Breakfast With a Side of Hopelessness

[lethechained]

Characters:  Naminé (lethechained)
Setting: Floor 1, the cafeteria
Format: Starting this way, will match.
Summary: Naminé's been spending most of the event trying to fight the experiment effects, but it looks like it's a battle she's losing. (Attempting to fight transition to Stage 3.)
Warnings: Angst, hopelessness, lethargy. She's still got enough of a handle on

Comments

Could work, assuming it actually has a surface for stuff to bounce off of. :O

[lethechained]

Naminé recieved the smile with a shift in her own expression toward momentary surprise. Funny; this state of mind almost made her feel like she was back in Castle Oblivion, so such a kind gesture, even a small one, was rather startling and out of place. At first she thought she should smile back, but then that thought was ambushed by the thought that what did it matter, anyway? But then that thought was shoved aside because even though they might never get out of there, kindness was still worthwhile. It might help, a little, even if it wouldn't make a real difference. So, with an effort, she smiled back. "I meant it. It's very kind of you to try to help."

This time Naminé did not tense when Aqua stepped closer, although she did straighten up slightly. If Aqua was going to exact some kind of punishment, wouldn't it have happened already? Why waste time talking to her first? At the question, Naminé glanced down at her still-half-full plate, then back up. "I... should probably finish what I started. You're right, I-- should eat." It was what had gotten her out of bed in the first place that morning, even if it HAD taken a long time and some serious hunger pangs to convince her. No use starving to death, anyway, as long as she could still avoid that particular end. Come to think of it, "What about you?"

oh dear god sorry for the late reply

[prayerless]

Naminé smiling fed Aqua's empathetic tendencies enough to sustain her own smile as she spoke. "I don't know what kind of Master I would be if I wasn't helpful." Xehanort, probably, but she was absolutely not going to bring up that topic. She'd probably end up fit to burst with all kinds of deranged accusations if she started thinking too hard about that monster of a man.

Her gaze shifted towards the kitchen. She resisted the compulsion to take down notes on the appearance of the door. While her main motivation for coming here had been for investigation, it wouldn't hurt to eat while she was down here. Something could happen that would restrict access to the food supply at any moment, so who knew when she'd get another chance?

(She'd admonish herself later for worrying about something so implausible.)

"I think I will, too," replied the mage amiably. It was a good thing Aqua was in the habit of thinking before speaking and not the other way around, because the silent amendment of as long as the food isn't poisoned was definitely not something she wanted to touch on while trying to encourage someone else to feed themselves.

She ignored the thought and returned her attentions to Naminé to give a sisterly smile. "Do you want me to get anything else for you while I'm up?"

sjbgfjkgf it's okay ;;

[lethechained]

Naminé nearly told her that she was indeed a good Master, but her sense got the better of that thought, since, despite Aqua's obvious self-control, especially in comparison to the way Ven had acted, the blonde girl still didn't think it wise to start saying things that might make Aqua notice that Naminé knew some things she shouldn't have been able to. That was what had set Ven off, and she wasn't eager to try it to find out whether Aqua would react similarly. So, for the time being, Naminé bit her tongue, careful to keep her smile from fading too much at those thoughts.

It was easier when Aqua spoke again and Naminé could tilt her head a little and nod, comforted by the amiability in her tone. From the memories she'd seen, she'd come to think of Aqua a pleasant person, and honestly quite admirable. Despite the situation, it was nice to get to speak to her, and also quite nice to be smiled at. It was a small comfort, but it was still a comfort. Naminé was wary, of course, as the situation warranted, but it was better than it could have been. As for Aqua's question, Naminé paused to consider it, then shook her head. "No, that's okay." She was still hungry, yes, but she'd never been able to eat much. Her almost unhealthy weight was evidence enough of that. "But thank you." Even after having hardly eaten in a day, she wasn't sure she could handle much more once she'd finished what she already had.

/sob how could i let a tag sit for like ten days

[prayerless]

"Alright," Aqua conceded politely. "I'll be right back, then." She wasn't fond of the idea of being alone with her hyperactive thoughts for too long, so she'd spend her time only sparingly in the kitchen. She crossed the distance of the dining area, and as soon as she'd crossed the threshold to the kitchen, she found herself scrutinizing her surroundings.

It was so tempting to start taking notes on the littlest things (how was this place so immaculate?), but Aqua didn't intend to keep Naminé waiting.

It took some time to find foods that she was satisfied wouldn't harm her and thoroughly wash the utensils she'd plucked from the drawers, but she eventually emerged with a plate of carefully-sliced fruit and a glass of water. (The water was easiest to check for impurities.) Master Keeper was hung around her wrist by the guard, since both hands were occupied. Not the most comfortable way to carry it, but she didn't dare leave it behind.

