For
lovefujitez, who wanted "If you don't risk anything, you risk more!"
Title: Risk
Pairing: TezuFuji
Rating: G
Wodcount: 1,549
Notes: Um, this was just going to be a drabble, but it kind of took off. (: Enjoy!
He was reading quietly in Criminal Law when the teacher called his name. Startled, he looked up questioningly, placing a finger in his book to keep his place.
“Tezuka-kun, there’s someone in the hall for you.” He hadn’t heard the knock; he must have been too absorbed. The news was curious. It was the middle of the morning, when most students were attending class, and who could possibly be asking for him?
“Thank you, sensei,” he replied dutifully. He stood and walked out into the hallway, where he was greeted by a familiar smiling face.
“Ah, Tezuka!” A warm smile. “I have a gift for you.”
“Syuusuke…” He left the ‘why are you here?’ to his glance, looking down at his flat mate.
“Here, it’s a planner.” He held out a small blue booklet with sunflowers on the front. “Isn’t it cute? I didn’t know the bookstore carried planners, though I suppose it isn’t really surprising.” He held the book out, blue eyes cheerful. “I thought you might need a new one, since your other one got wet.”
“Thank you, but don’t you have class right now?” He took the booklet, letting their fingers brush for a moment. He was relatively certain Syuusuke’s journalism class was before lunch, because he was always talking about the latest news.
“Yes, but you forgot your bento.”
“Thank you.” Wondering why his flat mate hadn’t just given him the lunch in the first place, he graciously accepted the lacquered box and returned to class.
---
The little planner didn’t cross his mind again until he was taking down the homework two hours later. Fuji had been right - his old planner had fallen into a puddle some weeks ago, and trying to sort it out was a little like surgery now. He was grateful for the new one as he turned to the fresh white page marked September 15. He was a little surprised to see that there was already writing in the margin, a neatly penned message that read
“Nothing, of course, begins at the time you think it did.”
-Lillian Hellman
in Syuusuke’s best handwriting. He glanced at the next day and so on throughout the month, but there were no more quotes. Shaking his head to himself, he finished writing his assignment and closed the planner.
---
He thought about asking Fuji about it when they met for lunch, but a text message informed him cheekily - (; - that his friend was going to be covering an art exhibit for the school paper instead. Despite this unexpected change of plans, he sat down by their traditional lunch spot, a large tree on campus between the law and art schools, and took out his bento.
“Wai~, Tezuka-kun is so lucky to have such a wonderful girlfriend,” a classmate exclaimed, catching sight of his artfully-arranged vegetables. He thought about setting her straight, telling her that that was only one of Fuji’s more whimsical hobbies, but in the end he just settled for nodding, telling her yes, I’m very lucky aren’t I? She giggled her way back to her group of her friends, leaving Tezuka to contemplate his food.
---
“Things don’t begin when you think…?” he wondered aloud that evening, as Syuusuke bustled around in their shared kitchen. He was staring at his textbook and not absorbing a word of it.
“Hm, did you say something?” asked Fuji, looking up from his prized cactus. It seemed to be wilting a little, and he was trying to decide whether to buy “him” a “girlfriend.”
“No, it was nothing.” Tezuka turned back to the bylaws before him, surprised that the mysterious quote was still with him.
“Saa, if you insist. Perhaps you just need a little more water?” It took Tezuka a minute to realize he was talking to the cactus and that the smaller boy wasn’t listening anymore.
---
The next day he took out the planner with a certain degree of anticipation, flipping carefully to the 16th. As he had half suspected, in the margin beside the date there was the message
“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.”
-Richard Bach
Slightly bemused, he took down his work and slipped the booklet away, though he made sure to put in a place where it wouldn’t get lost.
---
Every day there was a new quote, penned in down the margin or above the notes section in perfect hand. He began to think of it like a game, one he had to figure out. The quotes always seemed to be motivational in nature, and he wondered whether it was just one of Syuusuke’s fancies. But every now and then he’d get the feeling that they were related to something he should be picking up on.
