i can feel the gaze from those around me

[tourquemada]

days have been getting worse in quicker succession than normal. no gradual decline, just a fucking plateau. it hit me today, five minutes after i woke up, that i actually had to go through with today. there was no way to call in, a sick day on life. i've used them up.

my transmission needs to be replaced. my living situation is up in the air. my fuse is getting shorter. i have to close this week. the distance between me and normal human emotion is slowly widening while my need for solitude is growing larger.

but today all that is going to change.

i will make it change.