Breakfast With a Side of Hopelessness

[lethechained]

Characters:  Naminé (lethechained)
Setting: Floor 1, the cafeteria
Format: Starting this way, will match.
Summary: Naminé's been spending most of the event trying to fight the experiment effects, but it looks like it's a battle she's losing. (Attempting to fight transition to Stage 3.)
Warnings: Angst, hopelessness, lethargy. She's still got enough of a handle on

Comments

hope you can forgive the bit of tl;dr. ; u;

[fangirls]

Not once in her life had Marta felt so trapped. Not when she lived in Palmacosta where the feeling of fear and oppression had always lingered in the air, not when her father had betrayed her or when Ratatosk's core had been attached to her forehead; not even when she'd been bound and unable to move had she felt like this. She'd always been able to find a solution, even if that meant running away (he who runs away lives to fight another day, after all.)

There was no escaping it though, no denying the corpses crawling closer to her. No matter how tightly she closed her eyes or how much she covered her ears, she could still see them in her head, she heard their pained cries for help, and perhaps worst of all she could feel the blood smearing her skin and soaking through her clothes as they clawed at and grabbed onto her. The rotten smell of blood and decay permeating the air was enough to drive her mad. She'd thrown up more than once, but she was well beyond feeling embarrassed about such things.

And no matter how much she ran, she just found herself going in circles, running straight back into the face of the problem she was trying to avoid. The maimed bodies were always one step ahead and there was no where else for her to go, not in this tiny tower. Still, she kept moving, hoping that she could somehow outrun it, that she would blink and it'd all disappear, or perhaps wake up to find that it was all just a terrible dream.

She stopped in the kitchen, her breath hitching at the sight of person--not crawling, but quietly sitting at a table, seemingly unaware of what was going on around her. The sight of the nice, normal, wholy in tact person might have been comforting if she hadn't seemed to be so ignorant of the situation. There was depression and perhaps a touch of apathy on her face, but nothing else to suggest that she was even aware of where she was. Maybe she'd just gotten used to it? But then, how could you get used to something like this?

Marta padded across the room, sitting down next to the girl. Her attempts at a friendly smile were distorted, becoming strained and nervous, her eyes growing wider than she'd willed them to be. The tension even leaked into the teenager's voice as she spoke to her in a concerned voice (because there had to be a reason for that look and there had to be some misunderstanding, some reason why it seemed like she was the only one aware of their situation, could she? She wasn't sure.)

"Hey...you don't look so good. Are you alright?"

It was a stupid question and she was sure she knew the answer to it. She was sure the girl would lash out at her for asking something so stupid when they both knew the world had gone mad. Except she wasn't sure that this freak show hadn't been set up just for her. The terrifying thought that not only could she no longer run away, but she was completely alone in this twisted world continued to nag at her.

no, this is unforgivable-- I mean, s'cool. C: ! <333

[lethechained]

Even though Naminé saw the other girl approaching corner of her eye, she did not move, assuming instead that she would be passed by. However, to her surprise, that was not the case. Still, it took being addressed directly to make her focus on the other girl who, for whatever reason, saw fit to sit next to her. At first, Naminé just blinked, as if uncertain that she was truly being spoken to. After all, why would anyone bother?

That thought was silly, and she realized it quickly enough; some people were just friendly. And yet... this other girl's smile was conspicuously strained, something even Naminé in her current state could not miss. The corners of lips tugged downward briefly as she slowly urged herself into a more upright seated position, still regarding the newcomer. After a pause during which she belatedly realized that she should try to smile back, did so, and only marginally succeeded, she said, "I'm--" It probably would have been untrue to say that she was okay, because really, none of them were okay, and yet, that was the response that threatened to automatically leave her mouth. Instead, "...it's nothing."

Why should she bother someone else, especially a stranger, with her problems, anyway? They had plenty of their own. But... as she continued to watch her new companion quietly, she couldn't help thinking that she should ask, "Are you?"

