820: Good good bye, I'll be fine
Whilst cleaning my room for the inevitable purge of Stee-kind, I found this:
... "Oh crap, I've done it again, haven't I?" boomed a mysterious, deep voice seemingly coming from all around him. "I never can get that right."
He gave a bedazzled look. There was nothing around him. In fact, it was just him and blackness. He didn't even know what he was sitting on, if anything at all. It certainly wasn't a Chaise longue. And he was pretty sure sofas didn't come in the "non-existing anti-matter" brand - then again, DFS might have been doing a new sale.
"You're... well, you were looking at your geet, before you began to question where you are," boomed the voice again. For a moment, he statyed completely still. Well, he didn't actually know if he was moving or not because it was just black, as I'm sure I've already mentioned. But it's important to note that this moment was short. Very short. Shorter than short. Even shorter than that! But no, it wasn't any shorter. That was short enough.
"Wh-where..." He changed his mind.
"Whats wrong with - " And again.
"Who are you?" He settled on this one.
"Who am I?" boomed the voice, "Well that's a silly question if I do say so myself. What's wrong with your feet? Not quite so silly. Where are you? Hmm, 50/50 on that one. The jury's still out."
"Do you ever answer questions or do you always void them?"
"You want answers?.."
"Yes!!"
"I don't really think you do... I know you better than you know yourself. You don't want to hear these answers, or at least you won't after I tell you them. But since I do know you, I know you won't give up until I start dishing out some answers." There was silence. Not quite an awkward silence, but silence all the same.
"Okay fine. Your feet? Sorry, that was my fault. They're incredibly hard to replicate. Most people wouldn't realise, they'd just be happy with feet more or less like the ones they had before. Yours are..." the voice paused, "odd, to say the least, of course. It's one of those things yeah? I messed up. Please accept my humble apologies." It was another silence.
"So, where are you? I couldn't say..."
"I thought you were going to give me answers" he said with a resounding sense of anger found usually only in unripe bananas stripped of their dignity and placed in a blender for exactly 15.76 seconds. It wasn't a pretty sight.
"Look, I just don't have that answer... Now, who am I? Uhm, that one's a trick one, as well."
"Just answer my questions!" - banana rage abruptly back at the surface. Not that it ever left.
A small part of the black became white. It was such a contrast that it was actually blinding. He covered his eyes as the shape grew bigger. Or was it coming closer? Without any perspective it was kind of hard to tell. The light edged closer cautiously. Soon a shape became apparent. Wait a second, is that a bicurnal vestrograph diplodictor? Yeah, I think it is! What the hell is that? Oh sorry, just drifting ogg there. The shapes morephed, unfortunately to everyone's disappointment, no longer a bicurnal vestograph diplodictor, but very... person-like. Yes, it was a person. It was decided - unless it changed again.
The light became less bright. More... skin-coloured. Oh phew, there were some clothes too. A toga infact, ooh very classy. A toga with a hood, however? Any sane man would question that.
... ... *ahem*
Any man would question that.
"A toga with a hood?"
"It suits it's purpose." The voice was certainly a lot less deep.No longer the booming mysterious voice, it was more... it was familiar. He definitely recognised the voice from somewhere, but couldn't quite place it.
And yes, its still in the same chapter, so it is still dedicated to Kev!
... "Oh crap, I've done it again, haven't I?" boomed a mysterious, deep voice seemingly coming from all around him. "I never can get that right."
He gave a bedazzled look. There was nothing around him. In fact, it was just him and blackness. He didn't even know what he was sitting on, if anything at all. It certainly wasn't a Chaise longue. And he was pretty sure sofas didn't come in the "non-existing anti-matter" brand - then again, DFS might have been doing a new sale.
"You're... well, you were looking at your geet, before you began to question where you are," boomed the voice again. For a moment, he statyed completely still. Well, he didn't actually know if he was moving or not because it was just black, as I'm sure I've already mentioned. But it's important to note that this moment was short. Very short. Shorter than short. Even shorter than that! But no, it wasn't any shorter. That was short enough.
"Wh-where..." He changed his mind.
"Whats wrong with - " And again.
"Who are you?" He settled on this one.
"Who am I?" boomed the voice, "Well that's a silly question if I do say so myself. What's wrong with your feet? Not quite so silly. Where are you? Hmm, 50/50 on that one. The jury's still out."
"Do you ever answer questions or do you always void them?"
"You want answers?.."
"Yes!!"
"I don't really think you do... I know you better than you know yourself. You don't want to hear these answers, or at least you won't after I tell you them. But since I do know you, I know you won't give up until I start dishing out some answers." There was silence. Not quite an awkward silence, but silence all the same.
"Okay fine. Your feet? Sorry, that was my fault. They're incredibly hard to replicate. Most people wouldn't realise, they'd just be happy with feet more or less like the ones they had before. Yours are..." the voice paused, "odd, to say the least, of course. It's one of those things yeah? I messed up. Please accept my humble apologies." It was another silence.
"So, where are you? I couldn't say..."
"I thought you were going to give me answers" he said with a resounding sense of anger found usually only in unripe bananas stripped of their dignity and placed in a blender for exactly 15.76 seconds. It wasn't a pretty sight.
"Look, I just don't have that answer... Now, who am I? Uhm, that one's a trick one, as well."
"Just answer my questions!" - banana rage abruptly back at the surface. Not that it ever left.
A small part of the black became white. It was such a contrast that it was actually blinding. He covered his eyes as the shape grew bigger. Or was it coming closer? Without any perspective it was kind of hard to tell. The light edged closer cautiously. Soon a shape became apparent. Wait a second, is that a bicurnal vestrograph diplodictor? Yeah, I think it is! What the hell is that? Oh sorry, just drifting ogg there. The shapes morephed, unfortunately to everyone's disappointment, no longer a bicurnal vestograph diplodictor, but very... person-like. Yes, it was a person. It was decided - unless it changed again.
The light became less bright. More... skin-coloured. Oh phew, there were some clothes too. A toga infact, ooh very classy. A toga with a hood, however? Any sane man would question that.
... ... *ahem*
Any man would question that.
"A toga with a hood?"
"It suits it's purpose." The voice was certainly a lot less deep.No longer the booming mysterious voice, it was more... it was familiar. He definitely recognised the voice from somewhere, but couldn't quite place it.
And yes, its still in the same chapter, so it is still dedicated to Kev!