Bonekill [Jrock!Narutoorgy; R]
Title: Bonekill
Author: the-lady-lamb (with a lot of input and help from judo_creature and a1kuna)
Genre: Naruto
Sub-genre: Porn/Fanservice/Jrock/AU/Amazing
Summary: Sakura's just as into fanservice as the next girl, but when that fanservice involves your boyfriend in front of a crowd of just under six-thousand screaming fans and goes on for two hours, it starts to weigh on you. [NaruOrgy in the extreme. AU.]
Rated: R for hip gyrations that will make your nose bleed.
Author's Notes: judo_creature and a1kuna helped me see this one through. Literally. Best idea ever - make our favorite Naruto boys into a Jrock band and piss off Sakura muse with epic fanservice. Everyone who reads this owes boners to the three of us, Saga, the GazettE, and Miyavi. ...to name a few. Oh thank you, youtube. Thank you.
Bonekill
He's going to go through with it and she knows he's going to go through with it because he has done it every single other live and why would the live in Tokyo be any different. Simple: it won't be. She knows it won't be, because even with the VIP badge around her neck, the same as Tenten's, and the same as Karin's, she's not out there playing with them. She's here. Standing just out of sight of the stadium. Arms crossed. Face flat. Jaw clenched. Ears stuffed with plugs because she's right next to the amps and it is too loud.
It's ironic, actually. Almost painfully so. Naruto's doing a Ludo cover, loudly, well, even, and who'd have guessed he'd be a singer, dammit, she knew he'd seemed abnormal at first with the facial scars and the tattoos lacing up and down his stomach and his back and the gratuitous ear piercings. She'd figured he was an artist, and she was right and horribly, horribly wrong at the same time. Just like it is horribly, horribly difficult to listen to him try to sing in English. He gets the melody perfect but the words themselves are so terribly mangled and mispronounced it is almost difficult to listen to him. She supposes that the difficulty should be that he's wearing makeup and nail polish that she is responsible for. Naruto is an artist. A musician. It's just too perfect, such a romantic cliché that she's stayed with him long past the point where she knew how to fall out of love with him. Maybe she knew at one point. She doesn't anymore.
But this is ridiculous.
He's singing about a woman, which would be comforting only if she were out on that stage, or there was a single woman in the audience who didn't think he was singing it to them. Actually, Sakura's nearly gotten over the thing with the fans. Almost. They creep her out - sure, she used to be one of them, for a completely different band, the one Sasuke used to be in, but she was never like this. She never looked at them and got wet. Well, she did once because Naruto has a tape from one of their lives and likes to watch it and jerk himself off whenever there isn't anyone around, and she happened to have been discounted from the entirety of "anyone" by the time she caught him doing it. Interesting night, actually.
Ridiculous.
This. Is. Ridiculous.
Naruto leans into a deep, long note and hangs his head back. Suigetsu leans forward and bites his throat pointedly and Naruto's rolling sound of ecstasy punctuates the explosion of noise from the crowd. Suigetsu plays a few wailing notes that aren't exactly written into the sheet music but that sound nice - Sasuke's too concentrated on his own instrument to pay attention to them. Naruto clutches the mic like it's just promised him the best sex of his life and purrs against the rush of artistic adrenaline. It's the excitement and the rush of making music, being the epicenter of this large a venue's attentions - Sakura knows just how much Naruto loves attention. He's a whore for it. ...okay, so "whore" might be overstepping it, but he's definitely an exhibitionist, and he gets way, way into his music. So into it that she can't pull him out. It's like a whole other universe for him, a whole different plane of existence. He's never done drugs because he's never needed to. He gets so high off singing, off performing, that it can twist him into knots and completely undo him.
It's enough to make Sakura feel like the other woman. Enough to make her petulant for no reason. Well, there is a reason, but it seems so unreasonable. Who the hell complains that their musician boyfriend likes music more than he likes sex? There were a lot of women who complained, but never about that, right?
And so instead of coming right out and saying this like that - because who really wants to argue in the "off season" - Sakura's just told him to skip the fanservice.
And of course he's not going to.
He never does.
Never once.
The drums break off, the guitars are silenced, Naruto breathes hard into the microphone, and Neji solos on his grand piano the way he would never be able to as a concert pianist. She thinks that he's probably the most normal out of all of them, the least eccentric, the most reasonable, even next to Gaara and Sasuke - Gaara who stands up with his drumsticks and grabs Naruto who twists up to him like a serpent and gyrates enthusiastically. Grabs him, tilts his head back and kisses him openmouthedly.
