so fucking selfish

[tothewind]

oh let me crawl into a hole and turn to ashes.
i don't know how to fix myself anymore
i forgot how to change, to breathe,
to turn my heart into stone

i'm living in this strangers conscience
i know what's going to happen next
& everytime i think about it, i feel tired,
heavy.
then i hold my chin up to the veil once more
and pretend to have a backbone again.
i pretend to have hope.

i'm a million miles away right now,
keeping my heart warm, & to myself.
he told me to never allow myself to
love anyone completely.
he also thinks that he's beautiful
does that make him vain?

weighing me down
weighing me down

& i know
because when he feels inspired,
he calls me up
and sings to me

hold me back
hold me back
hold me back

i'm way too reasonable to believe that i'll ever make it
& i'm way too passionate to just forget about it

she is my friend who
speaks bad about me
follow your heart
she says
follow your intuition
he tells me
follow
follow
they said