She smiled down at Naminé as she approached the other girl's table. "Mind if I sit down?" queried the woman with a light chuckle.

i-it happens ;A;

[lethechained]

Naminé watched her go, then turned back to her own food. Regarding it once more, she found that it was definitely more appealing than before. Funny, how much a little bit of company helped. Even if it helped because it made her ashamed to have allowed herself to get so down, it still helped. Did it really matter what the reason was? There was more to it than that, anyway. In all this mess it was so easy to forget that she wasn't still trapped somewhere surrounded by people who saw fit to make her life more unpleasant and otherwise alone. Even if everyone would be trapped here forever, to be poked and prodded and mistreated for the rest of their lives... if nothing else, they had each other, and that was something she'd never been able to say before.

What more could she have asked for? It was what she'd craved so deeply for so, so long. She had no heart with which to truly enjoy it, and she'd never be able to travel to the worlds she'd wanted to see, she was no longer alone. They weren't the people she'd thought of, but that was only because she'd never met them before. Perhaps it was selfish, to tell herself that she really should be satisfied, because surely the others were not so easy to please, and if they weren't happy here, she would always feel bad about it. (Insofar as she was capable.)

In her distraction she'd barely managed to start picking at her food by the time Aqua returned. It was just as well; she wasn't quite certain about the etiquette involved when eating around someone else, more specifically whether or not she was supposed to wait for Aqua. She raised her head when questioned, saw the smile, and smiled back. "No, not at all." If that was a joke it was at first lost on her, but the chuckle made her think of the possibility, only a bit too late.

b-but i don't like tagging slowly

[prayerless]

The question wasn't so much a joke as something in good humor -- after all, if Naminé had kept her company this long, the seat was basically a formality. But it didn't hurt to laugh when you were trying to stay positive. "Thank you."

She set the food and water down on the table by Naminé's place once given permission. Master Keeper was then slid off of her wrist and into her hand, laid on the area which was to be at her opposite side from Naminé once Aqua sat down. After her hands were freed, she slid into the seat next to Naminé with a smile.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are your hobbies?" she started conversationally. "We didn't meet under the best circumstances, so maybe it would be nice to get to know each other better."

:C th-this is a good thing

[lethechained]

Uncertain whether she was supposed to say 'you're welcome', Naminé hesitated, then decided it was probably better to say it, so there was a slightly late, "You're welcome...!" Not that the girl had done anything worth being thanked over, but she supposed it was probably a matter of politeness.

It was perhaps to Aqua's credit that Naminé did not feel the need to watch the Keyblade very closely even when it was moving, because after all of that and what she knew of Aqua, it was hard for her to imagine that Aqua might have some alterior motive for speaking to her for so long, whether Naminé was unused to the level of kindness or not. The question was obviously not something she was expecting, and it showed. That last bit was rather bittersweet because it reminded her of what had happened to Roxas at the same time that it told her that someone thought it would be nice to get to know her. In the end her mouth settled into a smile that could have been bigger, but was still decidedly there. "Maybe...!" Definitely, more like, but maybe not as much for Aqua as for her. "Um-- I... like to draw." That was the answer she usually armed herself with for that question, since, really, it was the only thing that she had managed to convince herself to own as something she 'liked', as much as she was capable of liking anything.

[prayerless]

If Aqua noticed Naminé's flub with her manners, she didn't comment. It wasn't her place to judge the girl's etiquette, and besides, she didn't know what kind of circumstances Naminé may have come from. It was enough that she was trying.

The older woman listened with interest, her body turned slightly towards Naminé and one arm resting on the table in front of her plate. She didn't expect such a brief answer. In fact, she was quiet for a few seconds afterwards, expecting an addendum or two. But when none came, she gave a small smile. "Really? Was your sketchbook in your trunk?" She didn't want to make Naminé feel self-conscious about her interests (or potential lack of them), so she latched onto the one thread she was given. For some reason, it didn't really surprise her that Naminé would have a hobby like that. Introverts (Naminé certainly seemed to be one) lent themselves well to artistic pursuits.

[lethechained]

The pause was not lost on Naminé, but her attempts to think of something else with which to fill the void were in vain - or at least, she didn't manage to think of anything before Aqua continued and freed her from the conundrum. Still, the question burned in the back of her mind. Perhaps only being prepared with an answer so small wasn't enough. Another hobby, her yet-beset mind was quick to remind her, would be pointless... and yet, wouldn't it also make things a little more bearable?

"Yes. They... gave me a lot to work with." A distraction, perhaps, or maybe it was just that those items made up the bulk of her worldly possessions, if anything really could be counted as belonging to her. "There was more than one, and a lot of paper, and crayons, and pencils, and other things."

[prayerless]

Most of Aqua's own hobbies were things that contributed to her skill as a Keybearer, so sometimes her definitions of the words "work" and "play" overlapped. Maybe that defeated the point of a hobby, but if they were things she enjoyed doing regardless, why not kill two birds with one stone?

She poked at her food, making steady work of it during the pauses where it was polite. Most of her attention was devoted to her companion, though. "That's really nice," Aqua began. Not to refer to any aspect of the Tower -- even its selection of sentimental objects from home for each of its residents -- as "nice", but it was good that Naminé had options. "I'm not very good at drawing, but I can make things." She had a soft spot for crafts, if the Wayfinders were any indication.

"Could I see some of your pictures some time?"