It lasts all of two seconds - the view isn't good for the stadium, but the way Gaara cradles the back of Naruto's head it's more than evident what they're doing. Naruto breaks it, kisses his jaw dismissively and grabs the microphone, starts singing an octave higher and three times softer, practically crooning, and it's hypnotic. Neji's still the only one playing, and Naruto goes in one direction as Gaara retreats in his subtle, modest way; the blond oozes over, still lacing the air with the poison his vocal chords can generate. He twirls his fingers suggestively over the Hyuuga's shoulder, leans down to nuzzle his throat.
Neji ignores him.
Sakura knows what's coming.
Naruto grabs him by his long hair and forces his head back to kiss him upside down. The crowd spasms, screams, goes absolutely crazy. Neji's scowling, she knows, and the thought is enforced when a camera shoots a close-up of their heads and the magnified downturn of his lips is near unmistakable. He keeps playing, though, fingers knowing exactly where to land on the polished keys, even while he has an adrenaline-high vocalist latched to his face. Sakura flicks her eyes past the stage lights to watch one girl get a nose bleed just as Naruto tears himself back and screams into the microphone. The stage once again resonates with noise as Gaara slams his wrists down and Suigetsu laughs too loudly to be ignored.
They actually sing the song for a while, then - long enough that she starts to wonder if they're really finished, but they've remixed it to suit their needs, and everything drags out long enough. Naruto slurs the word slowly so badly that it strains her already-blockaded ears and she winces softly. She just had to date a musician. A musician who doesn't even speak English. What was she thinking.
Sasuke's turn - she knows it's coming. Has to. Naruto's just come to the chorus line that most explicitly mentions sex. Grabs his hip - the Uchiha jerks to life, away from his music, fingers tripping along and face composed in an expression of annoyance. He steps backwards and Suigetsu's already there; he gets sandwiched indelicately. Suigetsu grabs him by the pockets and the base guitar fades out for a moment. Naruto pulls the mic free and sweeps the cord behind Sasuke's legs.
Yanks, singing the whole way through as Gaara pounds the drums and Neji plays the piano and Sasuke topples over, flat on his back, still playing, although it stutters as he hits the floor.
Suigetsu straddles his hips and slides on top of him as Naruto's chorus line ends, licking his lips and muttering something to Sasuke that the mics don't pick up and laughs obscenely when he scowls. He sits back up, tilting his guitar up and licking slowly up the neck, pausing at the end and deliberately waiting until the loudest of the screams die out. All in one quick movement he slams his base guitar back down, arches his back, lets his head drop back, and solos so hard that two girls in the front row literally drop where they stand. The crowd is going ballistic. Sasuke's looking like he's having a lot of trouble breathing.
Sakura's jaw clenches and Naruto hollers the last verses with abandon, and right towards the last twenty seconds of the song Sasuke starts playing again, on his back, Suigetsu on top of him, and the self-titled shark has the gall to start cackling like there's no tomorrow. Suigetsu's laughing so hard, in fact, that it's very impressive he can still play at all. Naruto slides to his knees and drags a hand down his face, his neck, his chest as it heaves, and it's so obscene. Sakura feels, honestly, really, really uncomfortable.
Why is this so great when other guys do it?
Because seeing her boyfriend doing it-
He trembles and lets the mic drop as it ends and the crowd is so wild that she's surprised they haven't started a riot. Suigetsu grabs Naruto by the hood of his long, sweeping coat and hoists him upright. Sasuke scrambles up and tries to regain his composure as they align side by side and bow sweepingly - Neji is always the most professional, always, and Sasuke is always the most disdainful, and Gaara is always the most stoic, and Naruto always has his arm around Suigetsu and they are always, always laughing harder than they ever would about anything else, ever, for any reason.
Naruto turns and plants him with a deep, hugely theatrical kiss and they blow several to the crowd before taking their final leave of the stage. The fans are weeping. They've given this stadium the best orgasm of their lives, just like they do every time they have a show.
They come off the stage and Naruto twines around her. He's slicked with sweat, still trembling with joy and Sakura says, stubbornly, "I'm still not having sex with you."
Karin loops herself too closely around Sasuke's waist as Tenten slides into step beside Neji - at first neither of them seem to be very talkative, but Tenten's lips quirk up and her eyes scrunch as she turns towards him. He's definitely going to get it. They can all tell.
Suigetsu cackles.
"There's bonekill, Naruto, and then there's your bitch."
"Sakura doesn't kill boners," Naruto says dejectedly, "she smashes them in her womanly fury."
"Like Wonderwoman," Gaara says offhandedly.
"Yeah," Naruto agrees, leaning too heavily against her neck. "Just like Wonderwoman."
Sakura punches him in the stomach.
"You deserved that," Sasuke says, nonchalant as ever.
Naruto makes a noise that doesn't sound like he agrees at all, and Sakura feels suddenly and immaculately satisfied.
