(no subject)
I feel like no big change for me has been truly good. I have mixed feelings on everything...life, college, relationships. I've never been so happy because Alex is back in my life again. But for some reason I have no control over everything thats going on and that makes me sad. There's something thats missing and I don't know what it is. Or maybe everything's finally complete - maybe being independent has finally cleared my head and I'm afraid of what's coming...or more afraid of going back. Going back to the way things were is my worst fear. Things are great on the surface, but in actuality they suck. Idk if I want to make it superficially great and live the lie, or admit I'm not as happy as I seem. Maybe I'm not really even fooling anyone. Livejournal you suck for your lack of feedback.