back to my old crazy self again :D
OKAY. So.
Tomorrow I am going to the Coldplay concert. Yes Jen, I am going with you. *BIGSMILE* excitement!
Sunday I had an awfully shitty day; those close to me know why and I will not elaborate except that I will say it was a combination of first-time-on-my-own-stress, school, work, lacking something, feeling sort of alone, and OMF monkeys....wait for it..A BOY. AAAargh. This boy business was the last straw. I was sobbing as I drove from church back to town and didn't know where I was going so I ended up at a park. I was there for 15 minutes but it literally felt like an hour. I really cleared my head without even thinking much. I just sat there on a pier overlooking the water, watching bubbles pop on the surface. The trees on the other side were so beautiful and someday I will have to go back there to paint. Anyway, afterwards I went to Target and the dollar store, bought some crap and of course that made me feel even better.
My roommates are wonderful, they listen to my crap.
Yesterday I woke up and my first thought was,|" oh damn I do not want to get up, my life sucks, today sucks....-" but then I thought to myself, "NO. Today will be a good day! I will have a frigin awesome day!" So instead of stressing about this whole mess of things that I have to get done, and when will I have time to do them, and yada yada, I took out pen and paper and made a schedule. Suddenly everything fit into place, I even had some extra time. Then I thought about my mental and emotional state, which was quite fragile and making me feel very emotional and vulnerable. I decided instead of feeling sorry for myself and being so selfish worrying about all these stupid things, that I would do something for others, and in turn, for myself. So, on my way to class I looked at people and smiled at them. Definitely not a full-out-teeth-baring grin (I mean, dude, that would possible freak some ppl out), but eye contact and a pleasant smile. I remember that even thought the first 10 people either didn't even look at me or just didn't smile back, I still felt kind of nice about myself. Then when someone returned a genuine smile, I felt this happiness inside and actually giggled once he'd already walked past. Overall I received two confirmed smiles back, and everything was worth it. After that I had a wonderful day. I bumped into my math professor from my freshman year at USF and had a nice convo with him, I sung out loud in the car, laughed about stupid silly stuff with my roomies, joked around with people, went shopping, had a great convo with my dad and then my sister. It just felt like such a successful day. Oh, I worked too and after yesterday I don't hate working at that Sonic anymore.
So that's that and I'm in the oddest relationship of my life right now. Well, it's def in the top 3 at least.
There's a 85% chance I'll be down in PC this wknd. Anyone up for anything friday night?
xoxo.
"When life gives you shit, add some dirt and plant strawberries." -me