People... People who need functioning gastrointestinal systems... Aren't the luckiest people
First off, I know it's not normal for people to vomit blood, especially people who are generally completely incapable of vomitting. People who haven't vomitted since they were 11 years old at summer camp and Doug Lagally pushed them on a swing in ever increasing circles and then let it spin back again until their equilibriums were so off kilter that they had to jump off and vomit in the grass next to the swing. People who could even stick their fingers down their throat and not manage an effect. People whose own disbelieving boyfriend even tried sticking his finger down their throats and were still unable to vomit. People who had laparascopic fundometries wherein their stomachs were tied off around their esophogi, and so whereas before they could claim they simply had the TENDENCY not to vomit, now they literally can not.
So yes, first off, I know that's not normal.
Second, I know it's not normal for people to spend a day of work primarily by lying under their desks in a fetal ball, crying and moaning and generally freaking out their coworkers who have no idea what to say, occasionally jumping up to go vomit blood in the bathroom, which, as stated above, is the first thing that's not normal for people to do. It makes people feel like the zombies from 28 Days Later...
Third, I know it's not normal for people to refuse to go to the hospital when this is happening to them, but at this point, people feel that it's important to defend their decision(s).
Here's the thing: first off, this isn't neccessarily the first time people have vomitted blood, although the first time that happened was only about a month or two ago and people haven't exactly been to the doctor since that happened, and so maybe that's not an excuse, but hey- people haven't lapsed into a coma or anything, either.
Then, people don't have a fever or anything, and the internet suggests that's the first sign that something's severely wrong with them, at least if the symptoms were the fault of their crohn's disease, which seems like a giveaway.
Third, people have to move to their new apartments this evening, and people don't feel comfortable letting the people they managed to coerce into helping do all the moving for them, because people are control freaks who need to direct the migration of their worldly posessions and also want to make sure none of their friends break onto their computers and look at their extensive collection of downloaded porn (people, by the way, have lately been favoring Sean Cody, the world's luckiest Mormon faggot).
And fourth, well... unless it's an emergency, people have really developed an aversion to hospitals and the medical profession, because, well... people don't want to lose their colon.
The funny thing is that people used to get off on medical attention in a psychologically (if not physically) unhealthy way. For instance, after Doug pushed people on the swing and they vomitted, they went to the camp infirmary and insisted they had stomach flu even though they knew they were totally healthy. People liked lying in the infirmary beds, eating chicken noodle soup and reading back issues of People Magazine. It's not that people were lazy. It's more that people were really intense children who occasionally needed to get a break from Other People and recharge in total solitude, a luxury not generally afforded 11 year-olds on demand.
Even as people grew older and saner, people still were fine with hospitals. People liked being reassured that if anything happened, they would be OK. People liked getting prescriptions for things. People liked having new bandages, casts and/or scars to show off as badges of glory.
And then people's stomachs failed and people started freaking out. People were wondering if they had stomach cancer, and people were told they had ulcers, and people still did not get any better. People were diagnosed with Crohn's disease, and it's funny, because people once made an excuse in college that a paper was not done because they were with their sister, who was dying due to complications from- of course- Crohn's Disease; people showed up at class a week later, and people said their sister made a miracle recovery after doctors removed 17 inches of her intestinal tract.
Now people have that disease, which is better than stomach cancer, and which is better than a lot of things people could worry about having. For instance, people are happy they don't get kidney stones, because some of people's friends and relatives get them, and they seem like a total fucking nightmare. People are glad they do not have a progressive nerve disease, or lupus, or AIDS, or Lou Gehrig's, or anything like that.
But people are freaked out about their chronic disease, if only because they feel like they are in acute pain more often than they are not.
They stay home more, even when they'd intended to do other things, because they are in too much pain to move; they avoid a lot of things they used to love to eat and/or drink; they quit smoking. They vomit blood, they lie down under their desks and are in too much pain to really care if anybody is freaked out by it.
And they don't want their colons removed so they don't go to the hospital. And it's not an irrational fear. Other People get their colons removed all the time for the same problem, and... people don't really want to think about it. Besides the fact that such a thing can really be disruptive to their sex lives, as people are gay men, there's the fact of the colostomy bag itself. People have heard there are revolutionary strides made in the shit-bags, but people would still have to have a shit-bag. People don't want a shit-bag. People want no shit bag. People aren't sure if they'd rather die before they got the damn shit-bag, but people feel like if they avoid doctors and hospitals, they won't ever really have to make that decision.
People get light-headed after their episodes. People, for instance, are currently feeling depersonalized. People aren't sure if it's Vitamin B-12 deficiency, because people aren't sure if its their illeum that's affected. People also heard something about anemia due to blood loss, which would make sense if people are inexplicably vomitting blood.
