back to the rants... see a pattern with how they correspond to vacations?
i wish my parents could just keep to their fucking selves and let me fucking be... they don't know me nearly as well as they think they do... they don't understand the world that i live in, that we, our generation of college going students, lives in... Neither of them earned a college degree, and neither of them even attended a music school, so who the fuck are they to start bitching at me about me failing my level? who the fuck are they to ask me what the guarantee is that i'll pass the next time? WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY!? the ones who are paying the tuition? well sorry but that's not enough to justify something so rude and uncouth. They don't understand because they can't.
and to top it the fuck off... they are bitching about me getting a fucking job again, but this time they are over my fucking shoulder watching me fill out my applications! fine, do that, but don't you open your mouth. of course my mother did and bitched about a fucking joke. Why should i tell her it was a joke when she was snapping at me? why? she snapped at me and i said nothing. then she gets all lecture-y about it and i get my "ugh... not this again" face on, and she switches gears to the "your so disrespectful and arrogant" crap again.
i want to move out. how is it that i can live so easily with everyone else i've ever lived with (excepting ryan anderson, but at least we never had a shouting match) and be unable to spend 24 hours at home and not have a fight with my mother? how is it that when i call home to speak to my family for just a few minutes before my viola recital that my father needs to start asking about why i failed my level when i don't have that information yet and not get the cue to leave that alone and start getting snappy towards me and my professor when i tell him i don't know. don't ya think you might be prodding at a nerve on that one!?
Keep your advice about my attitude to yourself. No one else i know sees me as the person they do. they see me as a jokester, and yeah they all know i can be arrogant on occasion, but they don't see it as my only quality. They see it as that occasional annoyance that comes up once in a while. They see me for what i really am, my parents on the other hand can only see my less than redeeming qualities (or at least they make no effort to make me aware of that being false) all they do is bitch about how i'm always so condescending to them. well what goes around comes around. I've always been the type of person who turns around and bitches right back at someone who bitches at me, so when my mother can't keep her damn mouth shut and has to get all preachy at me about something, i get angry. I try to keep my mouth shut, but all i get is an "answer me!" and so I'm left with only a few choices: keep my mouth shut and get yelled at for being disrespectful, open my mouth and say what's on my mind and get called disrespectful, or lie through my teeth and because i'm a terrible liar, get called disrespectful.
It's always a lose-lose situation built for me by my parents. Oh did i mention that i get the blame for the lose-lose situation too?
fuck this... being the black sheep sucks
and to top it the fuck off... they are bitching about me getting a fucking job again, but this time they are over my fucking shoulder watching me fill out my applications! fine, do that, but don't you open your mouth. of course my mother did and bitched about a fucking joke. Why should i tell her it was a joke when she was snapping at me? why? she snapped at me and i said nothing. then she gets all lecture-y about it and i get my "ugh... not this again" face on, and she switches gears to the "your so disrespectful and arrogant" crap again.
i want to move out. how is it that i can live so easily with everyone else i've ever lived with (excepting ryan anderson, but at least we never had a shouting match) and be unable to spend 24 hours at home and not have a fight with my mother? how is it that when i call home to speak to my family for just a few minutes before my viola recital that my father needs to start asking about why i failed my level when i don't have that information yet and not get the cue to leave that alone and start getting snappy towards me and my professor when i tell him i don't know. don't ya think you might be prodding at a nerve on that one!?
Keep your advice about my attitude to yourself. No one else i know sees me as the person they do. they see me as a jokester, and yeah they all know i can be arrogant on occasion, but they don't see it as my only quality. They see it as that occasional annoyance that comes up once in a while. They see me for what i really am, my parents on the other hand can only see my less than redeeming qualities (or at least they make no effort to make me aware of that being false) all they do is bitch about how i'm always so condescending to them. well what goes around comes around. I've always been the type of person who turns around and bitches right back at someone who bitches at me, so when my mother can't keep her damn mouth shut and has to get all preachy at me about something, i get angry. I try to keep my mouth shut, but all i get is an "answer me!" and so I'm left with only a few choices: keep my mouth shut and get yelled at for being disrespectful, open my mouth and say what's on my mind and get called disrespectful, or lie through my teeth and because i'm a terrible liar, get called disrespectful.
It's always a lose-lose situation built for me by my parents. Oh did i mention that i get the blame for the lose-lose situation too?
fuck this... being the black sheep sucks