Author: the-lady-lamb (with a lot of input and help from judo_creature and a1kuna)
Genre: Naruto
Sub-genre: Porn/Fanservice/Jrock/AU/Amazing
Summary: Sakura's just as into fanservice as the next girl, but when that fanservice involves your boyfriend in front of a crowd of just under six-thousand screaming fans and goes on for two hours, it starts to weigh on you. [NaruOrgy in the extreme. AU.]
Rated: R for hip gyrations that will make your nose bleed.
Author's Notes: judo_creature and a1kuna helped me see this one through. Literally. Best idea ever - make our favorite Naruto boys into a Jrock band and piss off Sakura muse with epic fanservice. Everyone who reads this owes boners to the three of us, Saga, the GazettE, and Miyavi. ...to name a few. Oh thank you, youtube. Thank you.
Bonekill
He's going to go through with it and she knows he's going to go through with it because he has done it every single other live and why would the live in Tokyo be any different. Simple: it won't be. She knows it won't be, because even with the VIP badge around her neck, the same as Tenten's, and the same as Karin's, she's not out there playing with them. She's here. Standing just out of sight of the stadium. Arms crossed. Face flat. Jaw clenched. Ears stuffed with plugs because she's right next to the amps and it is too loud.
It's ironic, actually. Almost painfully so. Naruto's doing a Ludo cover, loudly, well, even, and who'd have guessed he'd be a singer, dammit, she knew he'd seemed abnormal at first with the facial scars and the tattoos lacing up and down his stomach and his back and the gratuitous ear piercings. She'd figured he was an artist, and she was right and horribly, horribly wrong at the same time. Just like it is horribly, horribly difficult to listen to him try to sing in English. He gets the melody perfect but the words themselves are so terribly mangled and mispronounced it is almost difficult to listen to him. She supposes that the difficulty should be that he's wearing makeup and nail polish that she is responsible for. Naruto is an artist. A musician. It's just too perfect, such a romantic cliché that she's stayed with him long past the point where she knew how to fall out of love with him. Maybe she knew at one point. She doesn't anymore.
But this is ridiculous.
He's singing about a woman, which would be comforting only if she were out on that stage, or there was a single woman in the audience who didn't think he was singing it to them. Actually, Sakura's nearly gotten over the thing with the fans. Almost. They creep her out - sure, she used to be one of them, for a completely different band, the one Sasuke used to be in, but she was never like this. She never looked at them and got wet. Well, she did once because Naruto has a tape from one of their lives and likes to watch it and jerk himself off whenever there isn't anyone around, and she happened to have been discounted from the entirety of "anyone" by the time she caught him doing it. Interesting night, actually.
Ridiculous.
This. Is. Ridiculous.
Naruto leans into a deep, long note and hangs his head back. Suigetsu leans forward and bites his throat pointedly and Naruto's rolling sound of ecstasy punctuates the explosion of noise from the crowd. Suigetsu plays a few wailing notes that aren't exactly written into the sheet music but that sound nice - Sasuke's too concentrated on his own instrument to pay attention to them. Naruto clutches the mic like it's just promised him the best sex of his life and purrs against the rush of artistic adrenaline. It's the excitement and the rush of making music, being the epicenter of this large a venue's attentions - Sakura knows just how much Naruto loves attention. He's a whore for it. ...okay, so "whore" might be overstepping it, but he's definitely an exhibitionist, and he gets way, way into his music. So into it that she can't pull him out. It's like a whole other universe for him, a whole different plane of existence. He's never done drugs because he's never needed to. He gets so high off singing, off performing, that it can twist him into knots and completely undo him.
It's enough to make Sakura feel like the other woman. Enough to make her petulant for no reason. Well, there is a reason, but it seems so unreasonable. Who the hell complains that their musician boyfriend likes music more than he likes sex? There were a lot of women who complained, but never about that, right?
And so instead of coming right out and saying this like that - because who really wants to argue in the "off season" - Sakura's just told him to skip the fanservice.
And of course he's not going to.
He never does.
Never once.
The drums break off, the guitars are silenced, Naruto breathes hard into the microphone, and Neji solos on his grand piano the way he would never be able to as a concert pianist. She thinks that he's probably the most normal out of all of them, the least eccentric, the most reasonable, even next to Gaara and Sasuke - Gaara who stands up with his drumsticks and grabs Naruto who twists up to him like a serpent and gyrates enthusiastically. Grabs him, tilts his head back and kisses him openmouthedly.
