What Am I Feeling? What Am I Doing Wrong? ...
Well, this past week has been alright. It went pretty fast and it doesn't feel like Friday. So all week has just been cheer and stuff and it's been alright. Im sick of it right now. It's just such a drag and I'm so freakin drained. Anyways... so today we had a STUPID practice and I was all pissed off the whole time and then I got home right at 5 and have just been chillin and I'm really tired...but oh well.
I've been thinking so much this week... like A LOT. It all started when my friends starting saying how like everyone thinks we're all stuck up and brats and that none of the soph guys like us... and so then all day after that i was walking around asking like everyone if they thought I was a snob and I've been so worried about it all week...and well, I've just been thinking about that so much. And it sucks so much b/c it's not that I don't like anyone else and that I don't want to talk to them, it's just that I am REALLY shy and I'm not the type of person to just walk up and start talking to someone esp if we like NEVER talk. But i hate if that's the reason that people think I'm snobby... I seriously hate that! I wish so much that I was more outgoing. I just wish that everyone could see me the way I am with my friends... how I don't care about anything and am loud and fun and just have so much to say... but I'm not like that with everyone. I just need to get comfortable first. But so it's been mine and Sarah's goal like all week to talk to like A LOT more people and just try to walk around and talk to people and let them see that we DO like them and we DO want to be their friends. I just do NOT want anyone to hate me b/c there isn't anyone at Cactus that I can sit here and think to myself that I hate.
Another thing is that I've been hearing that a lot of people think that we just sit around and talk shit about people and that like REALLY hurts me too b/c we don't. I'm not gonna lie, there are times when things are said that shouldn't be... but who doesn't do that? But i can say that if I don't agree with what people say about other people, I will speak up. I'm not one to sit there and talk crap about someone who I like... why would I do that? And that just hurts me b/c I dont want people to think that I'm talking crap about them b/c Im not. I have better things to do with myself and it's not worth it to sit there and talk about people. It doesn't do anything for u.
So I dont know... I just realize that like this last week I haven't been very content and I feel like today I just discovered something.... I NEED A CHANGE! That's all there is to it! I just need something to change in my life... and I think I know what it is...
Until Next Time...
xoxo - Kara =)
I've been thinking so much this week... like A LOT. It all started when my friends starting saying how like everyone thinks we're all stuck up and brats and that none of the soph guys like us... and so then all day after that i was walking around asking like everyone if they thought I was a snob and I've been so worried about it all week...and well, I've just been thinking about that so much. And it sucks so much b/c it's not that I don't like anyone else and that I don't want to talk to them, it's just that I am REALLY shy and I'm not the type of person to just walk up and start talking to someone esp if we like NEVER talk. But i hate if that's the reason that people think I'm snobby... I seriously hate that! I wish so much that I was more outgoing. I just wish that everyone could see me the way I am with my friends... how I don't care about anything and am loud and fun and just have so much to say... but I'm not like that with everyone. I just need to get comfortable first. But so it's been mine and Sarah's goal like all week to talk to like A LOT more people and just try to walk around and talk to people and let them see that we DO like them and we DO want to be their friends. I just do NOT want anyone to hate me b/c there isn't anyone at Cactus that I can sit here and think to myself that I hate.
Another thing is that I've been hearing that a lot of people think that we just sit around and talk shit about people and that like REALLY hurts me too b/c we don't. I'm not gonna lie, there are times when things are said that shouldn't be... but who doesn't do that? But i can say that if I don't agree with what people say about other people, I will speak up. I'm not one to sit there and talk crap about someone who I like... why would I do that? And that just hurts me b/c I dont want people to think that I'm talking crap about them b/c Im not. I have better things to do with myself and it's not worth it to sit there and talk about people. It doesn't do anything for u.
So I dont know... I just realize that like this last week I haven't been very content and I feel like today I just discovered something.... I NEED A CHANGE! That's all there is to it! I just need something to change in my life... and I think I know what it is...
Until Next Time...
xoxo - Kara =)