Every night he would place the planner by his bedside table and watch it until he fell asleep. Every morning there would be a new message. He never saw Syuusuke take the planner, but it wasn’t unusual for the boy to stay up later than him. In any case, the smaller boy was more diligent about the quotes than he was about most things. Their apartment was littered with half-finished projects, cameras, ubiquitous gardening supplies…
It was surprising when Tezuka opened the book and found no quote.
---
It was a few days into December. Syuusuke had slept late again, which was all right because his classes didn’t start until eleven, so they hadn’t spoken before Tezuka had gone to Criminal Law.
He opened the planner early, ready for his professor’s homework dictation, but more eager to see what his flat mate had written. Scanning the page, however, he came up blank. There were no words written there. No quote.
As soon as he left class, he called Syuusuke.
“Hello?”
“…Syuusuke?” The voice on the end of the line was decidedly female, and though Fuji’s voice could occasionally be described as effeminate, this was obviously not him.
“No, this is Nurse Takaya. Who’s this?”
“Nurse? What happened?” Then, in a more rational tone, “My name is Tezuka Kunimitsu. Fuji-kun is my flat mate.”
“Oh, I see. Yes, it seems he was asking after you. Don’t worry, dear, it was just appendicitis. He’s in recovery.”
Tezuka was already pulling on his coat.
---
He arrived about twenty minutes later and was admitted surprisingly fast to Syuusuke’s room on the second floor. The boy was lying in a bed looking wan, but he smiled to see Tezuka, waving his fingers.
“Syuusuke, are you all right?”
“‘Our wishes are presentiments of the abilities that lie in us, harbingers of what we will be able to accomplish.’ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.”
“What?” Had the operation done something to him? Tezuka stared at him mutely, gaze searching.
“I said ‘Our wishes are presentiments of the abilities that lie in us, harbingers of what we will be able to accomplish.’ It’s by Goethe. Did you bring the planner?”
“No, it’s in the car.” He replied, relief flooding him as he sat down beside the bed.
“Pity. I was too sick last night to write it in.” He sighed. “Do you have a pen?” He wouldn’t rest until Tezuka had written it down perfectly on his hand in permanent marker, to be transferred at a later date.
---
February 1st, Tezuka opened the book to find not a quote but a question scrawled in loosely at the top of the page.
Do good things come to those who wait?
He didn’t know. When he asked Fuji about it, all he got was a smile and ten different changes of subject.
---
February 2nd said RISK.
---
Syuusuke was playing with his cacti when he got home that evening, lining them up on the counter and amiably telling them about his day. Not wanting to interrupt, Tezuka put away his shoes and bag, sitting down on the couch, when he heard his name.
“Oh yes, Kunimitsu-” he always called him by his given name at home “-Kunimitsu is so silly sometimes. I wonder if he’ll ever find out…?” Tezuka looked over the back of the sofa to find Syuusuke smiling at him pensively over his Ariocarpus trigonus.
Feeling rather odd, he surprised himself by asking “Do you want to play a game tonight?”
“A game?” asked the boy, eyes opening a little. “What kind? A board game?” He smiled. “Saa, we haven’t played one in a while, have we? Chess? Or Scrabble?”
“Risk.”
Bemused, Syuusuke came to sit across from him in the paint-spattered armchair. “I see. That can be a dangerous game to play, ‘Mitsu.” He smiled curiously, regarding his former buchou with an assessing eye.
“I know. But I want to know how it will go.” He could feel the momentum of the conversation slipping away from him, but to where he didn’t know. Syuusuke took on a thoughtful expression, curling up against the cushion with his knees over the edge of the arm.
“Did you know someone said ‘If you don’t risk anything, you risk more’? Do you believe that?”
“I don’t know.” Syuusuke got up and came over to sit beside him, leaning absently on his shoulder.
“I think you should always go after your dreams.” His hand was small but very warm, clasped in Tezuka’s.
“So do I.”
------------
Comments and crits appreciated!