(no subject)
I've done nothing but think all weekend. Nothing but think.
Recently i've been added by a fair few people i knew from school on myspace. Growing up these people were some of my favourite people...but gradually through the years we have lost touch, and then when i was 18 i moved out of Liverpool to Nottingham. Getting back in touch with these people has really just been like....Wow. A shock to the system.
Anyway all this has just made me think, question.
I've been a little down lately, not noticably down, but down. I go home at night, my housemates are at work, my friends are...well, they're all settled. And i'm just me, alone. I've been falling asleep at 8oclock everynight because i'm just so lonely by myself. I've been working...looking forward to the end of the day at work, going home....realising that there's nothing there, and just passing out in bed.
And when i do meet up with my friends, it depressed me. I feel like we're growing apart, it's not the same as it was. They've all bought houses, they spend weekend with their partners and their families. I don't have either in Nottingham, so i just lay in wait that they'll want to have a girlie night out, or they'll want to do something with me.
I don't want to live like this. But i feel trapped. I've been looking at things latey, just things to get me out of this rut. New jobs, courses, new flats, holidays. Just something that will grab me and give me a new lease of life. But i haven't found anything here.
I feel like it's the end of a relationship....there's nothing there anymore. 6 years of being here, i feel like my relationship with Nottingham is over. I do feel like i've reached the end.
I know in my heart that if i stay here, the depression will come back. I've been here before. And i always look for a way out.
I'm moving back to Liverpool. I'm going to speak to my mum and dad tonight.
I never thought i'd hear myself say it, but i don't want to be in Nottingham anymore. I've loved it for the six years i've lived here. But i don't think it can give me anything more.
I'm going to move in with my parents for a bit, and sign up with a temp agency until i find a permanent job. Once i get some money coming in, i'll look for my own place.
I want to do this. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
My Dad's retiring next month, he'll be 60. How nice would it be to get to know my dad again. I don't want for it to get so late that i look back and regret that i put them out of my life because i lived three hours away and it was too hard to maintain a relationship.
Recently i've been added by a fair few people i knew from school on myspace. Growing up these people were some of my favourite people...but gradually through the years we have lost touch, and then when i was 18 i moved out of Liverpool to Nottingham. Getting back in touch with these people has really just been like....Wow. A shock to the system.
Anyway all this has just made me think, question.
I've been a little down lately, not noticably down, but down. I go home at night, my housemates are at work, my friends are...well, they're all settled. And i'm just me, alone. I've been falling asleep at 8oclock everynight because i'm just so lonely by myself. I've been working...looking forward to the end of the day at work, going home....realising that there's nothing there, and just passing out in bed.
And when i do meet up with my friends, it depressed me. I feel like we're growing apart, it's not the same as it was. They've all bought houses, they spend weekend with their partners and their families. I don't have either in Nottingham, so i just lay in wait that they'll want to have a girlie night out, or they'll want to do something with me.
I don't want to live like this. But i feel trapped. I've been looking at things latey, just things to get me out of this rut. New jobs, courses, new flats, holidays. Just something that will grab me and give me a new lease of life. But i haven't found anything here.
I feel like it's the end of a relationship....there's nothing there anymore. 6 years of being here, i feel like my relationship with Nottingham is over. I do feel like i've reached the end.
I know in my heart that if i stay here, the depression will come back. I've been here before. And i always look for a way out.
I'm moving back to Liverpool. I'm going to speak to my mum and dad tonight.
I never thought i'd hear myself say it, but i don't want to be in Nottingham anymore. I've loved it for the six years i've lived here. But i don't think it can give me anything more.
I'm going to move in with my parents for a bit, and sign up with a temp agency until i find a permanent job. Once i get some money coming in, i'll look for my own place.
I want to do this. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
My Dad's retiring next month, he'll be 60. How nice would it be to get to know my dad again. I don't want for it to get so late that i look back and regret that i put them out of my life because i lived three hours away and it was too hard to maintain a relationship.