(no subject)
I can feel my biological clock ticking, and for some reason I get mixed messages about it.
All these people I knew from school are getting married and having babies. I'm happy for them, really. And while I'm being happy for them, I yearn to be able to put pictures of my babies on facebook for everyone to see. Look what I did! Aren't they beautiful?
Of course, last week my period was late by a day and a half, and it freaked the shit out of me. Looking back on it, I don't think the possibility of being pregnant was what freaked me out. It was knowing that if I had been pregnant, I'd need to tell Sean. And my family. And his family. But mainly Sean. And I know that it would have scared him absolutely shitless.
I was freaked out because I knew it would freak him out. If I didn't think it would, I probably would have been as happy as a clam.
I'm watching Sean now; he's immersed in the new Prince of Persia. I wish I could tell him how vividly I could imagine him kicked back on the couch with an xbox controller between his hands and a sleeping infant on his chest; Sean would be biting on his lips in that way that he does when he's concentrating really hard, and the infant would be sleeping steadily until it twitches at the sound of Sean's voice when he curses quietly upon seeing his character accidentally fall into water and drown.
My babies will be nerds. I'm sure of it.
I just wish my clock would just make up its mind.
All these people I knew from school are getting married and having babies. I'm happy for them, really. And while I'm being happy for them, I yearn to be able to put pictures of my babies on facebook for everyone to see. Look what I did! Aren't they beautiful?
Of course, last week my period was late by a day and a half, and it freaked the shit out of me. Looking back on it, I don't think the possibility of being pregnant was what freaked me out. It was knowing that if I had been pregnant, I'd need to tell Sean. And my family. And his family. But mainly Sean. And I know that it would have scared him absolutely shitless.
I was freaked out because I knew it would freak him out. If I didn't think it would, I probably would have been as happy as a clam.
I'm watching Sean now; he's immersed in the new Prince of Persia. I wish I could tell him how vividly I could imagine him kicked back on the couch with an xbox controller between his hands and a sleeping infant on his chest; Sean would be biting on his lips in that way that he does when he's concentrating really hard, and the infant would be sleeping steadily until it twitches at the sound of Sean's voice when he curses quietly upon seeing his character accidentally fall into water and drown.
My babies will be nerds. I'm sure of it.
I just wish my clock would just make up its mind.