Temp Jobs - A Very Special Place in Hell
I've been thinking about temp jobs lately b/c every time the idea of quitting my job enters my head, I quickly remember how horrible it is to be a temp and I go back to being grateful for full time employment w/benefits.
I had a part time job at About.com right out of college. This was actually an internship I had during my 2nd semester of Senior year and I was able to stick around after graduation in hopes of becoming a full timer. The work was mindless; all I had to do was unsubscribe people from various mailing lists and newsletters. However, this did not stop people from finding out our direct lines and calling us to yell at us for being on our mailing lists. This is why the policy for my team was, "Do not answer the phones." Since it was early 2001 we were at the tail end of the dot com boom and the office was stocked w/free snacks, a foosball table, a ping pong table, a giant red ball (think exercise ball, but 5 times bigger (it was About.com's logo), free bagel Thursdays and free pizza Fridays.
Cut to August and the entire office was moving to NY, employees not included. I, being a lowly peon, did not find out until I went in one day and the office was deserted and one of the higher ups asked me, "Um, what are you doing in here?"
Thus began my 1.5 year stint as a temp monkey. Well prior to temping I spent a good 2-3 months in deep denial and depression. I was up to my waist in soap operas and game shows so it was hard to pick up the phone to call temp agencies. Here are some of the worst temp jobs I've ever had:
- Receptionist at a hospital, in the children's cancer ward no less. This was my first temp job out of college and holy shit did it suck. My responsibility was to book appointments for kids coming in to get radiation treatments as well as be the admin assistant to one of the top doctors they had in that dept and to transcribe tapes of autopsies while answering the main phones for that area. It was HELL. The doctor I was an admin for was the hardest person to work for; he was dismissive of anyone "below" him and completely disrespectful to not only me but all of the other admins and nurses, too. He wouldn't even sign the Make a Wish forms unless I personally brought them to him, which was always a nerve-wracking experience. The other horrible aspect of the job, more so than the asshole doctor, was booking the radiation treatments. I didn't get enough training and the software was really outdated. It was a confusing nightmare, trying to book these appointments while parents were on the phone w/groggy voices from many sleepless nights full of crying and worrying. Kids' lives were at stake here and I was fumbling around, unintentionally messing up their appointments. Then 9/11 happened and that temp gig ended and I was back in search of another.
- Another bad temp job was at a company that made prosthetic limbs. It was only supposed to be a 2 day gig and my job was to make photo copies of their documents. Sounds easy, right? I was not used to standing on my feet for 8 hours nor was I used to having the owner of the company sit in a chair 5 feet away and STARE at me while I made the photocopies. I was so creeped out that I didn't return the 2nd day.
- Receptionist at a law firm. This place was really small and stuffy. It wasn't that great of a law firm seeing as their fax machine was one of the first fax machines to enter the market (it had a CONVEYOR BELT, OK?). The worst part was that this old crabby lady was the head admin lady in the office and she policed everything I did. She told me that it did not "look good" that I was on the internet even though no one could see my computer screen since I was backed up against a wall. What else was I supposed to do when we only got about 10 calls per day? So she took away the net access and I was left with solitaire and minesweeper, until she told me I wasn't allowed to use the computer for those games either. I then resorted to doodling horrible pictures of her in order to kill the time. I wish I still had these doodles.
- Random office monkey at another law firm. Yet another old crabby lady tormented me here. Only this time it wasn't over computer usage but over my eating habits! She was a svelte old thing and she would always give me the elevator eyes b/c she was a size 0 and I was far from it. One day I brought back a pizza bagel for lunch and she looked at it and said, "Carbs are so bad for you. I haven't had carbs in 3 years. It all turns to sugar in your body and it's not good for your health." Whatever bitch, that pizza bagel was DELICIOUS and I've had about 48 of them since.
- Receptionist at a corporate real estate company. The worst part about this job was that we got so many phone calls every day. The switchboard was insane, all these black buttons and tiny numbers. I was deathly afraid of dropping calls and I definitely dropped a fair share of them. The company name was comprised of 4 or 5 surnames of rich old white men. The names were long and hard to pronounce and I tripped over them time and time again, due to shot nerves and a general disdain for the telephone. One time a caller asked me to say the name again and when I stumbled on it a 2nd time, I apologized and said, "Sorry, I'm just a temp." He replied, "You sure are." After a month they offered me to stay full time and I declined w/out a 2nd thought.
Tell me about your worst temp jobs or jobs in general.
BTW, a good movie to check out about temping is Clockwatchers.