conscience
"Mary has old-fashion everything. Old fashion parents, old fashion money, old fashion connections, old fashion style. Everthing's old fashion except her morals and that's why i love her."
-John. You're a complete fool.-
"Fool? Fools, my friend, rush in. I have been waiting, and wanting and . . . buying my time for so . . . well let's just say that this, in no stretch of the imagination constitute as 'rushing in'"
-John. She'll never have you. You merely run errands for her. What makes you think she even remembers your face?-
"Let em tell you-"
-No let me tell you, John. Women like her are like god-damn bloodhounds John. They sniff out everything that makes you tick when you think about them and then they ignore you cause they have you figured. You're a dime a dozen my friend. Not one in a million like you think you are. Dime a dozen. Catch my drift friend?-
"Where do you get the right to think you know her? Where?! Tell me!"
-John, these women, these high-society girls, they will never look at us the way the girls on the block look at us. What can you do John? Get a car running? Fix an AC unit? Stop the faucet from leaking? What good do you think that would do a women who pays guys like you to fix things for her than sends them away? Girls out there, out in our neighborhood, they need a guy like you. You are of value to them. You are a man to them. To her, to Mary, you're merely flesh and organs. A thing that breathes her air. Go on John. Give it up. Find a girl that needs you not some broad that would rather use you to keep her feet dry instead of your jacket.-
"She is not like that. What makes you think that I can't do better than the exact same woman my mother was? What makes you think i can't do better than this neighborhood? What makes you think that i can't be somebody and Mary sees that? What makes you think that?"
-don't make me say it.-
"No, Say it!"
-...Why do i say these things?-
"Yes. Why do you constantly belittle me? Why are you always keeping me back. Why don't you ever give me any encouragement. Why must you always - always . . .
-Always tell the truth?-
"Yes! Why must you always kill me with the truth?"
-That's my purpose John. I exist solely to tell you what you can't come to terms with. I love you john. Without you there is no me. Without me you would have no doubts, no fears, no ambitions, no courage, no yellow-streak. I am you. I'm just looking out for you. I love you john.-
"Damn you . . ."
-I know.-
----------------------
Pretty fucking melodramatic huh?
I dunno. I sat down. That came out.
Make of it what you will.
Know that thing when you just sit down and don't attention to what you're writing? This was an example of that.
A man talking to himslef.
A man drowning in insecurity he beholds.
It is merely instinct.
hmm.
-John. You're a complete fool.-
"Fool? Fools, my friend, rush in. I have been waiting, and wanting and . . . buying my time for so . . . well let's just say that this, in no stretch of the imagination constitute as 'rushing in'"
-John. She'll never have you. You merely run errands for her. What makes you think she even remembers your face?-
"Let em tell you-"
-No let me tell you, John. Women like her are like god-damn bloodhounds John. They sniff out everything that makes you tick when you think about them and then they ignore you cause they have you figured. You're a dime a dozen my friend. Not one in a million like you think you are. Dime a dozen. Catch my drift friend?-
"Where do you get the right to think you know her? Where?! Tell me!"
-John, these women, these high-society girls, they will never look at us the way the girls on the block look at us. What can you do John? Get a car running? Fix an AC unit? Stop the faucet from leaking? What good do you think that would do a women who pays guys like you to fix things for her than sends them away? Girls out there, out in our neighborhood, they need a guy like you. You are of value to them. You are a man to them. To her, to Mary, you're merely flesh and organs. A thing that breathes her air. Go on John. Give it up. Find a girl that needs you not some broad that would rather use you to keep her feet dry instead of your jacket.-
"She is not like that. What makes you think that I can't do better than the exact same woman my mother was? What makes you think i can't do better than this neighborhood? What makes you think that i can't be somebody and Mary sees that? What makes you think that?"
-don't make me say it.-
"No, Say it!"
-...Why do i say these things?-
"Yes. Why do you constantly belittle me? Why are you always keeping me back. Why don't you ever give me any encouragement. Why must you always - always . . .
-Always tell the truth?-
"Yes! Why must you always kill me with the truth?"
-That's my purpose John. I exist solely to tell you what you can't come to terms with. I love you john. Without you there is no me. Without me you would have no doubts, no fears, no ambitions, no courage, no yellow-streak. I am you. I'm just looking out for you. I love you john.-
"Damn you . . ."
-I know.-
----------------------
Pretty fucking melodramatic huh?
I dunno. I sat down. That came out.
Make of it what you will.
Know that thing when you just sit down and don't attention to what you're writing? This was an example of that.
A man talking to himslef.
A man drowning in insecurity he beholds.
It is merely instinct.
hmm.