how can i get closer but be further away?

[tout_le_moi]

this weekend was such a relaxing weekend. i loved it. it consisted of mainly lounging by the pool or beach with my girls and then hanging out with all the important guys in my life at night. i think it was one of the best weekends i have had in a long time.
I was thinking about it, well actually geoff asked me if im excited for my bday and i said its too far away, but really its not, and you know what, i am really excited for my birthday. happy birthday to keith and matt also who are super cool because there bdays are in april. you know whats weird, all of my best friends are born in april(me matt keith), or january(dionne taylor geoff) well minus lee who had to be born in the dumb month of july, jk but the majority at least.
I am also really really excited for easter, probably because my mom and dad still hide easter eggs for me and my brother. they are the coolest parents ever! i think we should all dye eggs together soon, it would be fun.
Oh and i got my ear pierced finally. yay! it didnt hurt at all. what if i became a piercing junky who one day looked normal and then pretty soon i come back at the ten year reunion and i have holes all over my body. okay that was a random thought.
oh and star wars episode 3 is coming soon. who wants to see it with me?

Look around,
keep searching.
I ran away from
excitement, hope, laughter,
depression, sadness, pain.

All emotions lost,
nothing is the same.

It’s not that I am not all right,
it’s only that I am just okay.
What do you do when you just can’t feel?
Does emotions lost matter if nothing is real?

You know I am so back and forth,
well here I go again,
I changed my mind.
Emotions are back,
and all I feel is pain.