(no subject)
So apparently I have something up my ass and I need to lighten up a bit. Did it ever occur to people that I don't like getting called certain names EVERYTIME I'm online? Sometimes yeah its fun..but it gets old after awhile. Sorry if I don't lighten up. And maybe its other stuff that bugs me too...and maybe its not you, maybe it just happened to be you were the person that I yelled at that day..but no of course no one thinks of it like that. Its always my fault..it always has been, always will. So in my life I've almost died 3x...why couldn't I actually have died one of those 3? Maybe then I wouldn't have to put up with soo many people's shit. Everything and everyone back home is jsut depressing and upsetting. My grandma got really sick again so she probablly won't be here much longer and then I'll have no grandparents left at all, my friend in the hospital went downhill, I had to go to 2 funerals in less than a week.....yeah maybe I do need to lighten up but its kinda hard when you have all that going on. Maybe I just needed someone to talk to that could make me smile/laugh for once...guess that won't happen.......and then the holidays are coming up.....that just depresses me even more. Seeing everyone with their families, having fun, decorating for christmas, all that joyful shit. While both sides of my family hate each other, no one likes doing anything together, so we just sit at home and my parents fall asleep all day, they don't like to decorate(a tree thats it), they fight about gifts, they HATE shopping and all that accumulates to me hating the holidays. I guess I won't lighten up until after new years when everything goes back to normal at my house........so sorry if i'm a bitch but if you were in my situation- you would be pretty bitchy too.