jag vet inte

[totalyflummoxed]

i think i'm a little bit muted, for lack of a better word. obviously, i don't know how to say a whole lot, especially how to explain how i'm feeling emotionally and what i want. i don't know what i want; that's the hard part. i feel like i'm not doing enough here. not exploring enough, not adventuring, and that makes me kind of sad. at home i had

Comments

[ohnoitsbekah]

pretty much we are one and the same, i'm kind of like "okay when am i going to start having fun?" i'm a pretty crappy exchange student i think, at least this far, i should probably break a few more d's and ditch school or something to get the ball rolling. i think poland is perfect for me but i am not perfect for poland, i don't even know if that makes sense? but it's completely true regardless.

[totalyflummoxed]

i'm glad you at least know how i feel. i kind of need that. i wish i could talk to you on the phone. i just wrote "whish" instead of "wish."

ja... it's not that i'm never having fun, but on a scale of 1 to 10, i'd say the fun level is only at about a 5 or 6 right now. i don't know how to make friends outside of my class!

hahaha, becky breaking d's and ditching school... just don't start smoking. yuck.

my host sister-in-law was disappointed with dora and i when we were at her house for dinner because we didn't want beer OR wine... haha.

i feel like a kind of crappy exchange student, sometimes, or at least really mediocre. i just don't know vad jag ska gör.

[ohnoitsbekah]

well i only had one drink, it wasn't really fun though because i was with rotarians, hahaha...i was like "is this a rotary morality test?" but they didn't understand so i was like fuck it...i haven't ditched school yet because i have no one to do it with...but seriously my fun level is low, not to say i'd be having more fun in cambria, but this almost seems like more of a punishment than a reward for all of the work i've done. i love it here, but i am uncomfortable and bored more than i'd like to be.

[ohnoitsbekah]

i know that feeling. you have me beat though, i haven't drank anything (unless you count cider with an alcohol content of 2% that fourteen-year-olds are allowed to drink) and i definitely haven't ditched school... though i don't have any reason to because i hardly have school most days (uh, three hours) anyway. if you ever have any reason to come to sweden... know that you have a place to stay. for seriös.

[cold_erin]

Stick with it.
It'll get more fun.
Promise.

[totalyflummoxed]

:) no way am i going home, I LOVE IT HERE, it's just not all happening yet. but i'm making progress... today i did a presentation on california in my english class and handed out a bunch of surf stickers and i noticed that one kid at least put it in his locker... so i don't think my class hates me. hahaha.

[cold_erin]

Good!
I assume you're in Sweden...
And you've just started the year? What grade in school did you go into?
Try just hanging out with friends, and playing some bränböll. Or maybe, ask some girls - i think most of them (depending what class you're in) will do some training at the gym, play football, floorball or handball. Ask some of them to take you!!

[hej_sverige]

yes, i'm here. i sverige. oh. this one is my sweden journal... if that makes more sense. i'm in 2an, SP-media. uh... it's interesting. not bad, though. i think i'm going to start swimming, i don't know if i'd like playing football/handball and i haven't heard anything about floorball or bränböll... but damn, sweden is so cool.

[cold_erin]

SMP 2:an......was me too.
Go ask some kids in your class about floorball and bränböll.

[ohnoitsbekah]

"hej svensk kompisar, vad är floorball and bränböll?" awkward...! hahaha. i don't know. i'm not very good at this making-friends-with-swedish-people thing... i don't really have anything in common with anyone in my class... but oh well. they're nice to me, at least.

[cold_erin]

"Tjaaa, jag har hörde om bränbäll - och floorball. Har aldrig hörde om de hemma, vad är de??"
It's normal to ask about things, right? Everything is foreign.
I had to ask about bränböll, everyone talked about it....
I promise, Swedish people are just like normal people (mostly) Just be nice to them, ask them questions about themselves, buy them a beer or two (quietly...) and just............chill. You'll find people who like to sew, make cakes, mosh at metal concerts, go on bike rides, whatever floats your boat. Just get them talking!

[totalyflummoxed]

tack så mycket. :) though i've never even heard anyone mention floorball or bränböll... hahaha. it's okej, i think they think i'm weird anyway... :P

[cold_erin]

Ah....maybe you've heard them mention bandy? Or innebandy? That's floorball - like hockey, except not. Forgot to translate it, sorry. It's competetive, and a team sport. If you ever get invited to go to a bandy match (outdoors, on ice, in winter) make sure you put on heaps o clothes, otherwise you'll freeze!

Bränböll is kinda like rounders, or a bit like cricket, but crossed with baseball - it's not competetive, it's what you play when you all go sit in a park and someone brings a guitar......

[totalyflummoxed]

hahaha VAD? JAG FÖRSTÅR INTE! mestadels just becuase i don't know anything about cricket, or hockey or even baseball, really...

[cold_erin]

namen det är lungt. Bara frågar dina kompisar, och de ska visa dej!

[ohnoitsbekah]

I hope so. Nine and a half more months of this would be bad. Not saying I don't like it, but I'd get very depressed.