[lethechained]

Ironically enough, Naminé's interest in drawing was rather similar. It had begun as part of her work because it helped with the use of her powers, and from there it had just... continued. She hadn't known what else to do when she wasn't using her powers, and so she'd continued to draw.

Naminé's attention to her food was also limited, but enough for her to slowly clear more space on her plate. The mention of the selection of options being "nice" made her nod in response. She did not make any mention of the fact that she had thought as much, regarding Aqua and making things. "That sounds like fun." At least, since drawing was "fun", in her understanding, surely making other things could also be that way.

The blonde girl blinked, looking briefly surprised at the question, but wasn't about to say no. "--Sure. If you want to."

[prayerless]

"I'd like to see them," Aqua returned warmly. Her creeping paranoia had to chime in 'and maybe this way I can see if you're up to something', but she knew that wasn't the true reason she had asked (or she was pretty sure she knew). She idly moved a few morsels of fruit back and forth on her plate with the fork. Honestly, she hoped this "experiment" would come to an end soon. It was wearing her a bit thin, in more ways than one, and she was growing more and more uncomfortable with the fact that she wasn't in control of her own thoughts.

"It is fun," she eventually added, in regard to her craftsmanship. "Maybe I could teach you how to make a good-luck charm," offered the woman after a moment, giving Naminé a politely enthusiastic look. "If you don't already know."

[lethechained]

"Okay, then." A smile crept across her face, and although it had to be encouraged, she did mean it. Aqua certainly wasn't the only one who would appreciate the end of the experiments; Naminé would have liked to be able to smile without feeling a bit guilty. The remains of her own meal were slowly dwindling, now that she could muster the interest to eat.

It was quite fortunate for Naminé that she wasn't attempting to swallow when Aqua mentioned teaching her to make a good luck charm and, more jarringly, if she didn't already know, because otherwise, the blonde girl would probably have choked. Instead, she just stilled, then turned to look at Aqua again a little more slowly than necessary. Kairi... was the one who made good luck charms. Naminé had only ever made false ones, horrible, manipulative shams for the purpose of tricking people into thinking she meant something to them. For an instant, she could almost have believed that Aqua knew, somehow, that someone had told her-- but that look, polite though it was, was still enthusiastic. Quick to try to compose herself, Naminé worked to ease her face into a more comfortable expression and only marginally succeeded. "I..." Now, if only she'd come up with a suitable answer in that time. "... I think that might be fun." She didn't have the heart to reject her, even though an instant later she regretted it. There were so many reasons she shouldn't do that, shouldn't take up Aqua's time, but something in her made her say yes.

[prayerless]

Aqua gradually picked away at her food in the time it took Naminé to respond, but the strange reaction unfortunately did not go without notice. She immediately sprang into all sorts of wild theories: maybe she did already know, and why would she want to hide something like that if she did? Did she know more than what she was saying? Or maybe she just didn't want to spend time with Aqua -- maybe she was secretly harboring some kind of hatred.

Goodness gracious, it was only a pause.

...and a weird expression. And stumbling over words-- okay, okay. Think about it later if it's that important. Conversation was now. Aqua's enthusiasm became something a little more subdued and sympathetic. "You don't have to, if you're worried about it. But I think it would be nice -- something to hold onto when hope seems far away." She certainly had never expected her Wayfinder to turn into what it did. It seemed to her like Naminé could use something that would remind her to hope.

[lethechained]

Something she could hold on to....

That nagging hopeless feeling wouldn't let her get away without a 'what good would it do?' Still, maybe that was why she'd said yes in the first place - it was something tangible, something to do, something that wasn't fake, something to remind her. She knew creating real charms wouldn't make the sting of any of the false ones she'd made go away. It might even make it worse. And yet... poor pennance though it might be, the idea was appealing. At the same time, shame crept up from the back of her mind. Who did she think she was, trying to make charms like Kairi? On one level she was curious to try it herself, but on another it felt like some kind of despicable attempted usurpation of Kairi's role. Kairi was the one who was real; Kairi was the one who had value, who made things that meant something to someone. Feeling a little ill, Naminé almost took it back, almost said that she'd changed her mind, but it was that last comment that kept her on course.

If she was the only one holding on to it, then what harm could it do? If it might help keep her going so that she wasn't a burden to others, then wasn't it worth it? "...No, it's okay. I-- I want to learn." And keep it to herself, once she had.

[prayerless]

She wore a delighted smile at Naminé's response. "The fifteenth floor has a workshop. We could do it there," suggested the mage. "I didn't bring any materials with me, but I bet we could find something to use." Between her magic and her inherent craftiness, Aqua didn't doubt that there would be enough to work with on that floor. If none of the tools tried to kill them, anyways.

That wasn't something she really wanted to think about. "I'm in Room 1-07," she went on, "If you ever need to find me. I'm in the libraries a lot, too." She almost instantly regretted telling Naminé her room number, as she was hit with a flood of possibilities ranging from an attack in her sleep to an ambush by an eavesdropper. She'd just have to put some enchantments around her bed. She wouldn't have anything to worry about if Naminé was truly harmless.