(no subject)
Im hurt, not just , emotionally, or mentally but most phyiscaly. I don't understand how and accident can turn into such anger..What posses someone to try and drown someone? Im so sick of being treated like a rag doll between my sister ALWAYS beating my ass very literally, from her blackmailing me, telling me im worthless becuase I cut, my dad who treats me like his own personal insult bag, and my mom who just looks the other way. Now am I by all means saying im a underprivliged abused kid. I just can't take trying to hard to make them all happy when they dont seem to appreciate it...My dad trys he really does, he wants a normal family just like I do but we arent that...everyday i feel like im going to scream. I try to hide it, pretend its all gunna go away and not to bring it on my friends. I feel like im being pulled in 80 diffrent directions and i just don't know witch is the right way to turn too.I don't know what to do, what to say, how to act. I'm supposed to be the happy goofy friend every one has but it seems like my world is crashing down infront of me and i can't joke my way out of it. I just can't be the university graduate my dad wants me to be, or the perfect daughter my mom wants me to be.
This probley sounds cluttered and un-understandable......i just cant get out what im feeling
fuck.