intrepid wanderers and inferred wishes.
From a young age I had always been given to flights of fancy. These generally lasted about a month or so, much to my mother's chagrin, who was always forced to indulge my whims. Upon this my father insisted, despite - or perhaps due to - the fact that his work kept him away for long periods of time. At the age of twelve I became obsessed with yet another avocation, that of chemistry. But this obsession did not subside, as the others had. By fourteen I had conquered all available volumes of molecular construction and behavior in the local repository. At sixteen I was accepted into Cambridge, and now, at twenty-eight, have been given distinctions generally reserved for those of much more established reputation. Regardless, I write this a fool. I have achieved the goal which has obsessed me in secret for all these years. I endeavored to discover that which has eluded and excited the greatest minds of science for countless years, alchemy. The goal so simple, lead to gold. If you can force only three protons per molecule to leave, you are a rich man. But in reality so difficult, with lead an extremely stable element. But I had done it. It had taken only fifteen years from start to finish, and I had done it. But despite my success, I did not understand why. I had created the necessary chemical reaction to bring about the change I was looking for, and I (approbations and all) was helpless to understand my own work. But in my haste and youth, I decided to put my discovery to work. I would introduce a fair quantity of reagent (even a small amount would yield so much change!) into a shallow reservoir near my summer cottage. It was small and seasonal, so by the middle of summer chemicals and water both had evaporated. With the rain increasing in the fall, the changes began to occur. And how magical at first! Discarded lead pipes became gold overnight. Junkyards became the magical pot at the end of the rainbow. My plan had been simple. With a surplus of gold, the gold standard would become an instant anachronism, toppling economies in a moment. A new world order - egalitarian, without class or currency - forced upon the earth in the span of a week. How marvelous a thought! And yet, just four days into my greatest triumph the singular flaw has become apparent. And how foolish. The catalyst in my reaction was oxygen. The lead and my reagent consumed it voraciously, converting it to energy, removing the three extra protons from the lead and creating one neon atom and one hydrogen atom per gold atom. I have completed the calculations, and by the time my reaction has ended, it will be far too late. I feel light headed already, and my best estimate is that the entire human race will go to sleep sometime around nine o'clock tonight. And yet, what a beautiful, beautiful ending.