Everyone Knows I'm In Over My Head...
Well, there's this thing called love. It's changed my life in so many ways. I believe that you can love anyone at anytime in your life. For all we know, a ten year old could be in love but everyone always says "youre too young to know what love is"...but how do you know? how do you know that kid isn't in love? yeah, maybe it isn't the type of love that your parents are in when they commit to marriage, but the love that 10 year old feels is the only type of love he knows. if he said he loved you, i guarantee he meant it. and besides, parents aren't always the best example anymore. with the way marriages are falling apart everyday, maybe you should trust that ten year old a lil more. how are we to judge if someone is in love?
i know that in my short 17 years of life, i've been in love. its happened to me twice. the first time was with my boyfriend of a year and about 8 months. i started dating him my freshmen year of high school.. in march. but my feelings for him started LONG before we dated. i had a crush on this kid from about the 2nd week of school until the day he asked me out. He was a junior and I was just a lil freshmen. But I KNEW that he was the one for me at the time. I loved him, i gave him my everything. But all good things come to an end, which they did. Slowly things started to go downhill.. our trust in each other was out the door and no relationship can work w/o trust. We tried to hang on which slowly made things worse. I loved the kid. He was my first love, I won't ever deny that or take that away from him. And I do believe its true when they say you'll never forget your first love, But that doesn't mean I could never love again. And I def dont think it means that you can't love another with everything you have.
The second person I fell in love with is my current boyfriend. We've been dating for about a month and a half but I already know that what I feel is love. When I was breaking up with my other boyfriend, he was the one there for me. He let me text him at all hours of the night so that I could talk. He'd stay up until I was ready for bed so that I would be ok. He remembered all the lil promises that no guy ever remembers ((like we talked about getting a new years kiss but he was oregon.. so instead, on new years, he texts me out of nowhere and sends me a kiss. =]..those moments make me smile)). Our friendship started over Christmas break of my junior year... I always knew who he was and I had always wanted to be his friend, but we had never really talked much before that break. We had started talking a lil more and started to become friends, but then school came to an end and he left town. Luckily, I had taken his number out of my friends phonebook and I texted him that one night over break. From then on out, our friendship grew. I knew all along that I liked him...the only problem. He had a girlfriend. But me, being the girl that I am, didn't want to give up on this one. I knew there was something there. Usually, I'd never do this. But with him, for some reason I couldn't stop myself. We would text each other everyday, all day. It got to the point where no one asked me who I was texting anymore b/c they just knew. He had a way of making me smile everyday. We started this game. A really bad game, but we started it. I decided to try and play hard to get and if I won, we'd both know because that gf he had at the time would no longer exist. Basically, I won this game. Since that day, I've never been happier. I remember the night he first told me that he thought he was falling in love with me. We were sitting in his truck in front of my house. We had just started dating. I remember him saying that he had these feelings but he was afraid it was too soon. I remember thinking that I felt the same way, but knowing myself, I was scared at the same time that I was forcing myself to feel this way to get over my ex. But as the week went on, even just that night, I realized that I wasn't forcing anything. I felt more comfortable with him than I had ever felt with anyone before. He had changed me for the better. I was a happier person than I had been in a long time. Everyone noticed. The first weekend that we were dating, he had to go visit Harvard so we hung out that Friday night. When he was dropping me off at home, he told me he loved me. And I had no hesitation to say it back. It just felt right. Ever since then, things have only gotten better. We get closer every day and he makes me feel like a million bucks. I know what I feel for him is true.
Whoever said that you can't love someone the way you loved your first love is wrong. Yeah, I may not love Chris the same way I loved Shane.. but that's because I'm loving Chris with another part of me, a different part. I've changed since my last relationship. I've grown and I've learned and now I'm in this relationship with a new perspective and I love him with everything I have. It doesn't matter if I loved Shane before... what matters is that I'm feeling this now and I'm giving everything I've got into this relationship. When I say those three words, I couldnt say it with any more meaning than when I say them to Chris.
i know that in my short 17 years of life, i've been in love. its happened to me twice. the first time was with my boyfriend of a year and about 8 months. i started dating him my freshmen year of high school.. in march. but my feelings for him started LONG before we dated. i had a crush on this kid from about the 2nd week of school until the day he asked me out. He was a junior and I was just a lil freshmen. But I KNEW that he was the one for me at the time. I loved him, i gave him my everything. But all good things come to an end, which they did. Slowly things started to go downhill.. our trust in each other was out the door and no relationship can work w/o trust. We tried to hang on which slowly made things worse. I loved the kid. He was my first love, I won't ever deny that or take that away from him. And I do believe its true when they say you'll never forget your first love, But that doesn't mean I could never love again. And I def dont think it means that you can't love another with everything you have.
The second person I fell in love with is my current boyfriend. We've been dating for about a month and a half but I already know that what I feel is love. When I was breaking up with my other boyfriend, he was the one there for me. He let me text him at all hours of the night so that I could talk. He'd stay up until I was ready for bed so that I would be ok. He remembered all the lil promises that no guy ever remembers ((like we talked about getting a new years kiss but he was oregon.. so instead, on new years, he texts me out of nowhere and sends me a kiss. =]..those moments make me smile)). Our friendship started over Christmas break of my junior year... I always knew who he was and I had always wanted to be his friend, but we had never really talked much before that break. We had started talking a lil more and started to become friends, but then school came to an end and he left town. Luckily, I had taken his number out of my friends phonebook and I texted him that one night over break. From then on out, our friendship grew. I knew all along that I liked him...the only problem. He had a girlfriend. But me, being the girl that I am, didn't want to give up on this one. I knew there was something there. Usually, I'd never do this. But with him, for some reason I couldn't stop myself. We would text each other everyday, all day. It got to the point where no one asked me who I was texting anymore b/c they just knew. He had a way of making me smile everyday. We started this game. A really bad game, but we started it. I decided to try and play hard to get and if I won, we'd both know because that gf he had at the time would no longer exist. Basically, I won this game. Since that day, I've never been happier. I remember the night he first told me that he thought he was falling in love with me. We were sitting in his truck in front of my house. We had just started dating. I remember him saying that he had these feelings but he was afraid it was too soon. I remember thinking that I felt the same way, but knowing myself, I was scared at the same time that I was forcing myself to feel this way to get over my ex. But as the week went on, even just that night, I realized that I wasn't forcing anything. I felt more comfortable with him than I had ever felt with anyone before. He had changed me for the better. I was a happier person than I had been in a long time. Everyone noticed. The first weekend that we were dating, he had to go visit Harvard so we hung out that Friday night. When he was dropping me off at home, he told me he loved me. And I had no hesitation to say it back. It just felt right. Ever since then, things have only gotten better. We get closer every day and he makes me feel like a million bucks. I know what I feel for him is true.
Whoever said that you can't love someone the way you loved your first love is wrong. Yeah, I may not love Chris the same way I loved Shane.. but that's because I'm loving Chris with another part of me, a different part. I've changed since my last relationship. I've grown and I've learned and now I'm in this relationship with a new perspective and I love him with everything I have. It doesn't matter if I loved Shane before... what matters is that I'm feeling this now and I'm giving everything I've got into this relationship. When I say those three words, I couldnt say it with any more meaning than when I say them to Chris.