My Love Letter to Delp...which may or may not ever be sent. :P
My dearest Delp,
Upon this canvas I shall spill my soul's inner-most desires for you, and upon my chest I carve your name with the dagger of carnal desire, so the world may knoweth that only you lie within my heart.
Such charm and radiant beauty as yours could calm the wildest beast and entice the devil himself into giving his soul for you, just so he could look upon your face.
I've always found your beautiful bald to be really sexy! I love the way it shines in the sunlight like a marble and have often wondered if you would consider putting solar panels on there. Oh darling think of the electricity we can generate and use, and of course we will be helping the environment.
I love going out to the movies with you my love. I think its fantastic to watch you get excited about a film and then walk out of there when you realise there are no sex scenes or close-ups of peoples bums. Remember you did that in Star Wars? It was cute how you tried to get your money back and then failed. Oh I laughed!
Words alone cannot express how unique my love is for you. I love you, and you only, I swear that to you my love ....having said that I do love my guitar which is a fantastic piece of kit cos you can play nice tunes on it. Even though I don't really know any songs, and I just love playing air guitar with it, only with real guitar but thats not important right now! (But if you ever see me drooling over it, then it is important, unless you get mad because I am not giving you any attention)
I have to tell you one thing though. I really do love your bum. I think that is the most amazing part of you, and is the most amazing thing on this planet! God, I wish I could do nothing but stare at your beautiful bum all day (besides eating, drinking and sleeping of course). That would be pure heaven for me!
Anyhow my love, I must bring this letter to an end now. But I must tell you something. I've always wondered what you would look like in Leapord Skin underwear. I really think you would be the hottest thing on this planet in Leapord Skin underwear and you could easily overthrow any model out there! If you wear those for me, I promise to worship you and treat you like royalty (Just so long as you don't make me clean your toenails with a toothbrush! I draw the line there).
I will forever be thinking about you, and I love you with every beat from my aching, burning heart which will wither away and die without your sweet nectar-like words!
Eternally loving you, with flames of desire,
Anonymous
Upon this canvas I shall spill my soul's inner-most desires for you, and upon my chest I carve your name with the dagger of carnal desire, so the world may knoweth that only you lie within my heart.
Such charm and radiant beauty as yours could calm the wildest beast and entice the devil himself into giving his soul for you, just so he could look upon your face.
I've always found your beautiful bald to be really sexy! I love the way it shines in the sunlight like a marble and have often wondered if you would consider putting solar panels on there. Oh darling think of the electricity we can generate and use, and of course we will be helping the environment.
I love going out to the movies with you my love. I think its fantastic to watch you get excited about a film and then walk out of there when you realise there are no sex scenes or close-ups of peoples bums. Remember you did that in Star Wars? It was cute how you tried to get your money back and then failed. Oh I laughed!
Words alone cannot express how unique my love is for you. I love you, and you only, I swear that to you my love ....having said that I do love my guitar which is a fantastic piece of kit cos you can play nice tunes on it. Even though I don't really know any songs, and I just love playing air guitar with it, only with real guitar but thats not important right now! (But if you ever see me drooling over it, then it is important, unless you get mad because I am not giving you any attention)
I have to tell you one thing though. I really do love your bum. I think that is the most amazing part of you, and is the most amazing thing on this planet! God, I wish I could do nothing but stare at your beautiful bum all day (besides eating, drinking and sleeping of course). That would be pure heaven for me!
Anyhow my love, I must bring this letter to an end now. But I must tell you something. I've always wondered what you would look like in Leapord Skin underwear. I really think you would be the hottest thing on this planet in Leapord Skin underwear and you could easily overthrow any model out there! If you wear those for me, I promise to worship you and treat you like royalty (Just so long as you don't make me clean your toenails with a toothbrush! I draw the line there).
I will forever be thinking about you, and I love you with every beat from my aching, burning heart which will wither away and die without your sweet nectar-like words!
Eternally loving you, with flames of desire,
Anonymous