and I went shopping for something to wear under my gown for Graduation. I found 2 really cute skirts @ Wet Seal and my shirt. I was excited! Then Justine calls me and I went over Bobby's for a cookout! OMG it was so much fun! lets see it was me, Stine, Andrea, Jenn, Angela, Jessica, Lisa (but tehy left early), Jenna, Ally, Lisa, Tina, Bobby, Joey, Brian, Kenny, Dylan, Phil, Conor, Nick, Steve, TJ, Kyle, Tony and I think that was it. We had so much food, and we were playing , in the words of Lisa, THE BIRDIE GAME!!! LoL. O man. And yes Ally, Lisa and I killed u and Stine, even though u hit me in the neck with the birdie and made it look like i had a hickie... ALLY! We also had an awesome game of four square going on in Bobby's driveway. Well it was more like 8 square cause everyone had 2 squares. Phil was almost killed by an old guy on a bike, it was pretty funny. Then Jenn scared the shit out of me with ther store about a clown and then the raping dead guy. eww I don't even wanna think about those. Ally and I took a nice little walk... it was fun. Then Ben called me and I talked to him for like 10 seconds. And then Mrs. Tannous came home and told us that there was a Tornado warning or something liek that, so people started to leave. Well needless to say that Ally, Stine, Angela, Bobby, Steve, Conor, Tina and someone else stayed. We sat out in the rain till I decided that I should go home and take a shower and try to straighten my hair for Honors Day. So I went home
*Friday: Today had to be one of the worst days I've had in a while. It just sucked. Honors Day sucked. The picnic sucked. I went to the Captains Game and it was freezing! And then that night I went to a party and that sucked cause I spend most the night crying in ym car because of how much I was hurt. Don't ask I dont wanna talk about it. Ben, please just don't do that again. And I wont do ne thing again. I ended up called Meggo @ like 2 in the morning balling my eyes out because I had no idea what to do/think, till Ben came out and talked to me... still really didn't make things better, but I just was so blah. Dude when your drunk and your balling your eyes out, u tell me how u feel. JUST BE HONEST WITH ME! NO MATTER WHAT IT HAS TO DEAL ABOUT! CAUSE I'M MORE AFRAID OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU LIE AGAIN THEN WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOUR HONEST WITH ME! It just was a really bad night. But the people @ the party were so nice to me and helped me out so much!! That made me happy.
*Saturday: I worked 10-4. O boy... not good specially when I got Ben's voicemail. I started crying again and they made me go on my break because of how badly I was shaking! But when I was done I went out to my car and Meggo made me a card with like a bunch of cut outs on it from like magazines and stuff.... it made me happy!! But other then that, it just was a really suckie weekend! I was just scared cause of how much Ben means to me. I dont wanna lose him, even though he might be hiding something from me, I sitll trust him, I just hope I dont lose that trust! I just dont think he feels the same about me ne more then what he did. I just wanna think nothing bad is going to happen cause I honestly don't think it's going to, but I just hope nothing will (if that makes sense)! Ahhh I just dont wanna think about this ne more. Well that night was ok, I bought him chips and dip (he was craving them so I bought them for him) and things got better!! At least I think they did!! Yeah, they did! LoL
*Sunday: OMG I HAD TO WORK SO EARLY!! AND WE WERE JAMMED WITH PEOPLE! I wanted to cry cause of how many people tehre were. Once I was done in bakery, I went over and did line set-up. Haha Becky gave me a sticker cause I did such a good job! I was so proud! Then It was Kyle and myself on line. That was it. And we kicked ass! I actally had a good day @ work! Plus, Irene and Ryan and Carla were working so that made my day! Then Meggo came in and sawed me! LoL. After work I went home and to my surprise, my grandma was there and she was cleaning. It was funny! I watched Mona Lisa Smile (WHAT A GOOD MOVIE!!!) and Jeepers Creepers 2 (It was also good but I liked Mona Lisa Smile better!) My dad then made me go take Pepper for a walk, I saw Jen and Jill, and then we walked. It was a much needed walk! LoL! Then later that night I went to the movies! We saw The Day After Tomorrow. It was pretty good! The filming of it was amazing. LoL I dunno how to decribe it. It was a good movie! Go and see it! When I talkd to Ben, he told me that he's going to become a trainer @ work! I'm so excited for him, and plus he put in for a raise and he should get one! YAY! And there was something else, I just don't remember! LoL but I was so happy for him! Tehehe!
Today: Well I slept till like 1ish! It was nice! But then my mom came and work me up. I must have had a really bad nose bleed last night cause I woke up and there was dried blood on my face/pillow/blanket. Not good. And it looks like a really bad one too! I also woke up in one of those cold sweats.... not good. But then again, I really didn't have happy/good dreams last night! O boy! LoL. Well I dunno whats going on for the rest of the day, so yeah I'll update this later! Bye ya'll!
*Memory By Sugarcult:
this may never start
we could fall apart
and not be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can now be your memory
so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like i imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this may never start
i'll tear us apart
could now be your enemy
losing half our years
waiting for you here
i'd be your anything
so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like i imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this could never start
tearing out my heart
and id be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings disappear
can not be your memory
so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like i imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this could never start
we could fall apart
and id be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can not be your memory
can not be your memory