where chance and chaos fell apart

[tothewind]

&this is my heart
who has conquered as little as
exile and ignominy and bonds and pain
having to thrive under evil
and make beauty from pain
needing more
feeling more
a wilted flower

&this is my mind
this garden
building it's own ruin
having to stand only by it's own ignorance
a forbidden knowledge
a forbidden faith
corrupted; almost childlike
with more desire to know; to taste
a poisonous thirst

&this is my face
my song
my terror
with answerable pains; a lingering disease
deceivable and vain
such torment should not be confined
the ugly beauty
true slavery
it makes me weep
it makes me feel
cheap
beautiful
strong

trapped.