By the way? People are really pissed off they had to sort of piece together all of the information for themselves about Crohn's, because their gastroenterologists were so withholding on information.
People are just rambling now. People have no big finish planned. People aren't looking forward to moving tonight.
People probably should have hired movers.
So yes, first off, I know that's not normal.
Second, I know it's not normal for people to spend a day of work primarily by lying under their desks in a fetal ball, crying and moaning and generally freaking out their coworkers who have no idea what to say, occasionally jumping up to go vomit blood in the bathroom, which, as stated above, is the first thing that's not normal for people to do. It makes people feel like the zombies from 28 Days Later...
Third, I know it's not normal for people to refuse to go to the hospital when this is happening to them, but at this point, people feel that it's important to defend their decision(s).
Here's the thing: first off, this isn't neccessarily the first time people have vomitted blood, although the first time that happened was only about a month or two ago and people haven't exactly been to the doctor since that happened, and so maybe that's not an excuse, but hey- people haven't lapsed into a coma or anything, either.
Then, people don't have a fever or anything, and the internet suggests that's the first sign that something's severely wrong with them, at least if the symptoms were the fault of their crohn's disease, which seems like a giveaway.
Third, people have to move to their new apartments this evening, and people don't feel comfortable letting the people they managed to coerce into helping do all the moving for them, because people are control freaks who need to direct the migration of their worldly posessions and also want to make sure none of their friends break onto their computers and look at their extensive collection of downloaded porn (people, by the way, have lately been favoring Sean Cody, the world's luckiest Mormon faggot).
And fourth, well... unless it's an emergency, people have really developed an aversion to hospitals and the medical profession, because, well... people don't want to lose their colon.
The funny thing is that people used to get off on medical attention in a psychologically (if not physically) unhealthy way. For instance, after Doug pushed people on the swing and they vomitted, they went to the camp infirmary and insisted they had stomach flu even though they knew they were totally healthy. People liked lying in the infirmary beds, eating chicken noodle soup and reading back issues of People Magazine. It's not that people were lazy. It's more that people were really intense children who occasionally needed to get a break from Other People and recharge in total solitude, a luxury not generally afforded 11 year-olds on demand.
Even as people grew older and saner, people still were fine with hospitals. People liked being reassured that if anything happened, they would be OK. People liked getting prescriptions for things. People liked having new bandages, casts and/or scars to show off as badges of glory.
And then people's stomachs failed and people started freaking out. People were wondering if they had stomach cancer, and people were told they had ulcers, and people still did not get any better. People were diagnosed with Crohn's disease, and it's funny, because people once made an excuse in college that a paper was not done because they were with their sister, who was dying due to complications from- of course- Crohn's Disease; people showed up at class a week later, and people said their sister made a miracle recovery after doctors removed 17 inches of her intestinal tract.
Now people have that disease, which is better than stomach cancer, and which is better than a lot of things people could worry about having. For instance, people are happy they don't get kidney stones, because some of people's friends and relatives get them, and they seem like a total fucking nightmare. People are glad they do not have a progressive nerve disease, or lupus, or AIDS, or Lou Gehrig's, or anything like that.
But people are freaked out about their chronic disease, if only because they feel like they are in acute pain more often than they are not.
They stay home more, even when they'd intended to do other things, because they are in too much pain to move; they avoid a lot of things they used to love to eat and/or drink; they quit smoking. They vomit blood, they lie down under their desks and are in too much pain to really care if anybody is freaked out by it.
And they don't want their colons removed so they don't go to the hospital. And it's not an irrational fear. Other People get their colons removed all the time for the same problem, and... people don't really want to think about it. Besides the fact that such a thing can really be disruptive to their sex lives, as people are gay men, there's the fact of the colostomy bag itself. People have heard there are revolutionary strides made in the shit-bags, but people would still have to have a shit-bag. People don't want a shit-bag. People want no shit bag. People aren't sure if they'd rather die before they got the damn shit-bag, but people feel like if they avoid doctors and hospitals, they won't ever really have to make that decision.
People get light-headed after their episodes. People, for instance, are currently feeling depersonalized. People aren't sure if it's Vitamin B-12 deficiency, because people aren't sure if its their illeum that's affected. People also heard something about anemia due to blood loss, which would make sense if people are inexplicably vomitting blood.
By the way? People are really pissed off they had to sort of piece together all of the information for themselves about Crohn's, because their gastroenterologists were so withholding on information.
People are just rambling now. People have no big finish planned. People aren't looking forward to moving tonight.
People probably should have hired movers.