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Character: Touga Kiryuu
Series: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Age: 17
Canon: Once upon a time there was a princess, and she was very sad, for her mother and father had died. Before the princess appeared a prince on a white horse. He dried her tears and taught the values of nobility and gender confusion. Eventually that princess went to Ohtori Academy, a school where magical rotating castles float upside-down over ridiculously tall duel-arena-topped corkscrew staircases, the chairman lures nearly every member of the cast into his unmarked red sports car, and everyone has fabulous hair.
And none could possess a more fabulous mane of shimmering crimson locks than Touga Kiryuu, president of the Student Council. A notorious playboy, Touga is surrounded by throngs of fangirls wherever he goes. He thinks of himself as a chivalrous ally to women, but in truth he's ruthlessly manipulative and often quite sadistic. Listen, can you hear it? If your soul has truly not given up, you should be able to hear the sound of his shirt flying open.
Sample Post:
Darling, we need to have a talk.
But first, I want to tell you that you look stunning tonight. It's true - when planted with the seeds of love, even a wilted rose can still blossom. Anyone could see that you're glowing in a way that goes even beyond how long we've been sitting near the lake. Only the purest of love could bring that light into your eyes. Eye. Let me get that for you.
And certainly, we've had some good times. That night you threw yourself into my window to get my attention. Holding your hand while sewing it back onto your wrist. The way you would lean over and gently nibble on the back of my head. More than anything, I'll never forget the day I knew that you'd given me your heart, because I'd found it in my locker. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I've never dated a girl like you before. This relationship will always be special to me.
Still, I've been contemplating it for awhile now, and I'm starting to think that this isn't meant to be. It's not you. We simply live in different worlds. God made the living and the dead separate for a reason. Couples like us don't end up in bliss, they end up on daytime talk shows. Even if we're together, we'll never be able to get married or share health insurance, and any children we might have would be unholy abominations against the laws of man and nature. Perhaps we'll rekindle our flame on the day of Judgment, but for now, it is the living women of this camp to whom I must dedicate my body and soul.
There there, don't cry. I know this is hard for you, but there are plenty of other eligible bachelors out there, ones who will give you all the love and respect and brains you deserve. Here, let me dry your eyes. Eye. No no, I've got it. I can only hope that we will still be friends.
...what do you mean, you're suing for custody of my brain?
95.3%
Series: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Age: 17
Canon: Once upon a time there was a princess, and she was very sad, for her mother and father had died. Before the princess appeared a prince on a white horse. He dried her tears and taught the values of nobility and gender confusion. Eventually that princess went to Ohtori Academy, a school where magical rotating castles float upside-down over ridiculously tall duel-arena-topped corkscrew staircases, the chairman lures nearly every member of the cast into his unmarked red sports car, and everyone has fabulous hair.
And none could possess a more fabulous mane of shimmering crimson locks than Touga Kiryuu, president of the Student Council. A notorious playboy, Touga is surrounded by throngs of fangirls wherever he goes. He thinks of himself as a chivalrous ally to women, but in truth he's ruthlessly manipulative and often quite sadistic. Listen, can you hear it? If your soul has truly not given up, you should be able to hear the sound of his shirt flying open.
Sample Post:
Darling, we need to have a talk.
But first, I want to tell you that you look stunning tonight. It's true - when planted with the seeds of love, even a wilted rose can still blossom. Anyone could see that you're glowing in a way that goes even beyond how long we've been sitting near the lake. Only the purest of love could bring that light into your eyes. Eye. Let me get that for you.
And certainly, we've had some good times. That night you threw yourself into my window to get my attention. Holding your hand while sewing it back onto your wrist. The way you would lean over and gently nibble on the back of my head. More than anything, I'll never forget the day I knew that you'd given me your heart, because I'd found it in my locker. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I've never dated a girl like you before. This relationship will always be special to me.
Still, I've been contemplating it for awhile now, and I'm starting to think that this isn't meant to be. It's not you. We simply live in different worlds. God made the living and the dead separate for a reason. Couples like us don't end up in bliss, they end up on daytime talk shows. Even if we're together, we'll never be able to get married or share health insurance, and any children we might have would be unholy abominations against the laws of man and nature. Perhaps we'll rekindle our flame on the day of Judgment, but for now, it is the living women of this camp to whom I must dedicate my body and soul.
There there, don't cry. I know this is hard for you, but there are plenty of other eligible bachelors out there, ones who will give you all the love and respect and brains you deserve. Here, let me dry your eyes. Eye. No no, I've got it. I can only hope that we will still be friends.
...what do you mean, you're suing for custody of my brain?
95.3%