May 22nd 08
I have not written in a while, at least not for fun so here I go:
So far, I am enjoying my break, apart from the private lessons, I have nothing to do. One part of me wishes to go and look for a short term employment and another part wants to live on the paltry sum which my scholarships and lessons provide. It’s after a very long time (11 years) that I have got 2 months of little respite from teaching and taking classes or lessons and research and I have been so far making a very good use of my free time.
The essay, ‘My personal god’ is coming to an end and I have started to read voraciously again. It has been such a pleasure. Yesterday was the full moon night (Budhapurnima) as my grandmother called it. Growing up, every full moon the whole house used to fast (in addition to 1 day a week fast which was observed except during the days of examination). When one is raised in a house run 7 women such mass hysteria towards the divine is inevitable. But truly, my fondest memories are of the days of fasting followed by feasting!
I still fast on full moon days, it brings me joy and peace. So two days in a row, I had to try my best to be "happy and appease the gods and conquer my personal demons through introspection" as the 7 women used to say and do..... I read ‘The Alchemist’ on Monday and Tuesday was reserved for the selected works of Louis Malle (La phantom India). I have attached a link from you-tube underneath. Among a lot of French men whose work I admire, Louis Malle’s are very dear to my heart. He very gracefully adapted Chekov’s Uncle Vanya, not to mention Au Revoir Les Enfants and Juliette Binoche, Jeremy Irons in Josephine Hart’s Damage. A master story teller and ‘crème de la crème’ director.
I have to say, La phantom India is not meant for the faint hearted who get bored in 1-2 hours (its 6 hours of footage with a commentary by Malle duirng his bohemian trip to India in late 60's). It’s unbelievable that with 60’s cameras he was able to get such a good picture quality, it could be his genius and the beauty of the country which made the 6 hours worth every minute! It was a feast for my eyes which satiated the growling of the stomach! I do eat on such days but its restricted food. I enjoyed my two days and on Tuesday evening, lit the candles, burnt some incense and let the light of full moon soak the house. As Edna Vincent said,
“My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light!”
Today was the day of technology: I brushed up on Microsoft 2007 and its new features. I am trying to quit smoking, I don’t know for how long, but today was quite good as my hands were quite occupied, typing and all… I pray that I quit this time. If not, it will be a learning experience and I will try again!
This evening, I met a man for ‘une liaison platonique’. I fear falling in love and at this time of life I am not in mood for “liaison pornographique”- hook ups as the barbarians will call it. We talked for good 4 hours: time just flew off on the wings of the dove. We shared a pot of tea at the café in town. A very nice man: amiable and good mannered. He was rather taken aback to see that I will have tattoos: later he told me that he was raised believing that they represent hoi polloi and he considers Indians to be sans tattoos and cigarettes! I was not a bit offended; he was honest and said it with the politest of rhetoric that I just had to like him for his honesty. He mailed me tonight to ask if I will join him for lunch on Saturday.
I believe that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ - I am opinionated and narrow minded BUT I have seen relations decaying because of lack of mystique and seduction. We tend to only relate these words in coital contexts but they are equally applicable in day to day interactions: Too much of anything is dangerous especially if that’s the thing you like. Over time if we don’t maintain this mystique and seduction the relationship will get boring, stagnant and marshy.
For tomorrow I am in a conflict of whether to stage a “retrospective of Pedro Almodóvar” for myself, be all bohemia and gay or to tie my apron and take up household chores? It’s past midnight and either way it will be a long day.
here is the clip of Malle's work:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWPIylNm4jc