(no subject)
it breaks my heart to think that you will not be there.
for months i have tried to keep my distance, to not be involved.
you had hurt me and disappointed me so much, and i finally gave up on you.
you gave up on me first, though.
i have still tried. i have still been here for you. i have still loved you.
i would give anything to have you back.
i would give anything to see you smile.
i would give anything to kiss you.
i would give anything to make love to you.
i know it will never happen.
i know that you do not love me.
i know that you will never be the man that i need you to be.
i know that you will continue to hurt me.
i know that you will never be happy.
i will never be enough for you. this home means nothing to you.
you do not have it within yourself to fight to keep this alive.
because all you can do is take, and you can never give anything back.
i am sorry that what i did hurt you. you have to understand i did everything i could. i tried so hard to keep you with me, but you were already gone. i lost you a long time ago in a field, and you never came back to me. i am sorry. i just wanted to feel something other than this pain. i just wanted to feel special again. i just wanted someone to appreciate me, and not complain about everything that i am, despite the fact that everything i ever did was for us. all i've ever tried to do was give you what i could, and it was never enough.
i miss you so much. i miss you more than anything. i do not want to lose you. you mean so much to me. there will never be anyone quite like you. i just wish you could have opened yourself to me. i wish you could have seen past all of the bad, and realized how much good there really was. i wish that it could have been enough that i loved you, that i understood you, that i was here for you. i wish you could have let me be myself. i wish you could have given me what i needed.
i wish that you wouldn't leave me, but i know that you will. just like everyone else.
for months i have tried to keep my distance, to not be involved.
you had hurt me and disappointed me so much, and i finally gave up on you.
you gave up on me first, though.
i have still tried. i have still been here for you. i have still loved you.
i would give anything to have you back.
i would give anything to see you smile.
i would give anything to kiss you.
i would give anything to make love to you.
i know it will never happen.
i know that you do not love me.
i know that you will never be the man that i need you to be.
i know that you will continue to hurt me.
i know that you will never be happy.
i will never be enough for you. this home means nothing to you.
you do not have it within yourself to fight to keep this alive.
because all you can do is take, and you can never give anything back.
i am sorry that what i did hurt you. you have to understand i did everything i could. i tried so hard to keep you with me, but you were already gone. i lost you a long time ago in a field, and you never came back to me. i am sorry. i just wanted to feel something other than this pain. i just wanted to feel special again. i just wanted someone to appreciate me, and not complain about everything that i am, despite the fact that everything i ever did was for us. all i've ever tried to do was give you what i could, and it was never enough.
i miss you so much. i miss you more than anything. i do not want to lose you. you mean so much to me. there will never be anyone quite like you. i just wish you could have opened yourself to me. i wish you could have seen past all of the bad, and realized how much good there really was. i wish that it could have been enough that i loved you, that i understood you, that i was here for you. i wish you could have let me be myself. i wish you could have given me what i needed.
i wish that you wouldn't leave me, but i know that you will. just like everyone else.