i think i figured out what it is
i just don't feel good *enough.
and i guess you could say it comes from a lot of things.
my past with guys, how i've treated them and how i've allowed them to treat me. it makes me sick.
how can you feel so old when you're just 21?
i'm trying to get out of this slump, but the usual isn't working.
i wish i would never have discovered perspective - like i wish i wouldn't look at myself so harshly sometimes.
i'm sick of people treating me like i'm so much older than i am. and that's a first. but i am, i'm sick of feeling like there's this expectation of me...i just wanna do what i want to do and i don't want to care anymore. i don't want to care what they would say or what they would see.
i'm sick of feeling like if it doesn't work out then that's it, and that's all there is, and i think that that's what's making me feel so old. like that's my one and only chance to make it.
i just need to keep telling myslef that it's not, i guess.
i don't know anymore, i feel like i'm lost.
and i guess you could say it comes from a lot of things.
my past with guys, how i've treated them and how i've allowed them to treat me. it makes me sick.
how can you feel so old when you're just 21?
i'm trying to get out of this slump, but the usual isn't working.
i wish i would never have discovered perspective - like i wish i wouldn't look at myself so harshly sometimes.
i'm sick of people treating me like i'm so much older than i am. and that's a first. but i am, i'm sick of feeling like there's this expectation of me...i just wanna do what i want to do and i don't want to care anymore. i don't want to care what they would say or what they would see.
i'm sick of feeling like if it doesn't work out then that's it, and that's all there is, and i think that that's what's making me feel so old. like that's my one and only chance to make it.
i just need to keep telling myslef that it's not, i guess.
i don't know anymore, i feel like i'm lost.