It lasts all of two seconds - the view isn't good for the stadium, but the way Gaara cradles the back of Naruto's head it's more than evident what they're doing. Naruto breaks it, kisses his jaw dismissively and grabs the microphone, starts singing an octave higher and three times softer, practically crooning, and it's hypnotic. Neji's still the only one playing, and Naruto goes in one direction as Gaara retreats in his subtle, modest way; the blond oozes over, still lacing the air with the poison his vocal chords can generate. He twirls his fingers suggestively over the Hyuuga's shoulder, leans down to nuzzle his throat.
Neji ignores him.
Sakura knows what's coming.
Naruto grabs him by his long hair and forces his head back to kiss him upside down. The crowd spasms, screams, goes absolutely crazy. Neji's scowling, she knows, and the thought is enforced when a camera shoots a close-up of their heads and the magnified downturn of his lips is near unmistakable. He keeps playing, though, fingers knowing exactly where to land on the polished keys, even while he has an adrenaline-high vocalist latched to his face. Sakura flicks her eyes past the stage lights to watch one girl get a nose bleed just as Naruto tears himself back and screams into the microphone. The stage once again resonates with noise as Gaara slams his wrists down and Suigetsu laughs too loudly to be ignored.
They actually sing the song for a while, then - long enough that she starts to wonder if they're really finished, but they've remixed it to suit their needs, and everything drags out long enough. Naruto slurs the word slowly so badly that it strains her already-blockaded ears and she winces softly. She just had to date a musician. A musician who doesn't even speak English. What was she thinking.
Sasuke's turn - she knows it's coming. Has to. Naruto's just come to the chorus line that most explicitly mentions sex. Grabs his hip - the Uchiha jerks to life, away from his music, fingers tripping along and face composed in an expression of annoyance. He steps backwards and Suigetsu's already there; he gets sandwiched indelicately. Suigetsu grabs him by the pockets and the base guitar fades out for a moment. Naruto pulls the mic free and sweeps the cord behind Sasuke's legs.
Yanks, singing the whole way through as Gaara pounds the drums and Neji plays the piano and Sasuke topples over, flat on his back, still playing, although it stutters as he hits the floor.
Suigetsu straddles his hips and slides on top of him as Naruto's chorus line ends, licking his lips and muttering something to Sasuke that the mics don't pick up and laughs obscenely when he scowls. He sits back up, tilting his guitar up and licking slowly up the neck, pausing at the end and deliberately waiting until the loudest of the screams die out. All in one quick movement he slams his base guitar back down, arches his back, lets his head drop back, and solos so hard that two girls in the front row literally drop where they stand. The crowd is going ballistic. Sasuke's looking like he's having a lot of trouble breathing.
Sakura's jaw clenches and Naruto hollers the last verses with abandon, and right towards the last twenty seconds of the song Sasuke starts playing again, on his back, Suigetsu on top of him, and the self-titled shark has the gall to start cackling like there's no tomorrow. Suigetsu's laughing so hard, in fact, that it's very impressive he can still play at all. Naruto slides to his knees and drags a hand down his face, his neck, his chest as it heaves, and it's so obscene. Sakura feels, honestly, really, really uncomfortable.
Why is this so great when other guys do it?
Because seeing her boyfriend doing it-
He trembles and lets the mic drop as it ends and the crowd is so wild that she's surprised they haven't started a riot. Suigetsu grabs Naruto by the hood of his long, sweeping coat and hoists him upright. Sasuke scrambles up and tries to regain his composure as they align side by side and bow sweepingly - Neji is always the most professional, always, and Sasuke is always the most disdainful, and Gaara is always the most stoic, and Naruto always has his arm around Suigetsu and they are always, always laughing harder than they ever would about anything else, ever, for any reason.
Naruto turns and plants him with a deep, hugely theatrical kiss and they blow several to the crowd before taking their final leave of the stage. The fans are weeping. They've given this stadium the best orgasm of their lives, just like they do every time they have a show.
They come off the stage and Naruto twines around her. He's slicked with sweat, still trembling with joy and Sakura says, stubbornly, "I'm still not having sex with you."
Karin loops herself too closely around Sasuke's waist as Tenten slides into step beside Neji - at first neither of them seem to be very talkative, but Tenten's lips quirk up and her eyes scrunch as she turns towards him. He's definitely going to get it. They can all tell.
Suigetsu cackles.
"There's bonekill, Naruto, and then there's your bitch."
"Sakura doesn't kill boners," Naruto says dejectedly, "she smashes them in her womanly fury."
"Like Wonderwoman," Gaara says offhandedly.
"Yeah," Naruto agrees, leaning too heavily against her neck. "Just like Wonderwoman."
Sakura punches him in the stomach.
"You deserved that," Sasuke says, nonchalant as ever.
Naruto makes a noise that doesn't sound like he agrees at all, and Sakura feels suddenly and immaculately satisfied.