(no subject)
ive realized that no matter where i am, whether it is in high school or college, whether im in california or arizona, that i need constant confirmation. I cant go days at a time without being reminded that my parents love me, or my friends love me, or a guy likes me. I worry a lot. especially at the beginning of any relationship. im scared a new friend will screw me over or betray my trust. so i am skeptical and anal, and believe everyone can be shady. it takes a lot for me to trust a friend because ive been betrayed one too many times. im scared my boy will start liking another girl. so i get jealous, yes ill admit it. i get insecure that im not as pretty as the girls hes hanging with. so i dont like to get involved. id rather keep it without the feelings, because i do not like being hurt. so when i am with a guy, he thinks im high maintenance because he always has to kiss me or hold my hand to remind me that he cares. it sounds juvenile and immature, but the fact of the matter is, i am who i am. my friends should care enough about me to WANT to earn my trust and a guy should care enough about me to WANT to make an effort to show that he cares and that i should not be insecure about the relationship.
i think this all started when i was four, because i was scared of the dark...
and now, i dont want to end up in it...
i think this all started when i was four, because i was scared of the dark...
and now, i dont want to end up in it...