Oh God I need you... NOW
It's getting harder to breathe... harder to hang on.... and totally hard to understand.
I always thought, that when things happened in my life where things changed... people would back me up. I thought that maybe... just once I could have something that made me so happy and made me feel complete here on this earth. But... since I've gotten this... people have lashed me. Have made me out to be this horrible person, like all their problems are my fault. Because I've "turned my back on them".
Sorry 'annonmyous'... who ever you are... leaving sounds like a beautiful thing. You say I am to 'loved' to do such a thing. But from my stand point... if I'm so loved.. and if people really do love me... they would help me understand, and they would understand me. and not try to make me sound like a horrible person.
My defences are lowering and I'm lossing strength... I can't hold myself up... I'm making TONS of mistakes... mistakes that I thought I wouldn't make... I thought I could stand firm against. But I'm making them.
One good thing has happened has happened in the past 2 weeks.... I had a AWESOME day in ballet last night. I didn't even want to be there, I was feeling like crap.. I didn't want to dance. I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing... it just came out... and it was encouraging. At least one thing is going for me.....
DADDY I NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!