[fangirls]

Marta's smile fell as the other girl began her response, replaced by something inquisitive and a little uncertain. The smile returned as the girl finished her statement, looking to be no less than before. She didn't believe that it was nothing, not for a minute, but it seemed to be different from what was bothering Marta herself. She didn't seem at all aware of the gruesome scene in the kitchen. Was it really all in her head?

Her eyes dropped down to her hands, now folded on top of the table. "Yeah, I'm fine." Her smile disappeared again though and this time she made no effort to replace it. "Things have been really weird around here lately though." A beat. "Even more than usual."

[lethechained]

Naminé was not inclined to accept Marta's answer, either, especially not after seeing that original expression. Still, she said nothing on the subject. If she was going to keep things to herself, surely everyone else had a right to.

'Weird' sounded about right. "Because of the experiments?" It was the first thing that came to mind, yes, but that didn't mean that everyone was aware of them, and wasn't it better to find proof than to assume?

[fangirls]

Marta wrung her hands before folding her arms on the table, a frown tugging at her lips. The contents of the note that had explained the experiment had been long forgotten, buried under the flurry of voices and impossible sights. Now that she mentioned it though, that short little note had been the start of everything.

"I think so." She nodded firmly, growing more convinced that the people she was seeing were just in her mind, even though all of her senses were crying out that they were real, fear and uncertainly giving way to disgust and indignation. How could she have missed something so obvious before? Even worse, how could those people claim to have saved them while treating them like this? She swings her lengs under the table, grimacing at the sickening crunch that only she could hear resounding through the room as her heel makes contact with one of the moaning figure's heads. "I don't get it though, what are they hoping to accomplish? This isn't even experimentation anymore, it's torture!"

[lethechained]

Naminé nodded back, although not as firmly; she had no more need to confirm the idea to herself. By now she was well aware that the experiments were responsible for a lot of what was going on, because surely if it wasn't some outside force she wouldn't even be capable of feeling like this. Not when she didn't have a heart. The logic made sense, but the horrible sloth that had come over her was something at least partially rooted in the emotions she shouldn't have been able to have. "Torture might be part of the experiment... if they're studying something to do with the reactions, or the emotions involved."

Had she the drive, she might have shrugged. It would have only served to look hopeless, anyway. "Or maybe they just want us to be so scared that we'll cooperate." She was no stranger to that.

[fangirls]

"So much for being happy here." Marta rolled her eyes, though she was visibly less tense now, glancing back at Namine now. The blond girl was probably right, whoever was behind all of this was just looking to torture them, to break them down without even giving them a proper explanation (there was no way she'd just accept that these people had saved her.)

"If that's what they're hoping for then the best thing we can do is to refuse to participate, right? We might be stuck in this creepy tower for now..." Her head began to tilt down as she felt something gripping her heel before bringing it back up, making a concerted effort to ignore it. It wasn't real. There was no way it could be rule. It was just an image that they'd put in her head. "But that doesn't mean that we have to just accept it. If we let this place decide how we act and feel and see things, then we're just going to be made into this place's puppets, and there's no way I'm just going to sit back and let that happen!"

[lethechained]

So much for being happy there, indeed. Naminé resisted the urge to amend that 'for now' to 'forever'; she couldn't help thinking that it was the truth because of both the effects of her experiment group and her own experiences, and she felt cruel to leave this girl to those thoughts, but... Marta's efforts were heartening, even in Naminé's current state. It was funny - she was reminded of another part of her own experiences, a more hopeful part. It still seemed so unlikely that they might be freed, but her reinforced fears balked at going up against someone who was trying to hold on to hope, and her guilt was not enough to make up for that.

"...Right." The fact that they might not ever get out didn't mean that they couldn't try to hold on to themselves. She'd been trying to do that for some time, but the logic had just fit so well with what she'd already known. "But... how are you going to stop it?" She was genuinely curious. Willpower, perhaps?